Email!

One last post for the day.

For those of you I've emailed (Tania is the exception! She's already hip to the new way to contact me) I've changed my email.

So if you've emailed me in the last 4 months *blush* I've missed it! I had to change it to something easier for people to remember and to alleviate all the spam I was receiving (over 20 or more per day!)

If you want my new email, just post to this and I'll comment on your blog and you can just erase it afterward.

Bright side of Life

I know everyone has moments in their life when they think:

"Why me??"

My moments have been coming around more and more often, especially in recent weeks. It's been a battle to keep a positive outlook. There are days when I am too tired to get out of bed but I do because the world doesn't revolve around me. My days are tied in with 4 other little lives and that keeps me on track most of the time.

The thing is, I really believe that some higher power sends people your way when these moments in life happen. These people can be strangers, family or someone you've met through an online venue such as a blog. And they have the ability to transcend the worries and chaos and bring a balance to your outlook.

So to my special person, thank you for lending your ear and thank you for being such a wonderful, caring and amazing person. I don't think I'd have survived the week without you. Now if I could just find the time to call so we could actually speak for a while sans kids - then all would be totally right with the world.

Ant

We drifted apart for a time and my heart was broken. Then suddenly you where there and I didn't care how or why or about any of the events that caused us to part. Hearing your voice filled this empty void I didn't even realize I had inside me.

I'm grateful you are back in my life and I've missed you.

Paging Lawfrog!!

Hey Lawfrog!

I lost my email addresses when my hard drive crashed...so if you kept my email and can, drop me a line pretty please so I can mail ya! LOL

<3

Randomness and Pathology

First - benign! Thank the lord. The nodule was a mixture of muscle and fatty tissue but nothing bad.

Second - talked to someone else from the school. It appears that while they are not at capacity they did lose a classroom (budget cuts?) and therefore only have 1 room this year for 1st grade. This makes TONS more sense as to why Arwen wasn't invited this year. Why the Principal couldn't simply convey this to me I'll never understand.

Third - commenting on friends blogs. I've had issues before with blogger. First it was loading pictures up and now I'm having problems commenting. I'll post it up, hit publish and the computer will just sit there. It's beyond frustrating. So to everyone, I'm visiting and trying to comment. Hopefully it will resolve as the picture thing did.

Tomorrow is my first day holding the fort alone. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm looking forward to it. I hate being bed bound, it drives me insane. It will also give me more time to catch up on everyone and to read up on the news I've missed.

Worried about You

A dear friend of mine is having a bad week. It's hard because this friend lives so very far from me but even the distance cannot stop my heart from aching and worrying for her.

She reads my blog so I just wanted to let her know that:

A. I am thinking of her

B. I hope she is ok

C. I think she is absolutely wonderful and hope she knows just that

If she happens to read this, which I hope she does, I want her to know she is appreciated and loved by someone, even if I am far away.

♥

Erin, You are not Alone

Erin, I too have laundry out the hoo-ha. And as proof I offer my pictures. (I'm guessing here but can you tell this is a household that revolves around children?)

This is the laundry to do after only 2 days. And the washer and dryer are currently full too. Yuck.

Oh! and for a little 'redneck' helpful hint! That long laundry basket in the top photo you see? Well I used that sucker as a bassinet when Annabel was first born. It rocked. I could tote her around and sit her down in safe places away from my other children.

I know, I'm a modern day Martha Stewart, on a budget.

Not Again

I was once hurt pretty badly by someone. A friend I shared so much with and I parted ways. It was tough. Then the friend came back around, I missed the friend so I forgave the hurt. Friend and I started sharing again.

But what do you do when the friend is doing exactly the same thing that hurt you before in the past? Do you just try to brush it off? Or do you cut off the opportunity to be hurt again before it happens?

I'm not doing this again and it's hard. It means I have to be firm in my resolve. I can't think happy thoughts because that will only allow me to be hurt at the end of the day. It's tough but I think the alternative is tougher.

Farewell, Old Friends

4 years ago, Logan told me about this game he wanted for his birthday. The title was familiar, Final Fantasy, but the format was not. He told me he wanted to get a game that allowed people to play online together. The purpose was to meet and do things with people from around the world. Even language wouldn't be a barrier because of an auto-translate function.

He got that game for his birthday. I remember the first night he chose his character model, decided what job he wanted to start out on and his home country. It was all rather confusing to me but after a week of watching I decided I wanted to give it a try too and soon after I purchased the game for my computer.

Thus began my experience with Final Fantasy XI. As with anything there were great things and terrible ones. I met some of the absolute worst of people but also met some of the best friends you could imagine. I've shed tears over this game, have gotten heated over this game and I've had some of the most wonderful moments of my life on this game.

It's been a struggle on when to walk away. All good things must come to an end and this is no different. For a couple of months Jim and I did leave. I was ill with the pregnancy and we canceled our content ID's. A friend managed to lure us back and against our better wisdom, we started to play again. It didn't talk long for things to happen and we were right back where we left off.

But in the weeks past, I've been thinking over hanging up my hat in the world of Vana'diel. I don't love to play as I once did and haven't for a very long time. The friends I returned for have left themselves and the friend who lured us back has different wants/desires and playtimes meaning we don't get to see or talk to him that often.

So I've made the decision to walk into the virtual sunset. It was a great run while it lasted and I can't deny I'm very sad now that the decision has been made. But I know it's the right choice and I know it was time. It's amazing how attached you become to something, something that other people probably can't understand.

My birthday is going to be so bittersweet tomorrow. But I think the timing is perfect, I'm starting the next chapter in my life.

And Another Thing!

An extension from the post directly below, OK!!

If I don't answer the phone the first time around, why in the hell do you call right back??? Can't you get the hint that I'm either not home or am busy with my 4 children?? If the answering machine picks up and you hear my voice say:

"Sorry but we can't come to the phone now, Please leave a message and I WILL get back to you."

Then leave a freaking message!! Garrr!!! *&@#*$&%^@Q# You know I have caller ID right and that I see exactly who keeps calling over and over.

Remember, I also have your number and I might return those calls at say...I don't know...how does 3am sound??

OK!!

Why is it, when I'm on the phone with someone and I tell them I'm busy, they ignore me and instead proceed to engage me in a long, drawn out, conversation?

It always goes down something like this:

"Hello?" I'm wrangling a child down as I answer, changing a diaper.

"Hey!" says person. "What are you doing?"

"Well," I grab for the wipes with one hand, "I'm trying to change *child's name here*."

"Oh, well I just wanted to see how you were, I'm just sitting here, I have blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..........."

"Really," I finally get in, "well I have to *insert random chores or things to be done here* I hoped to nap with the kids and I have to get that done first*"

After this point the person will begin to tell me about someone else, tell me about themselves, tell me about work, tell me about a family member, tell me about anything other than letting me get off the damned phone.

So why is it? I know this doesn't happen to just me. And it drives me batty. I've had moments when I've gotten so fed up I've sat the phone down, changed a diaper or finished my chore, went back to the phone, and the person was still there.

What gives people! If I say I have stuff to do, it doesn't mean I have time to talk with you. Don't keep going hoping you'll catch me with a subject of interest, or that I'll forget the too full sink or laundry waiting to be folded. Just do the right thing and say, "Oh, I'll call you back in a little while then and we can talk".

If you can't do this for me, then please, don't be offended when I begin to curse at you because I couldn't balance the phone on my shoulder and accidentally got shit all over my hand and arm. I don't like being covered in feces, do you?

Consider yourself warned.

Best Friends

Yesterday was my bi-weekly shopping excursion. On the list? A trip to the mall to get Arwen new shoes. I also decided to take her to Claire's for the first time, to allow her to find her own "style" and pick out some hair accessories and the like.

She got a basket and began making selections. She chose pink glasses, pink hair bands, pink crystal butterfly clip-on earrings (which are BEAUTIFUL!) before making her way to the keychains. She grabbed the pair that had Unicorns with worded hearts. One said the word "Best" while the other said "Friend".

"I want this Mommy! Can we get this please?"

I explained that the key chains were best friend ones and how that kind of stuff worked. As I explained this to her my mind drifted back, I remembered a time not so long ago I was with my best friend Kelly, in the same store, buying Best Friend necklaces that interlock together. We each wore the charms proudly around our necks for the world to see. My heart felt a pang of loss, as we don't speak often anymore.

"You can have this side Mom!" she pointed to the purple heart and unicorn. She smiled at me and reached her arms around my waist, giving a quick hug.

After we paid for our things and walked out of the store I reached for her hand. As we walked along together something profound hit me. For all the friends I no longer have, I do have one friend, a best friend. And she will never leave me. I squeezed my best friends hand gently and she gazed up at me and smiled.

I smiled back at my daughter as we rushed to the bungee ride and told myself, "it's so true, just as one door closes, another one opens..."

Happy Birthday Vin Man!

Happy Birthday to my sweet little man. He had a wonderful time. My babies are growing so fast.

Friends after Marriage and Children

You have your group of friends. You do everything together. You meet a guy, date the guy, fall in love with the guy. You stop doing everything with your friends and instead split the time between the two. Your friends are fine with this because they have their own boyfriends. And those who don't have boyfriends might resent you some but they would never say it openly.

Then that guy becomes "the guy". You get married, settle down and decide to start a family. During the pregnancy your friends organize a baby shower. You're happy and content. Then the big day comes and baby arrives. Your friends visit you in the hospital and you go home after. Thus begins the transition into Mommydom.

But then, it happens. You are invited to a girls night out but you have to decline, the baby is sick. Then you are asked to a shopping spree with the girls. Trouble is you're saving for Christmas and you know they will expect to eat out. So you tell them you can go but have to leave after the shopping is done. You go and they push you to go eat, you need to "catch up". You explain money is tight and you simply cannot but thank them and go home. Then a few weeks later you and the hubs have plans for a dinner out. Your friends call a few days before and ask you out and you explain you have a date with the husband.

Then the calls slowly or completely stop.

Now, you're the guy. You're a bachelor and as a gesture of kindness allow two of your friends to live in your home. They pay a portion of the bills. You host parties for your crew every weekend and since you have the best paying job, you pay for everything. You and your friends stay up all night long to play video games together. Then one day you go to a movie with those friends and bump into a girl you used to know.

You call the girl, start dating the girl. You tell you friends to expect change because you are falling in love and are going to propose. Your friends tell you not to do it, to think it over but you have made up your mind. You propose, girl says yes.

Friends have to move out and don't like it one bit. Then you and girl marry and start your family. Friends become more annoyed, no longer do you pay for parties every weekend and you don't host overnight video game playing sprees. They can't talk you into leaving the house late at night to go out. Friends become spiteful. They begin signing you up online for offers, using your address but names such as "I hope she is worth it" and "Pussy Whipped". The wife checks the mail daily and confronts the friends who deny doing such a thing.

Then as a husband and a wife, these things begin to cause tension. The wife is upset her friends are gone and she has no one to girl chat with. Or she needs to vent about the husband but she can't exactly vent about him to him. And mostly she is angry at his friends and his failure to totally call them out on what they are doing. The husband on the other hand needs a break too, for some guy time. But his friends have upset his wife so badly she says they are no longer welcome in the home and truthfully he isn't even sure if he wants to be friends anymore.

When it's all said and done, it is just you and your spouse. Some of the friendships continue but only in the form of going out once in a blue moon to lunch or random phone calls. Otherwise it's just you and her and your children. You fall into a habit and the times you leave the house are always spent together.

Does this sound familiar to any of you? I'm sure certain details might be different but overall? I've been thinking about how friendships change after someone gets married or starts having children. I can attest to the fact that many friends move along as soon as they realize you're lifestyle and value systems have changed.

So tell me, is it just me? Or has this happened to you? Did alot of your friendships come to an end once you married? How about your husbands? or your wives?

Today

Today I read an This entry by Will's Dad. I instantly felt ashamed for my rant about something as non-important as nail polish. I then had to remind myself it is only human to vent. But in an effort to move on and pass his wonderful message forward, I'm blogging again while the boys nap.

During the holidays some families have a set routine and gathering, others don't. I'll be honest, I've never much put thought into just how much you should cherish each gathering with your loved ones. I've always thought I'd just see that person next year, isn't that the normal way of thinking for most?

But families that have family members with terminal illnesses don't have this luxury. Each day is precious. Each holiday might be the last one celebrated in their presence. These families truly appreciate just how sacred time shared with your loved ones is.

On this Thanksgiving, I'd like to ask that each of you enjoy your family. Spread kisses and hugs and words of love to them and make sure they know just how much having this day with them means. Take it all in, absorb the memories into your mind and heart.

Remember, tomorrow is never promised.

Mom 101

A few things to share with other Moms

~~~~~~

Mom Health 101

You can sustain yourself on as little as 1-2 hours of sleep per night. Just don't extend past a week or you'll begin to hallucinate.

If you want to eat a hot meal, munch and test the food while cooking. Otherwise you're sure to eat cold food after your family is finished.

Set aside 15 minutes per day for YOU. And this doesn’t include any naps you may take.

A tablespoon of peanut butter will give you energy. Eat a spoonful on those days when you’re just busy busy busy.

Helpful Hints 101

You can remove alot of stuff with fingernail polish remover, even permanent marker if you spot it in time (this won't work for cloth surfaces I'm sad to say).

A steaming bathroom caused by a hot shower is just as good as a cough medicine for a coughing child.

Purchase two calendars. One for the wall and one for the desk, table or wherever. Get into the habit of checking each week ahead of time. This will keep you on track for appointments and things you need to get done.

If you have an appointment and no time to iron that shirt of yours or pants, bring it into the bathroom with you when you shower. The steam will help remove some of the wrinkles if not all of them.

Cleaning 101

Save those plastic grocery bags, they come in very handy when you have a stinky beyond reason poopie diaper.

Wet wipes can clean so much. I purchase the generic bulk box and keep them in a labeled box for spills and the like. I use the more expensive brand for delicate bottoms.

Purchase fleece blankets and use them to cover the couch cushions. These are easily removeable, come in many colors and keep your couch from getting sticky and dirty. Your couch will last longer and this will save you from purchasing a new one each year.

Knock a candle over and get wax on your carpet? No problem. Let the wax dry and get your iron and a towel. Cut away away excess wax on the top that is loose. Place the towel on top of the wax, iron over the top for a minute. Lift the towel and no more wax in the carpet.

Do laundry daily. As much as it sucks it prevents the 'pile-up' from occurring. You do not want to deal with the 'pile-up', trust me on this one.

Shout liquid gel is your best friend. Always keep it on hand. And for the love of god, do not dry a stained piece of clothing, ever. Drying a stain = setting it into the cloth, FOREVER.

You can wash tennis shoes in the washer and tumble dry them, I do this all the time. To help regulate the BOOM, BOOM, insert a towel into the dryer along with the shoes.

Mr. Clean pads are my favorite thing in the world for cleaning. They do it ALL. Test one out on your bathtub sometime, AWESOME I tell you.

For those terrible, soap scum showers. Purchase Lysol scrubbing bubbles and a bristle toilet brush. Allow the bubbles to sit for 5 minutes then scrub with the brush. You will be amazed at home much easier cleaning your shower is, and you don't have to get your hands dirty.

You can bleach the plastic clear shower curtain to remove grime. Just put the curtain into your washer, add bleach, wash on delicate and air dry. Wah-La, like new curtain and zero moola spent.

Change the sheets on all the beds each week. There really are bed bugs. Dry your pillows (if not down) in the dryer for 10 minutes on high heat to kill off any pests. I also recommend washing comforters every other week.

Shopping 101

Vaseline works better than any desitin, diaper rash product and it's cheaper and easier to apply. And don't purchase the "Baby" Vaseline products versus the regular, if you check the ingredients they are the exact same thing but the smaller "baby" version costs on average 50-75 cents more.

Generic Tylenol and Motrin are just as good as the name brand.Generic foods, are not as good as the name brands (in many cases).

Grocery lists will help you save money. Sit and write the household items you need and then decide what meals you will cook, purchase in bulk and stick to the list.

Coupons are smart and thrifty, they are not stupid and cheap.

Go shopping early in the week and hit up the meat section for great deals. Remember the expiration date is the time something should be eaten or frozen by. Purchase and freeze and save a bundle. Buying in bulk and freezing will also save you cash.

The Dollar General, Big Lots, Freds and the Dollar Store have some great deals. If you haven't shopped there before, please do.

Ebay has a lot of bargains. Consider making purchases from there. I save a ton on my favorite hobby (reading) by making purchases there and from half.com.

Cooking 101

You don’t have to be a great cook or love cooking to do it. Invest in a crock pot, large pan and a fry daddy. Those three things will save you on the days you just don’t feel like a lot of effort.

You can find many recipes online for free. Just do a search, allrecipes.com is one of my personal favorites.

Buy frozen vegetables versus canned for most of your cooking needs. The frozen have less sodium, more vitamins and cost less on average. You can also purchase frozen in bulk.

Keep pasta on-hand. Pasta fills you up, is easy to prepare and is inexpensive.

If you must have cola’s, try different generic brands. There are decent ones out there and again, it will save you money.

If you give your children juice, add a little water to it. Juice is very concentrated and full of calories.

If your child absolutely will not drink water, try crystal light or make Kool-Aid.

~~~~~~

I’m not sure if any of these will help and there are things I’m not thinking of off the top of my head. Do you have Mom 101’s to share?

Perfect Mom

Yesterday I received a phone call from an old friend. She needed to ask a question and during our conversation she relayed to me a talk she had with another mutual friend of ours. It appears the two of them were discussing me and how many children I have and how different I was from the girl in high school.

During high school me, Tanya, Sabrina, Melissa and Teresa were inseparable. We all got to know one another very well, I'd say at the time we knew each other better than our parents or families did.

Tanya said that she and Sabrina always saw me as having one child, or maybe two but never more. She said they both recalled how "picky and neat, organized and perfect" I used to be.

"You were so perfect, but I guess that's a good thing since your child is autistic, you can give him that structure." She hesitated before adding. "We both think you're a wonderful Mom, you're more patient that we ever could be, that is what we were saying."

This kind of thing isn't new. I've been told this before from others. Usually when they find out I have 4 children, 1 being special needs. I'm not sure if this is said in an effort to make me feel good but it is very strange how often I've been told these exact words.

I assure you, I am not perfect and being told so makes me very uncomfortable. Achieving perfection and living up to it after is a very difficult thing.

The truth is, I'm just a woman, who happens to be a Mother, who does the best she can. But I have bad days. There are days I have to drag out of the bed or walk into another room when patience is short. I have nights when I prepare pizza for dinner and give my children too much sugar before bedtime. I make mistakes each day and learn from them.

I work daily on being a Mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law. I make an effort each day to help my children become the most they can be. I maintain my home (and I don't just mean chores) because home is where the heart is.

But I'm not perfect, never perfect, you give me far too much credit. We all have faults, some are just harder to see. Especially from those who do not live the life of a person with them day to day.

So thank you for the kindness and the honor you bestow upon me. I'm glad you think well of me and the kind of Mother I am to my children. I promise I will do my best to live up to being a "great" Mom but I never want to be a "perfect" one.

The Message

I actually witnessed this myself. Not so much a ghost story per say but still amazing none the less.

The Message

He was only 45 when he died. A husband, father, grandfather and friend. He never made it out of surgery to repair his heart. His family was devastated.

The funeral was heart breaking. He left behind two sons and three grandsons. His wife sat to the far right end of the viewing room, constantly surrounded by some person or another. Each paying their respect to her and offering condolences for this loving man, gone too soon.

That night, Belle (his widow) commented that she missed him so much, she only wished she could see him one more time to tell him she loved him. The next day she dressed to say goodbye one last time to the love of her life.

After the funeral, she arrived home with her sons, grandsons, and a few other family members. As everyone climbed out of the car, Belle walked toward the front lawn. A balloon was tangled in her flower bed. She pulled the balloon free and looked down at it.

She began to cry and dropped to the ground. Everyone rushed to her side, her sons trying to lift her to her feet. But she pushed everyone off and motioned toward the balloon in her hands. Like most helium balloons the back was silver and the front was a mixture of green flowers. Written in cursive writing were three words.

I Miss You.