Perfect Mom

Yesterday I received a phone call from an old friend. She needed to ask a question and during our conversation she relayed to me a talk she had with another mutual friend of ours. It appears the two of them were discussing me and how many children I have and how different I was from the girl in high school.

During high school me, Tanya, Sabrina, Melissa and Teresa were inseparable. We all got to know one another very well, I'd say at the time we knew each other better than our parents or families did.

Tanya said that she and Sabrina always saw me as having one child, or maybe two but never more. She said they both recalled how "picky and neat, organized and perfect" I used to be.

"You were so perfect, but I guess that's a good thing since your child is autistic, you can give him that structure." She hesitated before adding. "We both think you're a wonderful Mom, you're more patient that we ever could be, that is what we were saying."

This kind of thing isn't new. I've been told this before from others. Usually when they find out I have 4 children, 1 being special needs. I'm not sure if this is said in an effort to make me feel good but it is very strange how often I've been told these exact words.

I assure you, I am not perfect and being told so makes me very uncomfortable. Achieving perfection and living up to it after is a very difficult thing.

The truth is, I'm just a woman, who happens to be a Mother, who does the best she can. But I have bad days. There are days I have to drag out of the bed or walk into another room when patience is short. I have nights when I prepare pizza for dinner and give my children too much sugar before bedtime. I make mistakes each day and learn from them.

I work daily on being a Mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law. I make an effort each day to help my children become the most they can be. I maintain my home (and I don't just mean chores) because home is where the heart is.

But I'm not perfect, never perfect, you give me far too much credit. We all have faults, some are just harder to see. Especially from those who do not live the life of a person with them day to day.

So thank you for the kindness and the honor you bestow upon me. I'm glad you think well of me and the kind of Mother I am to my children. I promise I will do my best to live up to being a "great" Mom but I never want to be a "perfect" one.