No More

It's official. I am pulling my daughter out of the school from hell. No more of this petty bullshit.

I get a call today from the school and my daughter is on black...again. So I talk to her, find out what she did and ask why she did it. I tell her that her father and I will talk to her when she gets home, that I love her and to put her teacher on.

Sub teacher gets on the phone and tells me cheerfully but in a condescending tone, "Mrs. S I'll be sending home a paper you will need to sign and return to me."

"Let's worry about that in a minute," I say. "First, what exactly did my daughter do to have these fish removed?"

"Excuse me?" she seems amazed I'm not just accepting what she tells me to do.

"I said, what did my daughter do exactly?"

"Well, the first thing she did was not follow directions and/or pay attention."

"Ok, how exactly did this happen though? What was she doing? How did she not follow directions?"

"Well...," she falters for a moment. "There is so much going on in class I can't recall exactly."

"Please forgive me for saying this," I'm ready to give her an ass chew. "But if you want me to punish my child I need to know exactly what she did."

"I'm sorry, I don't recall exactly."

"Ok, what was the second thing she did?"

"She spoke in the hallway."

At this point I'm starting to fester. I've been punishing my child for months for the most petty of things, like forgetting to put away crayons to talking in the hallway.

"Ok, and as for the last thing?"

"She threw a rock at a child."

"She did? Did she say why? What happened?"

"Well, I don't know exactly, a boy came to us and said Arwen threw a rock at him."

"So you didn't see her do this, so you don't know if this was done in play or anger or what, but she pulled a fish?"

"Mrs. S throwing rocks is very dangerous and shouldn't be done."

"Oh I agree, totally. But when I punish my children I need to know what has happened so I can find out exactly why she did something wrong. I don't tell her simply, 'you don't throw rocks'. I get deeper into it. I ask why she threw the rock. Was she angry? Was she playing? What was the problem? Arwen has 3 younger siblings, believe me when I say hitting, throwing or pushing isn't tolerated here."

"Yes Mrs. Saare. Unfortunately Arwen has troubles often with talking and sitting still. This has been a constant struggle with her."

I take a breath and start counting to ten.

"Please listen. I've been in talks with Mrs. B for weeks regarding this very thing. She has told me my daughter is strong willed and this won't change. She and I have been working together to find a way to work with Arwen for a positive outcome. I don't expect you to understand this because you weren't here when this happened. I'll talk to Arwen tonight and her father as well."

After we hung up I called the public school in our zone. I'm taking Arwen there tomorrow and letting her take a look. If she wants to go there, she is.

It's time I do what's best for my child. She is so very unhappy. Her voice today was something I've never ever heard before. Her voice was broken.