Wacky and Magical Wedding

We have a marriage coming up in our family. Great right? If only it weren't so..well..weird!

Jimbo's cousin Jackie is getting married, her guy is named Matt. I'm not too sure about their relationship other than they never were very 'lovey' with one another and I honestly assumed they were just friends with benefits. They just never gave off a 'couple' vibe and I feel strange whenever I'm around them.

When they announced the engagement, I was surprised but didn't give it much thought. But soon I'd have to pay it some attention because I was told they requested Arwen be the flower girl. So for the last few months I've pleaded with my tomboy daughter to consider being the flower girl and each time she says no. Nothing will sway her, so finally I accepted defeat and gave Jimbo's family the news.

That should be all right?

Wrong.

Jackie now is RSVP'ing the wedding. But it's complicated. Matt is a Catholic (and from what I've been told) wants a lavish wedding. Why is beyond me. He is the first man I've ever known to not only want a wedding but also to take a large part in it. So far he has:

Accompanied the brides maids not only to pick but also to have their dresses fitted (ODD!)

Picked the floral decorations.

Picked the colors.

Picked the cake.

He's even accompanied Jackie to find her WEDDING DRESS. Isn't that breaking with tradition? Even a Catholic one??

To compound all of this, Jackie is being converted but as a recent divorcee (I don't get it myself, if you've been married before, why in the hell have this huge wedding?? Some day I'll have to blog about her previous spouse, I'll just say think Shawshank Redemption!) and the church hasn't granted their blessing to have the wedding in the Catholic Church. So they've decided to RSVP the dates but not the venue.

Now, there is no way I'm going to this wedding. I'm not going to drag my children and expect them to sit still during this entire ceremony. I've explained it to my Mother in law who has asked I just not RSVP at all because, "they won't notice you're not there!". Ugggg.

And here is the weirdest thing of all. Matt is a magician (I think it's some sort of strange hobby). He's always coming to family get togethers and the children gather around and he pulls quarters out of their ears (he gives off a total pedophile vibe, Jimbo agrees, we NEVER leave him alone with the kids). So in light of this he has asked a friend to...god I can't believe I'm going to say this...

His friend is going to go around the reception...doing magic tricks for all the guests.

Does this sound like a wedding you'd want to attend? If so you are more than welcome to my RSVP!