What Did You Expect?

My Mother-in-Law purchased tickets to A Christmas Carol for me and Arwen as a Christmas gift. I was incredibly excited, as it's been years since I've seen a play, and couldn't wait to make the trip.

As we walked inside the building, and waited for the doors to open, I saw not one, but two very small infants. Pushing aside what could possibly become a distraction, I took my daughter inside and purchased her a drink that she had to finish prior to taking our seat. All of the ticket holders were told as we entered, "No food or drinks in the auditorium". Yet, when we arrived, we sat next to a women with one of the aforementioned infants. And seated next to her was a child Arwen's age -- gulping down a cup of soda from the concession stand.

Really, I could go into the other things that occurred when the lights went down -- babies crying (and in their defense, with all the loud and unexpected pyrotechnics, I would be squalling too!), children kicking the back of our seat (after being politely asked to stop), food wrappers being opened, cell phones going off -- but I won't. The purpose of this blog isn't to delve into that. Rather, I'd like to address people who feel that my Mother-in-Law's gift (and money) is less important than what they obviously think is their God given right to be assholes.

What is wrong with people? I don't mean to be a downer, but I was flaggerbasted by the adults who brought food and drink into a place they were specifically asked not to. Then to add insult to injury, decided their phone conversations were so damned important they couldn't shut their Motorola off for an hour and a half to spare the rest of us saps a bit of sanity.

Sadly, the bitch within surfaced, and I not only said something to the woman's child who was kicking my seat (who refused to stop after several warnings), but I was also forced to explain to my daughter (within earshot of the child her age and the mother that refused to follow the rules) that some people don't have the sense God gave a cockroach.

It was only after my declarations that the idiots in my vicinity threw away their drinks, chided their heathen children, and allowed my daughter, Mother-in-Law, and me to enjoy the second half of the play in peace. Word to the wise, peeps. You don't want to be called out for being a douche, then don't be a douche! Seriously, what do you expect?

Here are a few pictures. The cast was wonderful enough to pose for pictures and to give autographs. It's a shame they had to perform with cell phones blaring and babies screaming.

The Holiday Season

Ahhh the holiday season. A time of joy, peace, serenity, good will toward men...A time of greed, insanity, price checking and psyching out the woman about to purchase the last 2008 Christmas Barbie from the shelf at the local Hell-Mart.

Lady, if you wanted the doll that badly, all you had to do was say so. Snatching it off the shelf before my hand made it to the box only made you look moronic and quite sad. But don't fret, there are only 3 other Wal-marts in our general vicinity, and my daughter will be content with or without a plastic doll wrapped in glitter and lace.

Happy Holidays.

State Trooper Tickets Woman in Labor

You just have to READ this to believe it.

I have to say, the state troopers I have had the misfortune of meeting on the roads have ALWAYS been assholes. In fact, one pulled Jimbo over a couple of years ago and he caused Arwen (who was only 4 at the time) to burst into tears because she was afraid he was going to take her to jail. I can't say I blame her after he pointed his finger at her directly and demanded 'how old is she??'

I realize that police officer's provide an essential service and I'm grateful - but I'm equally grateful to the troops serving in other countries to defend this one and you don't see them behaving like egotistical assholes.

Dennis Leary

You've got to love AN IDIOT AT HIS BEST.

To summarize, Dennis Leary has published a new book which I confess I have not read (and I also admit I will not be reading) in which he says:

"There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically."

Of course now he is clarifying "what he meant" by that remark and he says he has nothing but respect for families that have autistic children. Hey Dennis, while you're at it, why don't you go out and bash the comedians that have no fucking concept of what the hell they are talking about - as evidenced by a well known one that recently opened his mouth, shoved his foot inside and tried to explain afterward what he meant.

It's not humor if it's not funny - it's just tacky and sad. So is resorting to insulting children by calling them "dumb-asses". Good luck with that best seller brother, I'm sure you don't need the support of the autistic community to make it a winner!

It's called a CARSEAT

I'm about to pull out my soapbox and technically, I am a hypocrite for doing it but I think you'll forgive me when I explain. Without further ado...

After I dropped Vincent off at school today I made a quick trip to the Piggly Wiggly (yes we have one and yes I know - it's flaming redneck as hell) for a loaf of bread. I pull into the parking lot and park the van, reaching for my keys when I see it.

A man driving a small mazda four door of some kind cuts across the parking lot in an angle to pull along side me and in his lap is a very small toddler, I'm talking 18-24 months old. He throws the mazda in park and climbs out, toddler in his arms and walks inside. I shake my head at him (of course he doesn't see) and I go in and grab a loaf of bread.

While I'm waiting in the line the man comes behind me with the little boy, cuddling him and speaking softly to him. So either he loves the child or he's putting on a show. I take my time when I walk out the doors and strap Annabel in, walking around just as they exit the store. I glance over in the back of the mazda and a car seat sits empty. I wait to see what will happen.

The man comes around and opens the door and slides into the drivers seat, child once again in his lap. He slams the door shut and adjust himself and turns on the motor, ready to take a trip down the interstate with an infant on his lap.

What the fuck???

Now I realize we live in the country and I myself have allowed my children to take the wheel in my lap while on our road which is a cul de sac in the middle of nowhere. But I would never allow them to sit in my lap while driving roads where there is traffic.

I should have called the cops on the guy, I really should have. If I see an accident occurred on the news tonight and a child was killed because he was in his parents lap instead of his car seat I'll never forgive myself.

Someone needs to get a GRIP

Nothing beats drama, unless of course it's good internet drama, or better still, good internet drama by rabid Twilight fans.

So here's the deal, after Breaking Dawn's release one week ago the camps have been split in two:

The Breaking Fails v/s The OMGBreakingDawnisthebomb!

Basically, you either love it or hate it. Sure there is middle ground but it's pretty sparse in comparison. I've been browsing (and partaking) in some heated debates on the Amazon.com threads and it gets as hot as a june bride bareback on a hot stove. Many people are passionate about the books, stating (as I have):

Twilight is a Trilogy

Many wish Breaking Down, excuse me, Breaking Dawn never existed. And then it got ugly. The Twilight Lexicon which is a base for fans to meet and discuss the books has rewritten it's "manifesto". It contains juicy nuggets like this:

1. The Twilight Saga is comprised of four books. It is not a trilogy. You may have wished that the books stopped at three, but they didn’t, and this site is a fan site for all the books in the Twilight Saga. We firmly stand by the canon as established in all four books. It all really happened. If you want to pretend Breaking Dawn never happened, that’s fine, but on this website there are no banners, avatars, sigs to that effect, and discussion acknowledges and concedes that all events contained in the four volume series exists. Denial of canon has no place on this website.

It's would be idiotic if it weren't so damned funny.

Here's a thread about it: Fails So Bad

Message

What kind of message do you think it sends when your 13 year old, in a fit of rage, breaks not one but two of his $200 glasses and then informs you that he wants contact lenses and he will only break any other glasses you buy? And you get angry and tell him - rightfully so- that you will not buy him contacts and he can forget it. Only to reneg on your original promise later because - well - he needs to see after all.

I have an idea. Get some black electric tape, ply those pieces together and have him go to school Steve Irkel style. If that doesn't clear up his attitude then at least he'll realize for once you mean business.

Twilight Popularity

As I've written before, I'm in love with a book series. It started innocently enough, I was intrigued by the cover of the book (two hands, holding a red apple, signifying eating of the forbidden fruit) and decided to give it a shot. I brought it home and a love affair began.

I've read Twilight at least 7-8 times now, New Moon (my least favorite) 3-4 and Eclipse 7-8 times as well. There is something about the characters that pull you in and make you care about them so much so you simply cannot stop thinking about them, even when you've closed the book.

So I was speaking to my husband about a few controversies with the books.

The first being the Mom's who say they refuse to allow their daughter's to read them because it portrays girls as worthless unless they have the love of a beautiful boy - valid I suppose. And they claim it is a negative example that Bella is willing to forsake everything, her life, her family, her mortality, all for the sake of this boy she loves - also valid.

Which brings me to the other thing Jimbo asked - why are these books so insanely popular??

I really thought about that. Why is it "I" love the books so much. Basically the story is a romance novel about Bella and Edward.

Then it hit me.

I think the reason so many people relate to this story, especially girls and women, is because Edward isn't around anymore. We live in a society today where men teach their boys to be "manly". Where it's acceptable to call girls and women "bitches and ho's" and to ask a girl out by saying "hey baby, can I dip those digits?"

Gone is the guy who holds opens the door, brings you flowers on the first date or tells you how amazingly beautiful you are in his eyes. The romance has faded and in it's place are men who think we're lucky they will give us the time of day and there are girls convinced enough to buy it.

I'm fortunate that my husband was raised by a woman who taught him early on how to treat a woman like a lady - with respect and kindness. The sad thing is that most women wouldn't want a man like mine because he didn't fit the description girls are brought up believing will make them happy. A huge 6' plus guy with bulging abs and a temper.

Me V/S Pappaw : 4th of July Smackdown

I can't believe I only remembered this today to share with the blogosphere. But at least I did recall what transpired between myself and my Pappaw aka my Dad's Father on the 4th.

We arrived early, around 11am. The kids immediately ran to the playroom and settled in. Shortly after my cousin arrived with his brood (another 4 children) which meant there were 8 children in all running around wildly. Jimbo and I stayed inside to supervise but after an hour or so I decided to take a walk outside to visit. It figures as soon as I did Vincent would take note and come along with me.

So I get outside and Vincent bounds off the porch to the playset. I'm talking to my Father, Pappaw, Nana (his wife), my cousin and my new uncle (by marriage). All is right with the world until I hear Vincent's cry. I know the cry very well, it's his "pain" cry. I turn to see he's hit his head on the corner of the wooden stairs. Obviously it hurts.

"Come here Vince." I soothe and reach out to him. He limps over to me as he also tripped after hitting his head and hit his shin.

"Momma," he whimpers as he walks into my arms.

As I'm comforting my child Pappaw says:

"Tell that boy to suck it up."

I look up slowly, hoping he is joking but the look in his eyes tell me he is most definitely not.

"What? Suck it up? Are you kidding?" I say.

"He's a boy, he needs to suck it up and shake it off." He stares at Vincent with the oddest expression and I feel that Lioness roar up inside me.

"Well you know what?" I say back hotly. "He doesn't have to suck up shit and do you know why? Because I'm his Momma and I will suck it up for him!"

We stare for a moment before I stand up with Vincent in my arms and go back inside. Once there I hurry to Jimbo to bitch and rant. I'm so furious I'm shaking. How dare this old fart tell my 3 year old to suck it up? He's just a kid! Jimbo is shocked and when I tell my Mom she is livid. I spend the rest of the day avoiding Pappaw until he's about to leave. As if he knows I'm still angry he hugs me and tries to make small talk. I'm polite as he is my Grandfather but I'm still angry. He leaves and sadly I know deep down my opinion of him has changed, quite possibly forever.

Want to know the incredibly funny part of all of this? My Grandfather and Grandmother left my Dad and his siblings when they were just little babies (my children's ages). They were raised by my Mammaw instead, I still remember the grief my Dad experienced when she passed. It's the only time I've ever seen him cry. So forgive me if I don't take parenting instructions from someone who never had it in him to parent.

What if I said NO?

The one thing Jimbo and I do most as a couple is watch movies. It's something that doesn't take too much time, isn't that expensive (if we eat here first) and it allows us a reprieve from the kids. We enjoy our movies very much.

So yesterday afternoon we decided to see Hellboy II. My Mom (in law) said she'd watch the kids and we headed out for the 5:00pm show. As is usual for us we arrived 30 minutes early, picked our seats and waited.

Without fail, a group walked in a couple of minutes as previews were starting up. One sat directly next to me (instead of finding seats in the mostly empty auditorium) and I look at Jimbo and roll my eyes as this has happened more times than I'd care to remember. Suddenly one of the men looks at me and says:

"Hey, could ya'll scoot down a seat?"

I sat there for a moment and considered how to answer because I didn't want to move for these assholes. I'd gotten to the movie early to pick out my seats and while it's not a big deal to move over it's just the principal of the matter. The theater was practically empty, there was no shortage of places to sit. Who in the hell do people think they are nowadays?

I looked at him and finally said "fine" and moved down before adding "it doesn't matter we got here 30 minutes before you to sit here, whatever you need man, I live to serve".

But it gets better.

Why oh why do people think they need to replay each moment on the screen to their nearby companions. Do they think everyone needs a play by play or a "hot damn!" or "Oh my god" or "did you see that" or "oh shit!" or...you get my drift. These morons talked the entire duration of the movie, filling in everyone within earshot about the previous film, the powers of each character and so on.

I enjoyed Hellboy II but it was definitely dampered by these fools. I'm going to start telling people like this to shut the fuck up and to hell with the consequences.

AT&T Warranty My Ass

So, for Christmas my husband decided he wanted a Blackberry. At first I wasn't too keen on the idea but eventually figured if that is what he wanted then that is what he'd get. We purchased a refurbished phone through AT&T who Jim's Mom has a plan with (he shares a plan with her as they don't use a lot of minutes) with a 1 year warranty...

A few days ago Jimbo told me his phone wouldn't charge. Upon inspection the little power hook-up area had a tiny little nodule missing. We dropped by the store after a trip into town and were given a phone number to call since we had a warranty and were assured they would send out a replacement phone asap.

Well, that was some nice smoke they blew up our asses. The defect is considered a "physical" one and therefore doesn't qualify for a warranty. Instead our only option is to buy another phone all together. Jimbo argued with them but they refused to sway on the issue.

"You can buy another phone or renew your contract and get a discount".

I'm so steamed that I manged to talk Jimbo into leaving AT&T wireless and heading on over to Verizon with me. Now I'm faced with a minor decision. Do I contact AT&T and rub it into their faces that I've converted their once customer to my own phone provider since he received shitty service and warranties? Or do I just have him cancel the plan and move over being the bigger person about all of this?

I think I'm going to call. That phone wasn't cheap and it didn't even last 7 months. And what's worse? The phone is in perfect condition other than you can't recharge it. Talk about a waste!

IT'S.A.BOOB

I got some delicious "hate" comments from someone on youtube. The video was in regard to an Applebee's nurse in that took place in Kentucky. Seems that a Mom was asked to stop nursing her child when she had the legal right to do so. So to bring awareness to this issue a nurse-in was planned and people were commenting about it.

One comment in particular saddened me as a Mom explained coming to tears as she nursed her child in the bathroom on the toilet. I responded to her:

Breastfeeding is a natural thing. I think people that view it perversely are the ones who should be shamed, not the Mothers who wish to provide nature's nourishment to her child.

With that said, provide me as a nursing mother with a private facility that is clean and NOT a bathroom and I'll be more than happy to go into another area to nurse.

If you won't eat your food off the toilet don't ask my baby to. Angel I am so sorry that happened to you. You and your child deserve better. I find it so amusing that any pro-breastfeeding comment is rated down.

I'm not surprised at this however. Some people cannot and will not look outside of their own little boxes.

Well a few months later an idiot responds to my comment, calling me a "feminazi" among other things, here read for yourself:

How do you know your not the one in a box. As a matter of fact, your in the minority on this issue. When my wife decides to feed our baby formula, and then sees a t-shirt on a baby that say, "formula is for pussies", we have a right to be pissed off. Why don't you feminazis get a life and stop trying to look for trouble.

This is exactly what is wrong with our society. We clump all people into one category when we either disagree with them or don't understand their choices. Then to put the cherry on the cupcake we name call.

I hope this guy is more respectful to his "wife". I'm curious if it is her decision not to breastfeed or if this gentlemen requested she use formula.

Oh in case you're wondering, I responded with this:

First, name calling doesn't exactly frame you as someone who is knowledgeable about this issue nor does it make me consider you someone who is even worth the keystrokes to explain or define my rights and the rights of my child.

With that said, it's very irresponsible of you to clump nursing Mother's together based off of ONE person who decided to wear a shirt that gave a message that obviously offended you.

You are the one looking for trouble, with a huge chip on your shoulder too I might add.

Cellphones are the bane of Society

I have had it. Enough is enough.

I don't go to the movies to be surrounded by teens who are nowhere near the age of 17 yet walk right up and get tickets to the rated R movie "The Strangers". Whatever happened to carding people? Or being accompanied by an adult. I should have known it was only bound to get worse.

We got decent seats and waited for the movie to start. I noticed 90% of the audience looked to be well under the 17 age requirement with nary an adult in sight. The lights dimmed and the movie started when the cell phones suddenly popped out all around us.

You know, I don't know why people think they are so fucking special. Do they believe that movie patrons don't mind that they are ruining a show with their blue cell phone lights flashing in our eyes? Obviously some of them have some shame as they cover the phones with jackets or purses. If they do this then I would imagine they have some clue that the light is a distraction to others. Yet I got to watch my movie, intended to be viewed in absolute darkness, with the blare of cell phones instead.

When the movie was over I started to complain LOUDLY.

"I love paying good money to watch people text message! I consider that a good $12 well spent!"

At one point as we were walking out a teen whipped out her phone and started texting.

"See," I poked Jimbo and pointed. "Whatever happened to actually hurrying home to see what messages you have on something called an answering machine?"

Just as I said it, the teens Mother pops out her cell phone and begins texting herself.

"Welp, that explains it! Like Mother like daughter!" I say this loud enough for the Father/husband to look over at me. I glared at him until he turned away. Good thing, he can't defend the guilty can he?

This is what is wrong with our society today. Kids who have zero respect for others and instead have a sense of entitlement. Of course they do, they are learning by example.

I've told Jimbo I want to buy a cell phone jammer. I think it would be money so well spent. I'd love to just attend movies to watch the utter chaos that would erupt when people couldn't text message during a show. Now that would be entertainment!

Late Night Worrying and Ranting

"Mommy, I have a lump in my neck too." Arwen walked up to me and motioned to her neck.

"Really?" I played along. "Where?"

"Feel, right...here." She pulled on my hand and placed it on the same side, same spot of my surgery.

I gently felt around and thought I was imagining things, so I felt again...and again...and my heart sank. She has a lump that is almost the same size in almost the same exact location of the one I just had removed.

I have to see the surgeon again in a week and I'll be making a dual appointment for her and myself. I thought I was worried before when this happened to me but I had no idea how worried I could be about something. It's 20 times worse when it's your child.

She's had issues with her tonsils and we'd planned on having them removed this summer. I'm thinking that if the surgeon feels a biopsy is necessary I can request they do both while she is under anesthesia.

It's 3:19 am and I've tossed and turned all night long. I wish it was for the reasons related to myself and not my little girl.

To make matters worse, I got a phone call this afternoon from the school I'd registered Arwen at. While not in our district I was assured that if the class was not at capacity she would be more than welcome (understandably they have to service the children in their zone first). I knew I'd be getting the call to tell me whether or not there was room in the class.

Let me start by saying the principal is an ass, I already knew this. He was a teacher for years at this same school and eventually got the job of principal. He's very well known by all the parents because he's very well despised (by his former students, now parents to his new batch).

He pissed Jimbo off not too long ago when he dropped Logan off at school one morning. He didn't have work that day and was wearing a t-shirt, blue jeans and driving his truck (which looks like something a crazy teen would drive - tinted windows, etc). He pulled up, got out and ran to the passenger side to take Logan inside. Mr. S saw this from the office and rushed outside.

Mr. S : You cannot park here.

Jimbo : I'm not, I'm just dropping him off.

Mr. S : Don't park here again.

Jimbo : I'm not parking, I'm dropping my son off...

Mr. S : Sir, this is a no parking zone, do not park here again or you will be fined.

Jimbo: .....

Then the next week Jimbo did the exact same thing, only this time he was in our Camry, in his work clothes (slacks and dress shirt). Mr. S walks right on by and never says a word.

So when he calls today, this is how the conversation goes.

Me: Hello?

Mr. S: I'm calling to speak to Arwen's parents.

Me: This is her Mom.

Mr. S: I have here that you registered Arwen to attend 1st grade here next semester. (note, he doesn't ask he informs)

Me: Yes sir.

Mr. S: We're not accepting anyone from outside the district into the classroom.

Me: Oh, so you're at capacity this year?

Mr. S: No, we're just not accepting anyone outside the district.

Me: I'm confused, I was told that if you weren't at capacity...

Mr. S: It's not personal, nothing against your child but we're not accepting children outside our district, she will have to use your own zone.

Me: I'm not sure if you're aware but the major reason we'd hoped to register her at your school is so she can attend the same school both of her brothers do. My oldest son is a student of Ms. F and has been since last year.

Mr. S: It's not personal but we're not accepting children outside the district. Thank you.

*click*

The fracker hung up on me.

Now. I know school's only have so much room. I knew Arwen might not get into this particular one. But this man talked down to me, treated me like an idiot and then had the audacity to hang up on me. Perhaps the fact that a majority of his parents don't have a college education is his excuse for being so arrogant. Perhaps he is used to intimidating other people because he thinks he is smarter and more cunning. But I'm not one of them and I refuse to be treated so callously by him.

So the next time I go to the school I plan on walking up to him, introducing myself and asking him to explain exactly why my daughter can't attend the school. I'm pretty sure he won't be so ballsy when he's looking me in the face.

I'll save the drama with my Momma (lol drama with my Momma!) for tomorrow. This entry has enough of that as it stands.

What they wouldn't Give

The letter I was to write is no more. Samuel has decided he doesn't want to see his Father after all. He's come to realize this man has left him through out his entire life and it would serve no purpose to speak with him. He says the only thing he's thankful for when it comes to his Father is, "that he gave me life".

I struggle to understand this man. I can't contemplate how a person wouldn't want to at least speak to their own flesh and blood. After all, he was a part of his life when he was smaller. But after Jo died he just stopped coming around. The only reminder of his existence being the monthly child support checks that he was chased down for and forced to pay each month via automatic withdraw.

There are people who would give anything to have the opportunity to speak just once with their child. There are others who would sacrifice their soul for one last day with their son or daughter. Yet here is this man who is totally unmoved by the needs of his son and can't even take the time to make a simple phone call.

It's a Nader!

If there is one thing you can count on living in the south, it's Tornado season (aka Nader season). I have vivid memories of being waken from a deep slumber by my panicked Mom shouting at me to "GET UP" because we had to "GET TO THE STORM SHELTER". I hated the weather, especially on a tornado warning school night.

This morning when I got up it was like any other. The temperature outside was muggy but I didn't think too much about it. After the kids were off to school I got into the shower and hurried to the doctor. As I arrived I was told the weather was "taking a bad turn" which in Redneckville means "prepare to batton down the hatches, nader weather is fast approachin'". So I decided after my appointment to pick Logan up at Vincent's pick up time as well.

As I was driving the news came over the radio. All schools, both county (the boys) and city (Arwen's) were dismissing early. This meant I got to call and ask my Mom (please read plead and beg) to pick her up for me. After I had the boys I met up with Mom who was so kind to pick up lunch at Zaxby's (I owe you Mom, big time) so the ride home was rather peaceful.

I wish I could say the rest of my afternoon has been equally tranquil but I'd be lying through my teeth. My children, being forced into the cramped quarters that is the playroom, have been at one another since. I've been considering barricading myself into the office until Jimbo arrives home to make it through the day with a touch of sanity and control left.

And while I hate the weather it's made so much worse by one person...my local weather man. The bastard. Why do you get such a perverse pleasure from scaring the absolute shit out of folks guy? Each time we go into a watch/warning you begin to salivate and a light glows from the television out of your beady eyes. It's not very nice to all but scream at your viewing audience...

"IT'S AT YOU!! TAKE SHELTER NOW!!"

Seriously dude, is this the reason they stopped doing that little "giveaway" each time you were 3 degrees off of a daily high or low temperature? If you determine the giveaway weather anything like you do potential tornado's they must fork out some serious coffee mugs. Do the world a favor, either take some Zanax or learn to tone it down. Someone can't die of a tornado if they're already dead from a nasty tumble down the stairs because you've sent them into a frenzy.

Welp, gotta go, it's "almost here" again. If you don't hear from me, a nader' got us.

The Drunken Aunt...Again

Old Aunt Glo is up to her old antics again. My poor Mother in Law is trying her best to stay out of it but it's not easy. Especially when she hops on that community watch frequency, drunker than Cooter Brown, and begins her spewing.

I've never wished harm on another person until her. Her life (if you can call it that) consists of such extreme hatred and jealousy. Her best friend is alcohol and they get together each day to create misery for any and all who come into contact with them. They love to chew people up and spit them out. Nothing and no one is sacred.

With Mother's Day fast approaching I think about my Mommaw. How hard must it be on her to look at the path her daughter has chosen. Does she look at Glo and remember when she was a teeny baby, babbling and smiling. How could she have known what her daughter would become or better yet, just how low she would go.

I wish my family would boot this monstrosity from them.

So Glad

Arwen is on black again today. Which means I got a call from her teacher (again) about her behavior (again). This time she didn't throw away extra popcorn kernels as instructed. *sigh*

So after speaking with my child the teacher comes back onto the phone. I explain my niece was here yesterday and Arwen's behavior is always worse after a visit, which I know is no excuse. Teacher laughs a bit and I tell her this is why Zoe doesn't visit often.

"I love her but she's hard, so hard by the time she goes I'm ready to hand her over."

"Now you know how I feel at 3pm each afternoon, don't get me wrong, I love Arwen too, but by 3pm I'm ready too." She tells me.

"Yes," I agree. "I do understand. It's the reason I'm dreading the upcoming summer."

"It's not the summer I'm worried about for you, it's puberty."

Really? Was that absolutely necessary? Maybe you have some sort of humor that I just don't "get" but seriously. Do you think that statement was at all humorous? Because I know it wasn't appropriate, not to mention, totally unprofessional.

I'm telling you, I cannot wait until next year.

Animal Cruelty = Art?

Guillermo Habacuc Vargas do you recognize that name?

This idiot paid two children for a dog which he placed into his art museum, tied to the wall, without food or water until the dog eventually died. Then he had the nerve to call it art.

But wait, it gets better. Someone from a different gallery has asked him to do another exhibit like the first with another dog and there is a petition online to stop it from occurring. You can find it HERE.

It's Only a Game

I try not to blog about Final Fantasy too often. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's because I'm uncomfortable with it, even after years of playing. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not embarrassed that I play it's more of I'm uncomfortable having such strong emotions tied directly to something that is meant to be recreational and more importantly, is just a game.

Unfortunately for me, I have to blog about it, as blogging is my outlet to vent and express my anger, hurt and happiness. Recently for me the blogging in regard to it has been more from negative feelings than good and that made me truly question why it is I continue to play at all.

Back when I started, it was strange. A part of me enjoyed playing but another part of me felt so silly telling my friends or family about this other reality. When I'd make plans online and would have to decline offers to go visit or go out I could sense that little 'weirdness' people thought. But over time my family just accepted this as a part of our life and slowly it became less 'odd' so to speak. We played pretty seriously there for quite sometime, only in the past couple of years has our interest and enjoyment waned.

I suppose part of the change for us has been the people. That is the one aspect of MMORPG's I don't think many will ever truly understand unless they immerse themselves into the lifestyle. It's not just something you log into that you turn off as easily as hitting an off switch. The relationships and friendships take on their own life, just like they would if you meet someone in reality. And normally this would be awesome. It's a wonderful thing to meet and make new friends.

But there is a huge flaw, a flaw that makes it impossible to truly ever get to know anyone online. It's what I like to call the "behind the screen fearless persona". For people who have unhappy lives at home, who are depressed, sad, angry or jealous, for people who want to hurt others to build themselves up, online venues are just the right ticket. Here they can be whomever they want to be and no one, other than those they might know in real life, will ever know if it's the 'real' them or not.

Online these kinds of people can be vocal instead of quiet, angry instead of compliant, soft instead of hard or better still, hard instead of soft. They can do and say anything without fear of repercussions. There are no rules, no penalties, no moral codes. There is only you, the computer, the keyboard and the screen. What you choose to do is totally up to you. You decide how this story goes.

These past few months I've been struggling with one person in particular and as you can see from my entry below, it's about to come to heads. This woman who plays online is very manipulative, very cunning and she knows it. She plays a cool game and while I see her exactly for who and what she is, others have the blinds on and either cannot or will not see what is right in front of them. She plays a good game of manipulation. She is an emotional vampire as Lawfrog would say.

She has something to complain about each day. It ranges from her total failure of a husband who never helps her with their children, to having another migraine, to being totally stressed, to 'needing a break'. Yet she is online, each and everyday, for hours on end and she's a stay at home Mom who's youngest child is older than my oldest. I can be as symphathic as the next person but I realized long ago that people don't pay their money to hear my tales of stressful family woe. They don't care about my children, my heartburn or my lazy ass husband.

Still, each day she tells everyone her tragic stories, whether they want to hear it or not, whether you're a complete stranger or someone she actually speaks to. She also loves to play the 'one up' game too. So if you have a story, prepare yourself to be 'one upped' because she has something that was harder, sadder and more difficult than you could ever come to understand.

Her life you see, is pain.

I made the decision to stay clear of her when I found out about her many online 'relationships'. I know many people find love and happiness over the net but when you're a married woman with children it just seems wrong to me to play the field. I never told her this because she made a comment one day comparing her children to my own that put me so totally off I just avoided her completely thereafter. But if you've ever played and shared a linkshell or guild with someone, you know this is easier said than done.

Fast forward months later and now we absolutely hate one another. While I've never personally done anything to her months of not kissing her ass has made her resentful. She's one of those women that takes things one of two ways: You are for or you are against her. There is no middle ground.

I'm struggling with what to do about this. It's obvious I cannot continue to just let it go and hope for the best. There is no reason whatsoever for me to be unhappy doing something that is meant solely for the purposes of entertainment but at the same time I don't fork out our monthly fees to take it up the ass from this psycho bitch either.

I'll sum this person up with one example. There is a thread with members of our linkshell and their pictures. She posted a recent picture with 3 other women in which her hair was in a ponytail, she was blurry and in a very large t-shirt. She looked rather heavy in the picture and posted above it, "I've lost a lot of weight since then."

Then directly below that photo she posted a picture taken from her high school yearbook with her in 70's/80's western wear. She then said that she looked "like the older picture" just her "hair was different". She laughed that "I really need to take a new picture soon".

That alone tells me all I need to know about this person. How can she take responsibility for how badly her life has become or how unhappy she is if she cannot even move out of the past? And more importantly this tells me that nothing I say or do will ultimately mean shit because anything I say will trickle through one ear and flow right out the other. No one is going to make her comfortable in her own skin until SHE is comfortable in her own skin. Her own insecurities are going to be the cause of her inevitable downfall.

So it's only a game, a game with real people on the other side, or at least real people pretending to be 'real' people. Or better still, real people who wish they still looked like old glamour shots photo's.

(LOL The picture above is not of this woman, I suppose I could have been cruel and made it up to impose her character model on top of that high school shot of hers but I'm not that petty. This is just a random google'd shot I came across)