Feel the Bite, Bug Fright

I'm in pain. Annabel has started to bite me when she nurses. I knew it was coming. All of the children did this to me at some point BUT all of my children other than Miss Annabel lacked teeth until 1 year of age. I keep waiting for her to break the skin. It's hard to relax and let her nurse freely now because when I let my guard down and don't focus on her (rubbing her face or making eye contact) she bites down. She is too young to grasp "NO" very well and of course I'd never punish her physically. So I guess this is just a phase I'll have to grin and bear.

This season we have TONS of bloodthirsty mosquitoes. They are all over the house. I've killed at least 20 in the last week or so and they just keep coming in. That picture I took that looked like a dragonfly? I'm pretty sure it was one of the bloodsuckers in action.

Aside from being totally disgusting the bugs pose another issue. My children, especially Vincent, are terrified of them. Anytime Vincent spies a bug he will cry out in fear and come running to me, "BUG, BUGGG!" I feel badly as they got this from me I'm sure. I don't cope well with any type of insect or pest.

Otherwise this Monday has been pretty tame. The shingles are so gross though. They had begun to ooze, then dry and now they are doing both and the itch is unimaginable. I try to leave it alone but it's so hard. At least it's not so painful anymore.

Breastfeeding in Public

/rant on

As you all know, I support the choice to breastfeed. I'm proud that I managed to nurse all of my children and currently Annabel is still exclusive on the breast (she is still gaining weight and I've offered food which she isn't ready for just yet).

Recently I've noticed some articles online about nursing in public. Some people and establishments expect Mothers to either cover up (which some nursing children hate, Logan did), go into the bathroom or ultimately leave. Now versus linking to each one I'll just tell you how to find them. Simply Google "Breastfeeding in Public". Then click on "news".

Maybe I don't 'get it' because I breastfeed. And if these women (the ones asked to stop) breastfeed at all like I do, you can't see anything anyway. I was at Momaw's and feeding Annabel when my uncle walked in. He never even knew and thought she was asleep. I know this because he started to walk over to take a peek at her when I laughingly said, "she's eating right now Floyd." He blushed a bit and said he didn't know. In fact, I don't believe I've ever seen a nursing woman that showed any skin at all. Sure you could tell what she was doing but not because she had her breasts hanging out for the world to see.

I think it's a shame that people expect a baby to eat in a bathroom while her Mother sits on the toilet. I think it's degrading to even suggest it. So I have a suggestion to all these boob sensitive people and establishments.

Make a nursing room women can use with their children.

It's that simple. Otherwise don't bitch when my child wants to eat and I feed her, don't cry to me that people are uncomfortable or to take it somewhere else, or to cover her up. My daughter has the same right to eat in a clean and open environment just like any other patron. The same goes for any other woman and child. If you don't like the 'problem' then do something to make a reasonable solution.

And before people say it's not the restaurant's responsibility to make themselves baby accessible, have you seen those carrier holders they offer you when you walk into the door to place beside the table? They know parents come out to eat and therefore so do children.

/rant off.

Pointers into Sitters

I hope Annabel begins to accept food soon, she's still exclusive on the breast and since she's now 8 months old, it's getting tough. Let me share a story with you.

My nippie was on fire! I looked down at Annabel nursing and tried not to wince. "Any moment now she'll be done," I kept telling myself. As she finished my shoulders sagged in relief. I looked up to see Jimbo holding another baby.

"You forgot to feed her too," he says. He holds the baby out toward me...

Suddenly I wake up. The pain is still in my poor tired boob because Annabel is firmly latched on. It's 1:30 am and not only is my boob sore but my head is pounding. She cries when I take her off so I rotate her to the other side. She nestles in and proceeds to nurse for another 30 minutes.

When I can't hold off any longer I unlatch her and hurry downstairs to take something for my head, meanwhile she begins to throw a tantrum and scream bloody murder. I take the medicine and hurry back to the bed. She roots around until I offer up the breast and again she snuggles in to her personal smorgasbord.

My girls are not going to survive another child. God bless them. They used to be a source of great pride. Both were perky and many a person lavished attention on them (from afar people, these gals lived by the "look but don't touch" motto! Gheesh!). But those glory days are long since gone. Today those girls have a job to do, no more fun and games.

What I'm about to say to you all is tacky as hell but it makes me laugh so hard. It's from a song I love from Rusty McHugh who plays live in Florabama (I love those CD's, so does my Dad, he gave me my first copy. We're redneck like that). You can hear a snippet HERE. (THIS one is great too, just had to share, it's my favorite I think.)

One too many litters turned those pointers into sitters.

Shit.

Breastfeeding v/s Doctors Advice

I'm in a pickle. I knew I would be after reading about treatments for H. Pylori. I did my normal breastfeeding research, finding each medication that I could safely take for treatment. But there is a problem.

For certain treatment of H. Pylori doctors prefer to give the "Triple" treatment. Two antibiotics and one PPI. In my case, I can have one antibiotic and one PPI, this doesn't fly with my family doctor.

Since I've given birth he has pressured me to stop nursing the baby. Each time he sees me he comments or asks (irregardless to the fact I've answered him each time before), "how long are you nursing this baby for? babies only need to nurse for 6 weeks to get the benefit from Mother's milk." And each time I face him and let him know I'll nurse for as long as Annabel wishes but otherwise at least a year (as I've done with all of my children). He shakes his head at me. It's gotten rather old.

He's had the office contact me. He has advised them that when I come in for treatment, if I don't follow his complete advice totally, I have to sign a waiver that I didn't. So I'll be heading in this week to start a one antibiotic regimen with Prilosec. I'm also thinking of getting my hands on some Mastic gum (if it's nursing safe, going to research this morning) for the symptoms.

I'm very seriously contemplating finding another Doctor at this point and it's really sad. He's a good doctor generally. Especially for common things like colds, the flu or other less severe illness. But his stance on breastfeeding really turns me off and makes me uncomfortable. I want a physician that will work with me, not against me. What I find most surprising is any doctor would suggest a Mother stop nursing because of his personal views on nursing (his wife only nursed their daughters for 6 weeks so that is the magic number I suppose).

I just hope this works. Otherwise, if this pain and nausea persists, I may have no other choice but to wean and place Annabel on the bottle. It will be a very stressful thing to do for both of us. She doesn't like the bottle (even with expressed milk inside) and we each enjoy the closeness during her feedings. She is my last baby, I just wish I could enjoy this time together before it's gone. Then to add more complexity, Annabel has ezcema. I worry about the severity if introduced to any milk other than my own.

Oh and by the way, the picture above is the one that caused THIS huge controversy.

Attack of the Breastfeeding Fanatics!

I was checking up on one of my favorite blogs, The Lactivist. I'll be honest, I read the blog about the weaner-gate incident and didn't pay alot of attention to it. But today I caught up and it's interesting to say the least.

To summarize. Jennifer aka the Lactivist is attempting to wean her 14 month old son. She's using the don't ask, don't give method. So basically she will nurse but only if he specifically asks for it. She is preparing for a 11 day vacation with her husband and hopes Emmit will be weaned by that time. No big deal right?

WRONG. As usual, there are other Mothers out there who simply have to pick her apart. How dare she want her body back! Especially when they have nursed for 3 years straight! How dare she want a vacation with her husband! They would never dream of leaving their child for 11 days! How dare she call herself "The Lactivist". In order to call yourself that you must breastfeed until your child graduates college and gets married! (ok I'm taking that one a bit far, excuse me) If she cannot live up fully to that title then she simply must change it. Only women who nurse until their child says it's time to stop are true lactivists!

Why is it that so many women feel the need to bash others who don't agree with their parenting decisions? If you don't agree, then agree to disagree. I find it disheartening to see yet another divide made among women. Women have to start building each other up as much as possible, and they have to stop all the nit picking already!

The truth is, while it's awesome you're still breastfeeding your 2, 3, or 4 year old, other women simply do not feel comfortable with this. That is their decision. Try looking at it from the glass is half full perspective. Think to yourself, "She nursed for over a year! that's really good", instead of, "she stopped nursing after a year, that's terrible."

This is exactly why many Mothers choose formula. So many nursing Women set them up for failure! You heard it right. It's not enough that a Woman nurses but she also must nurse for so long, so often. She must be selfless, never mention aggravation at wanting her body back. She must never voice her disappointment, never complain. After all, there are other women out there who have it just as bad but they keep it to themselves.

If nursing Mother's truly wish other women to embrace breastfeeding, they must start showing more support. I know I want my sister to nurse her infant but my goal at this time is just to get her to nurse for as long as she can. Even if it's a few weeks. Some breastfeeding is better than no breastfeeding. Look for the good in things instead of the bad.

I personally have found alot of support from The Lactivist. She helped me out greatly when I was dealing with pain issues and medications. She got me in touch with a super lady who helped me work out a medication plan so I could continue to nurse Annabel. Someone who goes out of her way for a complete stranger can't be that bad, can she?

Breastfeeding Stigma

I've started and deleted entries about this issue. I'm not sure why exactly. Perhaps it is because I didn't think it was warranted enough, or better yet because I do not like offending other Mother's who choose to raise their children differently than I have my own. But I've decided the time has come to voice my feelings about breastfeeding.

To all you formula feeding Moms out there. I in no way believe you are doing less for your children simply because you do not nurse. I think each person chooses what is best in the long term for themselves. However...

I'm so tired of the negative remarks made toward breastfeeding women. For example, god forbid a nursing Mother mention she is nursing to give her child the best food for them or to give them the best start in life. That is a huge NO NO. Sure it might be true but you run the risk of pissing off other Mothers who have nothing to do with your choice.

I've also heard the way breastfeeding has been twisted into a perverse thing. Some women have actually asked me if it "feels good" or "if it feels like a man sucking on your breast". To these people I responded "you are sick." And they are. No, it doesn't feel sexual or erotic. It feels warm and loving because I am providing nourishment for my child.

If I may, I'd like to tell you what I witnessed this on Thanksgiving. My cousins baby who is two weeks older than Annabel was there. They began asking questions about myself, how I lost all the baby weight and finally about nursing.

"How much does she weigh? How long are you going to do that for? Don't you feed her other food too? Aren't you afraid she isn't getting enough? Do you give her a pacifier? Isn't it embarrassing? Do you feed her in public?" etc etc.

Or

"I could never do that. It feels too weird."

"I tried but she wasn't getting enough."

"It hurt too bad."

"I carried the baby for 9 months, I want my body back."

"He helped me, he can get out of bed to help feed the baby. It's not my job!"

"I tried but the first time she latched on I did this," holds arms as far away from her as possible while mimicking holding her baby. "I said get me a bottle NOW."

As I heard these things I was polite. And I kept my mouth shut. I knew that if I said anything the tables would suddenly be reversed. I've been there before. Had I said anything positive about nursing, other than the questions directed to me, someone was liable to get offended. I did however answer how much Annabel weighs and got, "wow!" due to the fact that while nursed, Annabel outweighed their own daughter (who is two weeks older). They did everything short of calling me a liar. Even going so far as to say, "are you sure? she looks smaller than Kaylia!"

Then it was time to feed our babies. I retreated to a quiet room alone while she went into the living room. When we finished I returned to the group and we sat talking. Around 15 minutes later her baby became very fussy. Immediately she pulled the bottle back out and started shoving it at the baby. The baby cried harder and rotated between shoving the bottle away and taking it. I watched on as the baby began wailing and screaming. I noticed spit up dribbling down her tiny chin. After a few more minutes I couldn't stand it any longer and handed Annabel to Jim.

"May I please? I promise if I can't calm her I will hand her back." I reached out my hands, hoping she would give me the chance to try and comfort the baby.

She graciously handed her to me and I began firmly burping her while also holding her tight to my chest. She was still spitting up (I have a huge stain on my shirt to prove it) and finally a large "BUUUURRRP" escaped from her mouth. The milk smelled sour, so I was pretty sure it was older milk, possibly. Still even after the burp she only calmed for a short time and returned to screaming.

I'll have you know that baby cried for over 45 minutes, only stopping from time to time. They had her dressed in a satin/silk dress with stockings. I asked if they had a nice comfie cotton jammie to place her in. I was certain the tight hose were uncomfortable. When they said they didn't I offered them the one I'd packed as an extra for Annabel. Initially they accepted but when I went into the living room a few minutes later the outfit still sat. They decided against it because "she seems calmer now." I felt so badly for the baby but picked up the soft piece of clothing and put it away.

When we left Jimbo turned to me and said, "I'm so glad you decided to nurse all of our children, that poor baby broke my heart."

I nodded and said I wasn't sure but I thought it was the formula causing an upset tummy and Jimbo confirmed this. Apparently he overheard my cousin and his wife talking about the newest formula they were trying her on. The poor thing is always colicky and fussy. He said he was very shocked to hear the babies Mother say she couldn't wait to return to work after the long weekend.

So yes, I'm glad I nurse. I'm grateful I didn't have to deal with things like colic or switching formulas to find just the right one. And I'm not ashamed of it. Here are some of the reasons I nurse my child.

*****

No bottles. I don't have to worry about heating a midnight bottle. All I have to do is reach into the bassinet and bring the baby into the bed to nurse. After I'm finished she can return to her bed. And if you're especially sleepy, you can do the side lying nursing position and you both can rest.

It's healthy. Your baby benefits so much. Your milk is easily digestible to him/her.

No smelly diapers! Breastfeeding babies don't have that smelly poo you think they do. In fact it reminds me of buttered popcorn (sorry if that was too visual).

Losing weight! Annabel is 4 months old and I weigh less than I did when I found out I was pregnant. While this much weight loss isn't the norm (I lost it this fast with Logan too but not with Arwen or Vince) you will lose more calories by nursing.

It's convenient. You don't have to worry about packing bottles when leaving the house. Your food is right there for your baby.

You save money. No expensive formula here. We did the math and by nursing all my children we've saved thousands of dollars.

The bond. A Mother can experience such a bond while nursing. I truly can say I will admit to missing this one aspect as my children grow.

*****

There are more but these are the major reasons I nurse. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
And as for my cousin and his baby girl. I called and she's still fussy. My heart breaks for her. They are trying yet another formula and may have to switch to Nutramigen LIPIL. They are trying to find other alternatives however because the cost is high for that particular type of formula. I hope they are able to ease Kaylias discomfort soon.

**That gorgeous photo is of Lucy Lawless of Xena fame and her child.