Crazy in Alabama

First, the news story that inspired the entry HERE. Preacher's wife found dead in freezer, never reported missing, body has been there 3 years.

I know sickos roam all across the USA but we have our share here. This story reminded me of something that happened years ago when I was just a child.

One day we'd went yard selling, pulling through the back of the trailer park. I was in my Momaw's maroon Chrysler and we rounded the hill when I saw the police, ambulance crews and cadaver dogs. Back then the news crews weren't tipped off early on so they hadn't arrived.

As we drove by, my child's mind thought it saw an arm leaned against a tree, near the ground. Of course, I told myself it wasn't what I thought it was and we drove by to Momaw's house.

I would discover later it was indeed an arm I saw as the man who lived in the house with his wife and children got pissed, killed her in the trailer and then cut her up, burying her under the new porch and then painted the sucker red to cover the stains. She was reported missing by him - he claimed she had skipped town and the smell (and obvious freshly painted porch) led police to her body.

Crazies in Alabama - the not so nice place to live when your husband is a psycho.

It's a Nader!

If there is one thing you can count on living in the south, it's Tornado season (aka Nader season). I have vivid memories of being waken from a deep slumber by my panicked Mom shouting at me to "GET UP" because we had to "GET TO THE STORM SHELTER". I hated the weather, especially on a tornado warning school night.

This morning when I got up it was like any other. The temperature outside was muggy but I didn't think too much about it. After the kids were off to school I got into the shower and hurried to the doctor. As I arrived I was told the weather was "taking a bad turn" which in Redneckville means "prepare to batton down the hatches, nader weather is fast approachin'". So I decided after my appointment to pick Logan up at Vincent's pick up time as well.

As I was driving the news came over the radio. All schools, both county (the boys) and city (Arwen's) were dismissing early. This meant I got to call and ask my Mom (please read plead and beg) to pick her up for me. After I had the boys I met up with Mom who was so kind to pick up lunch at Zaxby's (I owe you Mom, big time) so the ride home was rather peaceful.

I wish I could say the rest of my afternoon has been equally tranquil but I'd be lying through my teeth. My children, being forced into the cramped quarters that is the playroom, have been at one another since. I've been considering barricading myself into the office until Jimbo arrives home to make it through the day with a touch of sanity and control left.

And while I hate the weather it's made so much worse by one person...my local weather man. The bastard. Why do you get such a perverse pleasure from scaring the absolute shit out of folks guy? Each time we go into a watch/warning you begin to salivate and a light glows from the television out of your beady eyes. It's not very nice to all but scream at your viewing audience...

"IT'S AT YOU!! TAKE SHELTER NOW!!"

Seriously dude, is this the reason they stopped doing that little "giveaway" each time you were 3 degrees off of a daily high or low temperature? If you determine the giveaway weather anything like you do potential tornado's they must fork out some serious coffee mugs. Do the world a favor, either take some Zanax or learn to tone it down. Someone can't die of a tornado if they're already dead from a nasty tumble down the stairs because you've sent them into a frenzy.

Welp, gotta go, it's "almost here" again. If you don't hear from me, a nader' got us.

8 teens charged with beating 16 year old

I don't know how I missed THIS STORY. I was browsing my favorite 'guilty pleasure', Youtube, when I came across a VLOG about it.

The back story. The 16 year old female victim had been arguing and fighting with the girls on Myspace (the usual teenage drama, calling names, saying so and so is sleeping with so and so). The girls devised a plan to fight the girl and upload it afterward onto Youtube (I guessed they missed the memo that only idiots record crimes to share online). They lured her into a home under false pretenses and once inside proceeded to beat the hell out of her. At one point she was knocked unconscious and when she came to and tried to stand they started beating her again.

The thing that struck me, after I got past the shock of the sheer violence and homicidal nature of the teens who did the beating, was the response from a parent of one of the girls (Christina Garcia is the parents name). She appeared on the Today show to defend her daughter and said of the beating and of the victim:

"Don't waste your time on Myspace going back and forth talking, saying all these nasty things about people. I don't see why she would do that if she didn't have the nerve to back up what she was saying."

She also claimed on a radio show since her daughter didn't actually touch the victim and you couldn't even see her on the tape that she shouldn't be charged with any crime. She said the only thing her daughter did wrong was "not calling the police". She also likens the crime to a fight in the hallways of high school where all the people "crowding around to watch are accessories" and says it's no different and because of that her daughter should only be charged as an accessory.

This woman should NEVER have been allowed to procreate. I guess the phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me" wasn't spoken inside her home. Parents like this make me sick. I know they are out there too. Don't just accept your child was in the wrong and say "I'm sorry". Instead say why someone else is at fault.

I seriously hope these girls are put in jail, charged as adults, with a maximum sentence. I don't care if they didn't actually even touch the girl. All of them played a part. This was premeditated so they knew what was coming, they could have made the choice to be somewhere else at the time this took place.

What does everyone else think about this? Have you heard about this in the news?

What a Meth House looks like...

So, this is the meth house I told you about in an entry a while back. Just click on it to see inside the tiny circle I drew. That would be a chemical waste warning on the door. There was one on the window but it has since been removed.

Makes.Me.Sick.

I should be getting dressed right now but I'm so angry I had to write an entry. THIS happened not too far away from here and I wish I could fly over to this jail, walk the guy out of his cell, and drop him in the ocean in the middle of nowhere to tread water. Better yet, I'd weigh him down so that he would feel how terrible it is to hit water and sink and drown, much like a child would.

What is wrong with people?? I don't understand how people hurt children, I just don't. Here were are, a nation caring more for the welfare and humanity displayed to those who commit such heinous crimes. Have you read the numerous articles in favor of banning lethal injection because it is "cruel and unusual" punishment? Excuse me? Why should it be painless in circumstances like this one? This dumb shit lost his temper and killed his children in a fit of rage. Why do you care about his feelings, what about the horror and fear those children experienced in their last moments of life.

I remember vividly falling into the lake when I was 7 years old. I had a broken arm and it was in a cast. I reached over to run my finger across the water and fell in. I was terrified, I couldn't swim and pushed toward the surface of the water. I couldn't even see as the water was dark, the only light came from above me, glittering from the light of the sun. My Mother jumped in and pulled me out. I remember the terror and crying and clutching her.

I've been scared of water ever since.

I could cry reading this stuff. And the worst part? There will be another story equally bad like this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. And following it will be another story about capital punishments and "rights" of those who commit such atrocious acts.

It makes me sick.

Brush your Teeth

Alright, the time has come. I'm going to do an entry on teeth.

First I have to ask, when did people stop brushing? Each time I make it out of my home I will bump into at least one person either,

A. Missing Teeth
B. With rotten teeth
C. With gold/silver/etc on their teeth.

I just don't understand it. I realize cavities are going to happen. But didn't you notice some problems prior to your entire front row of teeth being rotten? I'm pretty sure you didn't just wake up one day and Ka-BOOM! Teeth that look like total ass.

What's worse are the parents with children who have rotten teeth. I've seen this too. A parent should be ashamed if their toddler has two front teeth that are totally brown and rotted. I realize from Arwen that antibiotics in early infancy can discolor new baby teeth but there is a huge difference in a discoloration and rot.

Most of the problems stem from idiotic parents in my area. When I used to wait tables I would see Moms and Dads come in all the time, toddler in tow. When I'd ask if I could get some milk for the baby they'd often request coke because it was free (for refill) versus the milk. I wanted to strangle those parents and if I had the extra cash on me I'd sometimes buy the milk myself.
Then there are parents that allow their children to suck on candy all day long, that'll do it right there.

True story, I was in Hell-Mart once and their was a very overweight child with his Mother (who was also a bit heavy). Now, anyone who's been to their own little nook of hell knows they try to trap you with products all along the cashier register. This young man knew what he was doing. I watched as he grabbed Snickers bars, Twix, Skittles, Nerds and assorted candies from the boxes. His Mom turned around.

"What you doing?" she asked him. She was still placing her groceries on the belt.

"You said I could get something if I was good this week and I was good."

"I said that but I thought you'd get a toy."

"I want this for my surprise."

She stopped for a second and sighed. I was waiting, expecting her to tell him to pick one thing and to put the rest back.

"A'ight...grab me a Zero bar."

My mouth nearly dropped to the floor. The boy kept going and threw a small sugar treasure on the belt. I can only imagine the calories and sugar but not to be outdone, he also snagged Mountain Dew from the freezer in front of us.

The there are the true class in my area. The drug abusers and drunks. It's become a small crisis. When I shot pool on an APA league I would get accosted nightly by drunken players with one rotten tooth sticking from red, diseased looking gums. They'd smile and lean forward, hand reaching to shake. It made my skin crawl at times. There is nothing so attractive as man with a cig hanging from his lip, drink in his hand and when he smiles two teeth are all you see.

Nasty.

So I'd like to ask everyone to spread the message. Tell the world it's time to start brushing their teeth already. If not the next time I blog about this I'll include a picture of meth mouth. Yikes!

Champagne Wishes & Trailer Park Dreams

Today I was thinking about my childhood and then Jolene Sugarbaker, the trailer park Queen.

I lived in a park for many years. Mom and Dad were struggling to make ends meet and forge a career for themselves (which they both have, they recently built their own house, which is totally paid for, GO Mom and Dad!).

I have zero regrets and I remember a happy childhood. But today I was thinking of the funny things about trailer parks and wanted to share just a few that popped into mind.

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Dumpster divers aka garbage diggers aka trash hounds. They will dig through your trash but usually are discreet and only do so if you place what might be considered "treasure" to them. Placing any large piece of furniture outside near the trash can and will illicit a visit.

There is always, without fail, a cat woman aka "The Cat Lady". This woman will horde all the stray cats she can get her hands on. These cats live both outside and inside her home. You can always tell when you near such a home because the porch, front yard, or car will be covered in lounging cats.

There is always, without fail, a dog person aka "The Mountain Woman". This person hordes dogs but not to the extent of the Cat Lady. She is generally more burley in stature and sports plaid flannel shirts.

Usually she has 4-8 smaller dogs inside and 4-8 large german shepard mixes outside. Some of the outside dogs will be chained to stakes in the ground, near doghouses. You can tell when you are near her home (if the dogs barking widly doesn't tip you off first) when you see a fenced in trailer but the dogs are chained inside the fence. The chain is for safety as these dogs are usually "biters" and she's been threatened or sued before.

You will always see at least one car on concrete blocks on the road. Most of these cars will sit for months like this. The "wash me please!" written in children's handwriting on the bumper or back windshield attest to this truth.

If you live in a trailer park, at some point, you will be asked for sugar, eggs, bread, ketchup or any other such items. It's called communal living.

There is always a gossip queen. She can tell you who is having affairs, who is on welfare and who is pregnant again. She's kind of hard to pinpoint at first but after she's stabbed you in the back you'll never forget her.

There is always the thieving child. We had several where I grew up. They will steal dolls, cars, bikes, you name it. And the worst part? They deny stealing it, even if your name is clearly marked over with permanent marker.

You will always see some, if not all children, sporting some sort of mullet. And if they don't have a mullet they did have one at some point prior.

They might not have a will or a retirement savings. But you can bet their double-wide, they have a tornado escape/safety route planned.

There is also "true trash". These are the people that really give trailer park living a bad name. They do stupid things like:

Put garbage atop their trailers because they "couldn't afford the trash bill".

Secretly hook their water hose to your faucet outdoors so they can avoid paying the water bill to wash their hooptie ride.

Have a path of junk and trash that forms a path to their doorstep and a sign on the door that reads, "Screw the dog, beware of owner!" with a picture of a very large handgun.

Have added onto their home with plywood or better yet, have made a porch with all the spare wood and plywood they could find, thus upping their trashiness level.

Keep all cars, even if they don't run. These are the people that also love to chain their dogs up to the tires and then say "the dog's fine, it can crawl under that there car."

And lastly, the one cardinal rule for the true trailer park trash lifestyle. . .

You absolutely have to steal your cable. I can't tell you how many times our cable box got checked because someone had tapped into our line.

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I'll also add, just for clarification. There are actually clean and decent trailer parks and really really slummy ones. I should drive to a few and take some pictures. Redneckville is a haven of the trailer park lifestyle, both good and bad!

What is wrong with people??

I'll try to keep this PG-13 but it's going to be hard. So please, if foul language is a turn off, don't read on. If you don't mind, please continue. I'm sure that more than one of you will sympathize with what I'm about to blog.

When did people become so damned entitled? When did they become so much more important that others around them? I'm so sick of trying so hard to be respectful (as I was raised to be) only to be surrounded by others who are so rude and arrogant.

Just the other night, Halloween to be exact, we had the kids out. Arwen needed to use the restroom so she and I hurried back to her Meme's. As we arrive there are children at the stairs. I make Arwen wait instead of pushing through the children and SMACK! One of the kids, a little boy that is maybe 2 or 3 years old, slaps the piss out of my daughter.

Arwen grabs her arm and immediately looks to me. I glare at the child and one of the adults grabs him by the arm.

"Say you sorry!" the woman yells.

The boy stands there glaring. He shakes his head. She wraps her arms around him and stands over him.

"I said say you sorry or you gonna get a whoopin'! Say it right now and you won't be in too much trouble."

The boy stands and refuses to apologize to my daughter. The woman looks at me as I glare and offers a half-assed apology. "I's sorry." and walks away with her demon spawn. She never spanked him. The other woman with her and the two other children ask, "what did he do??" and I hear the woman mumble, "he hit that girl standin' there."

As I walked into the house I praised Arwen for being so respectful and told her how wrong that boy and his Mom are. She was confused and asked why he was allowed to do that and I told her because his Mother wasn't raising him properly.

Then this past Friday. We go to the movies after dinner on our anniversary. The movie is 30 days of Night and it's supposed to be dark. Someone should tell that to the couple who texted on their blackberry the entire time. They kept that phone on and open almost the entire movie. Totally disrespectful to those around them.

I wanted to go up and say something and each time I went to do so Jimbo would give me his puppy eyes, begging me not to. He knows how I am and he wanted to enjoy our night. I kept my seat but it was hard.

So what the hell is wrong with people? When did parents stop teaching the simple things? Like manners for instance? When did people start functioning under the assumption that it is their world and everyone else is just living in it?

This makes me wonder about parents today. That woman allowed her child to hit my daughter. Arwen did nothing to that boy. He just walked up and hit the shit out of her. I even heard one of them say as they walked away, laughing too I might add, "I guess he thought it was Karla."

If I weren't in the presence of my daughter I'd have slapped the shit out of those women. I'm trying to raise the future generation here but it's hard to do that well when you are surrounded by assholes. I'm just glad it wasn't Logan with me. If that boy had struck him I wouldn't have been able to contain myself and I'm certain a fight would have broken out. I'd like nothing better than to show those women how it feels to be beaten up on and see how they like it.

Take a number and get in line. I plan on taking my time.

People today, I just don't get it. And what's worse? I hope I'm doing right as a Mom to my children. I want them to be respectful of others but I don't want them being walked on by these rude children they are growing up with.

Maybe it's the rednecks and trash here. I have to admit we are surrounded by those living in poverty, in the projects and cheap mobile homes. Funny thing though. They can't afford rent but they can afford to drive a new car, while carrying around designer imposter purses and blackberry phones, with their nails and hair did.

I guess if I had the government supporting me I could "live large" too. I guess that little thing called "self respect" is holding me back.

Britney's Regret

I hope this is enough to bring her out of whatever it is that continues to hold her in it's grasp. I feel terrible for any Mother who loses her children but I feel equally terrified that she would get behind the wheel of a car with those boys knowing she doesn't have a valid drivers license. I'm not sure what this woman is thinking or smoking.

As I anxiously await another Chris Crocker video in her defense (ok not really) my heart aches for those little boys. They deserve so much better.

Haircut, rubbernecking and a Meth Lab

All the way back in March I got a gift certificate to have my hair cut and colored. I planned to use it before Annabel's arrival but with all things considered, it just didn't happen. In the meantime my hair has gotten way out of hand. For one thing, it's long and I mean long. For another, the color is a bit off. The ends are still dark from the color demi permanent I had last year. But enough about my hair.

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My sitter arrives and I make my way down these farmer Joe back roads I know so well. Rounding the curve and flipping my turn signal, I was shocked to see sheriff and police cars galore. Some were pulled into the driveway of the little white house I see each time I make a trip into town. Others were pulled along the road. I'd say there were maybe 5 cars in all. I managed not to rubberneck (ok I did rubberneck but not THAT bad) and went to my appointment.

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Lo an behold, upon driving back to my home the house was infested with people. We're talking the fire department, sheriffs department, police, news, hemsi, etc. The yard was full and my lane was totally blocked at this point. I slowed down to make my way past and see an SUV oncoming. I stopped and waited to merge into the other lane (after huge SUV made way) and to my amusement it appeared SUV driver is a true rubberneck. When he saw my van waiting he waved me on by as he pulled into the grass. Talk about someone really wanting the "whole" show. But I digress.

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I took a look at the action, slowly accelerated and went about my business. I stored what I had seen in the back of my mind as a reminder to make sure to watch the local news this evening. But when hubs got home I decided to check the news channel online. I figured why not since I'm so tired I might not even make it to 10pm to see it. A few clicks here and there and bada-bing!, pay dirt.

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It appears that two men decided to knock off a radio station and steal some copper. Things went awry when someone busted them in the middle of their copper shopping bonanza and they ran, shooting at this person that interrupted them and then bashing into his vehicle with their own until they made a speedy getaway. Too bad for them a piece of paper flied out the window and led the police straight to a house. A little white house that is located directly down the road from me.

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Police arrive at the home and surprise! they found out what the copper was for. It appears these fine upstanding citizens were producing some crystal meth. Not only that but a child lived in the house. The police sent in back up and the house has been surrounded ever since. (to clarify, I'm not sure if a child was inside the house at the time but there was a sheriffs moving van being loaded up as I drove by.)

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Some things never fail to amaze me. At least the child was saved from a potentially fatal home life. Can you believe it? A meth lab right down the road. I certainly can't.

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And the best part? The reminder that I live in redneckville. The anchorwoman (I call them news ladies) was so classy while giving her report. And I quote:

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"the police say the men who have been hiding in these woods are definately high on drugs, because they were running like they had super powers but not supervision because the deputies I talked with say one of the men almost ran into a tree."

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Only in redneckville folks!