I've known for a few months now this was coming. I'd felt the beginning signs during the last months of my pregnancy with Annabel. I don't know any other stay at home Mothers (or at least any that live nearby that I visit with) but I'm sure that I'm not alone.
I'm talking about the SAHM (stay at home Mom) burn out. Basically this means I'm in a funk. I tired of cleaning, I'm tired of laundry, I'm tired of zero sleep. I'm tired of garbage, I'm tired of toys, I'm tired of eating last every night. I'm tired of Dora, I'm tired of Hot Wheels, I'm tired of barbie. I'm sick of dirty diapers, I'm sick of being overwhelmed, I'm sick of being home alone each and every day.
I realize this is a phase and I will get over it. I also realize there are options (such as playgroups) but I think those would stress me more than benefit. I'm not your average girly girl and the last time I attempted to immerse myself into a Mommy group I didn't like the high school mentality. I gave up gossip and hurting other people to boost my own ego long ago.
So what's a Mom to do? I don't know for sure. There are some days when I feel I might be losing 'me'. You know, that person I was before I became a Mother. I know she is under the surface somewhere but lying dormant, waiting for her moment to come to the top to breathe again.
I'm also attempting to cut myself a bit of slack. After all, I've been in this same house, caring for multiple children, for over 6 years now. That's right. 6 long years of caring for children day in and day out with nary an adult in sight.
I just hope at this point when I'm integrated back into society I retain some of my social skills. I've already noticed I have my own kiddy language. NiNi=Night Night, Poopy da Potty=Go to the toilet, Nummies=Food, Give me a Moo=Kisses. You get my drift.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Burn Out
Posted by Jaime at 6:09 AM
Labels: Life Being a Mom, Personal Posts
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5 comments:
Jaime, I don't have four children, but I certainly know how you feel. With the cold weaher here I am trapped in my own house with my kids. Is there a gym near by you could attend? Some gyms have child minding so you couldhave a peaceful hour to work out and if you decide you want to chat to someone you can and if not you can just work out quietly. My mom is doing that for me for my birthday and I think it might really help. Hang in there sweetie! ***HUGS***
I'm not a sahm but I definitely experience burnout at a different level at times. I go to work, where I don't enjoy my job or the people I work with anymore, I pick up Hailey, go home, clean, make dinner, do laundry, watch Cars for the zillionth time. Throw in there all the appointments and stuff that we always have going on, and I'm way too busy than what I can handle. I get so burned out and sick of it all. Unfortunately I don't get to spend hardly any time with Hailey each day...instead of Mommy burnout I get "life" burnout. I feel like I've lost me...I have no time for myself, I spend all my time working or taking care of other people! I wish I had some answers for you...all I have is sympathy.
Hey Everyone, thank you so much for your comments and support (and hello Nikki! thanks for stopping by to visit).
I'm out of my funk for the most part. I think it was just one of those weeks where I was in overload and needed a break. I know it happens to all women, not just Moms.
maybe it's time for a wee bit of self tlc? even if it;s just a simple thing, like a nice hot bubble bath?
It does indeed happen to all women at some point, regardless of whether we are moms or not. Women are generally thought of (and some think of themselves this way) as the caretakers of the world. It can be overwhelming.
One suggestion for maybe reclaiming some of your own time and yourself...take a night class in something you enjoy such as computers, scrapbooking, etc. Do something just for you that isn't child oriented. You can meet other people and talk with other adults.
In any case, I'm glad you're coming out of your funk and just know you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed and generally sick of doing the same thing day in and day out.
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