Two Men and a Wal-Mart

Dear Redneck Men who stood behind me at Wal-Mart,

First, I'd like to applaud you on your astute observations. Yes, it did appear that I was speaking to myself because yes, I was on a ear phone. I know it's a difficult concept to grasp. Conversations between people over digital phone lines is HUGE.

But it's the second thing I really want to thank you for. You know, when I leave my home with my little girl to visit the store for baby food, I don't dress up thinking I might score some toothless, wine guzzling fools who think I'll be so excited they think my "ass is meant for smacking" and things of that nature. Don't think I didn't hear you. I also thought that little thing you said while snickering and pointing at my daughter, "you've been busy" filled with sexual innuendo's was so classy. TOP NOTCH.

All I can say is this, pray I'm not alone the next time our paths cross. My daughter is the only thing that saved your crotch from my foot, shoving your balls into your throat and out your mouth.

Sincerely,

Going to "get busy" kicking your worthless ass