Perspective

Keeping it all in focus is easy. I just go visit Mashed Potatoes for breakfast.

Quote from a Hero

I'm currently reading Superhero: A biography of Christopher Reeve. There is a quote from him that touched me. I wanted to share it. It speaks volumes.

"The key to being a good father is never to think you own your child-you don't."

He then goes on to add, "Why, Matthew is a real person. He's just short." (Matthew being his oldest child)

Just for this Morning

I visit alot of blogs. Some of my favorites tell of the battles of children fighting Neuroblastoma. Reading about these inspirational children and their families sometimes moves me to tears but more importantly they help me realize how lucky I am and to be thankful.

Thinking about this I've decided to share a poem I have on my fridge. I've had it up for a few years now and when it gets tattered I print out a new copy and put it up. I see this each and everyday to remind me to cherish each and everyday.

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to
Smile when I see your face and laugh
When I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
Choose what you want to wear,
And smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
Over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
The park to play.

Just for this morning,
I will leave the
Dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
That puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
The telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
You in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once,
Not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
cry for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
If he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won’t worry
About what you are going to be when you grow up, or
Second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
Help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you
Trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
To McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
Have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
My arms and tell you a story about how you were
Born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you
Splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you
Stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
Beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
Finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
Grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
Fathers who are searching for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s
Graves instead of their bedrooms.
The mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms
Watching their children suffer senselessly.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
You a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then,
That I will thank God for you, and ask him for
Nothing, except one more day………….

The face of autism

Another face of autism and what a beautiful face it is.

The link posted at the end of the video no longer works. If you suspect your child or someone else's might be autistic and you need help, please go to www.helpautismnow.com.

Grateful

I saw this while shopping in Hell-Mart yesterday. I quickly grabbed a copy and brought it home to read.

Jenny and Evan do not share an identical story with myself and Logan, yet I could feel my heart aching for her and knew exactly how she felt at times. I know how devastating it is when your child stops being affectionate, becomes withdrawn and stops engaging with the family. I remember watching the early warning signs of stacking objects next to one another. In fact I can share a story.

~~~

One morning I had just taken Logan downstairs. Vincent was still just a baby so I placed him in his bassinet and went to prepare a drink for Logan. I came upstairs, made the drink, used the restroom and walked back down to the playroom. As I unlocked the gate and turned around I gasped at the sight before me.

Logan was sitting on the ground, looking at the toys (in this case, riding toys and huge trucks) he had placed in a perfectly straight line. The trucks reached from one wall to the next. They made an assembly line across the floor, like a man made traffic jam. An eerie feeling came over me at that point. I stared for a long time before Vincent's cry brought me back to reality. This was before Logan was diagnosed.

~~~

A lot has happened since we were told "we think Logan has autism". Jim and I have dealt with many things and I'm so grateful our marriage is strong as is our love. Otherwise who knows where we'd be, or even if we'd still have our family together. I couldn't imagine going it alone. You need someone to share your inner fear and doubts with.

Bravo to Jenny for sharing her son and his autism with the world. We need a face placed with the word "Autism" and I think his is a beautiful one that will hopefully shock the world into acceptance and action. The article is very good, with excerpts from her book. I plan on purchasing the book and will let you know how it is.

Nathan Michael Gentry

Please consider making a donation to help cure childhood cancer.

A Worthy Cause

September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month, please consider making a donation that will go toward helping these brave children who need it most. Also, please make an educated decision on where your hard earned money will go.

Head on over to Will's Page to find out more about how money is divided up. It's not exactly what you think when you make a donation. That is why I donate to ThemagicwaterProject. Take a look and see if perhaps you'd like to help out.

If this were your child, wouldn't you hope people would reach out and help? I know I would.

Paying it Forward

When Logan was initially screened by early intervention, I was scheduled 1 time to per week to have someone come to our home to work on his speech. His speech therapist is named Lisa and we parted ways last year with a sweet card and a good luck.
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Then when Vincent started to display similar delays (in regard to speech) I again contacted early intervention and the same therapy was offered to him. I was happily surprised to find out Lisa would be Vincent's care taker as well.
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During that time, I was struggling with sickness from my hyperthyroidism, gestational diabetes and gallstones. I was a wreck and Lisa would show up to my home and I know I looked it. The children would be acting crazy and the house was pretty much in chaos. So one day she told me she wanted to talk to me. She sat the children down and focused their attention on ice cream. Afterward she offered me a shoulder to cry on and told me it was going to be ok. She really made a huge difference in how I felt about myself in a difficult time in my life. I've never forgotten it.
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Today she came over and we walked downstairs. She was working with Vincent when I made a comment about her nail polish. She told me she had it done last week and needed it redone. So I came into my office and dug through my extensive stash. I pulled out a few here and there for her and told her if she liked them she could have them.

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I was surprised when she smiled and told me, "Jaime, I've had a really bad day today and was in a bad mood. I'm so glad I came over." I smiled back and felt happiness wash over me that I could help her day be a bit better. Even if only a little.
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She then explained some of the things happening in her sons life. He too is special needs and she faces some difficult issues with his school tomorrow. I could tell she was still upset so I pulled out my nail polish inventory and told her to pick out whatever she wanted. At first she hesitated "do you wear this one alot?" and I would tell her "sweetie, pick whatever you like."
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When she was set to go after Vincent's appointment and our talk I walked her to the door and gave her a huge hug. I told her to call me if she ever needed me. She walked out the door, toward her car, with several bottles of polish in hand.
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I don't get the opportunity to make anyone's day better often and I have to say it felt really good. I hope the rest of her day is a happy one.

Nathan and Susan

When I began this blog I was at a very emotional point in my life. I'd just found out I was pregnant again and was unsure of how to feel. Then very quickly that worry turned to despair when I found out something might be wrong with the baby. After that I had to worry about my own health and it was one of the most difficult times in my life.

During that time, I came across a blog. The description lured me in "a SAHM of 3 and nurse to my 6 year old cancer kid". I began reading Susan's blog faithfully after. http://suzeo99.blogspot.com/

It is somehow so wrong that something like this can bring a person out of their own funk and self doubt. After reading each new blog I kept pushing forward in my own life. Determined that if Nathan could do it, then so could I. If his Mom could keep their family together in spite of everything then I would too. But something more occurred during my reading of each new blog as well. I became attached to this little boy and his family that I've never met, so much so that I began to talk to my extended family daily about them and their struggle.

I will always recall vividly, the morning I came down to my computer with Annabel and found out Nathan had passed. I always go to Susan's blog first thing when I get on and I saw it and began to weep. My husband heard me and came to see what was wrong and his face dropped when he looked on the screen and saw the cause of my sorrow.

This little boy has touched so many and his Mom was so strong she openly shared him and her family during his battle. That takes alot of courage and love. Thank you Susan, your strength allows those like myself to keep going forward. You've touched more lives than I think you realize.