Breastfeeding Stigma

I've started and deleted entries about this issue. I'm not sure why exactly. Perhaps it is because I didn't think it was warranted enough, or better yet because I do not like offending other Mother's who choose to raise their children differently than I have my own. But I've decided the time has come to voice my feelings about breastfeeding.

To all you formula feeding Moms out there. I in no way believe you are doing less for your children simply because you do not nurse. I think each person chooses what is best in the long term for themselves. However...

I'm so tired of the negative remarks made toward breastfeeding women. For example, god forbid a nursing Mother mention she is nursing to give her child the best food for them or to give them the best start in life. That is a huge NO NO. Sure it might be true but you run the risk of pissing off other Mothers who have nothing to do with your choice.

I've also heard the way breastfeeding has been twisted into a perverse thing. Some women have actually asked me if it "feels good" or "if it feels like a man sucking on your breast". To these people I responded "you are sick." And they are. No, it doesn't feel sexual or erotic. It feels warm and loving because I am providing nourishment for my child.

If I may, I'd like to tell you what I witnessed this on Thanksgiving. My cousins baby who is two weeks older than Annabel was there. They began asking questions about myself, how I lost all the baby weight and finally about nursing.

"How much does she weigh? How long are you going to do that for? Don't you feed her other food too? Aren't you afraid she isn't getting enough? Do you give her a pacifier? Isn't it embarrassing? Do you feed her in public?" etc etc.

Or

"I could never do that. It feels too weird."

"I tried but she wasn't getting enough."

"It hurt too bad."

"I carried the baby for 9 months, I want my body back."

"He helped me, he can get out of bed to help feed the baby. It's not my job!"

"I tried but the first time she latched on I did this," holds arms as far away from her as possible while mimicking holding her baby. "I said get me a bottle NOW."

As I heard these things I was polite. And I kept my mouth shut. I knew that if I said anything the tables would suddenly be reversed. I've been there before. Had I said anything positive about nursing, other than the questions directed to me, someone was liable to get offended. I did however answer how much Annabel weighs and got, "wow!" due to the fact that while nursed, Annabel outweighed their own daughter (who is two weeks older). They did everything short of calling me a liar. Even going so far as to say, "are you sure? she looks smaller than Kaylia!"

Then it was time to feed our babies. I retreated to a quiet room alone while she went into the living room. When we finished I returned to the group and we sat talking. Around 15 minutes later her baby became very fussy. Immediately she pulled the bottle back out and started shoving it at the baby. The baby cried harder and rotated between shoving the bottle away and taking it. I watched on as the baby began wailing and screaming. I noticed spit up dribbling down her tiny chin. After a few more minutes I couldn't stand it any longer and handed Annabel to Jim.

"May I please? I promise if I can't calm her I will hand her back." I reached out my hands, hoping she would give me the chance to try and comfort the baby.

She graciously handed her to me and I began firmly burping her while also holding her tight to my chest. She was still spitting up (I have a huge stain on my shirt to prove it) and finally a large "BUUUURRRP" escaped from her mouth. The milk smelled sour, so I was pretty sure it was older milk, possibly. Still even after the burp she only calmed for a short time and returned to screaming.

I'll have you know that baby cried for over 45 minutes, only stopping from time to time. They had her dressed in a satin/silk dress with stockings. I asked if they had a nice comfie cotton jammie to place her in. I was certain the tight hose were uncomfortable. When they said they didn't I offered them the one I'd packed as an extra for Annabel. Initially they accepted but when I went into the living room a few minutes later the outfit still sat. They decided against it because "she seems calmer now." I felt so badly for the baby but picked up the soft piece of clothing and put it away.

When we left Jimbo turned to me and said, "I'm so glad you decided to nurse all of our children, that poor baby broke my heart."

I nodded and said I wasn't sure but I thought it was the formula causing an upset tummy and Jimbo confirmed this. Apparently he overheard my cousin and his wife talking about the newest formula they were trying her on. The poor thing is always colicky and fussy. He said he was very shocked to hear the babies Mother say she couldn't wait to return to work after the long weekend.

So yes, I'm glad I nurse. I'm grateful I didn't have to deal with things like colic or switching formulas to find just the right one. And I'm not ashamed of it. Here are some of the reasons I nurse my child.

*****

No bottles. I don't have to worry about heating a midnight bottle. All I have to do is reach into the bassinet and bring the baby into the bed to nurse. After I'm finished she can return to her bed. And if you're especially sleepy, you can do the side lying nursing position and you both can rest.

It's healthy. Your baby benefits so much. Your milk is easily digestible to him/her.

No smelly diapers! Breastfeeding babies don't have that smelly poo you think they do. In fact it reminds me of buttered popcorn (sorry if that was too visual).

Losing weight! Annabel is 4 months old and I weigh less than I did when I found out I was pregnant. While this much weight loss isn't the norm (I lost it this fast with Logan too but not with Arwen or Vince) you will lose more calories by nursing.

It's convenient. You don't have to worry about packing bottles when leaving the house. Your food is right there for your baby.

You save money. No expensive formula here. We did the math and by nursing all my children we've saved thousands of dollars.

The bond. A Mother can experience such a bond while nursing. I truly can say I will admit to missing this one aspect as my children grow.

*****

There are more but these are the major reasons I nurse. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
And as for my cousin and his baby girl. I called and she's still fussy. My heart breaks for her. They are trying yet another formula and may have to switch to Nutramigen LIPIL. They are trying to find other alternatives however because the cost is high for that particular type of formula. I hope they are able to ease Kaylias discomfort soon.

**That gorgeous photo is of Lucy Lawless of Xena fame and her child.

Circus Time!!!!!

I'm so excited, the circus is finally here! We're leaving early tonight so the kids can go into the pit area to get a close look.

Let's just hope PETA doesn't ruin things. They are here protesting two elephants that are a part of the show.

Josh Groban - O Holy Night

Everytime I hear this song, especially when sung by Mr. Groban, I have to fight back tears. Especially at the part when he sings, "fall on your knees..."

Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Baby Grace aka Baby Riley

This entire story makes me physically ill. A innocent and vibrant 2 year old, beaten with belts, submerged in freezing ice cold water and ultimately taken from this world in a violent fashion. The way she died is without excuse, there is no logical reason for what occurred to her.

Then today I hear the stepfather, Royce Zeigler and Riley's biological Mother, Kimberly Trenor (and I say that because she is no Mother in my eyes) are combating one another. They are pointing fingers in directions far from themselves, playing the victim. Royce Zeigler is currently placed in solitary confinement in prison. They know what will happen to him if the general populace gets a chance at him. And as for the Kimberly, she is being held in a medical ward, because she is pregnant again.

It doesn't matter who is telling the truth or who committed the actual crime that ended Riley's life. Both are guilty. They hid this little girl's body in a sterlite container. The very same ones I use in my home to store toys with. They placed her, discarded and uncared for, in their garage. Then they finally pushed her into the ocean, leaving her to the elements and whatever else might happen.

I hope the two of them rot. And I certainly hope that the baby yet to be born will be quickly removed from the two of them as well as their families. It's obvious this isn't an environment that any child should be placed in. Think about it, this girl was missing, placed in the garage, and NONE of the man's family nor hers noticed?

The entire situation makes me angry.

Some people are SICK!

I saw this on the news, I wanted to vomit. You can read the story HERE but I'll summarize below.

Anne, a 3 year old beagle, was let outside to play. When her family called her she didn't respond and they became worried. Then somehow, Anne made it back home. She was missing 80% of her coat. She had apparently been skinned alive, all the way from the nape of her neck to her tail. She had to be euthanized because her injuries were so severe and there wasn't enough skin to do graphs with.

This makes me so angry and so disgusted. There are some very very sick individuals out there. It is the reason I can't even allow my children to play outside unless I am right there beside them.

Pack Rat!

My husband is probably going to get mad about this entry. But truthfully, he can't get anymore angry than I was sorting through all of his crap last night. You see, my husband is a pack rat. He gets this from his family. They are the first and only family I have ever met who doesn't throw anything away. If one of them decide to part with something, they merely pass it along to another family member. I'm not even going into the entire fights that occur when someone *gasp* throws out a piece of old furniture.

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"That's been in the family for 500 years!!" I can just hear it now.

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*sigh*

And last night was the last straw for me.

I don't know how to tell him these things he clings to are taking up space. I mean seriously, do you really need those trophies from soccer when you played as a kid in 1990?? Isn't it time to let go of the past and move forward? Yes, it's nice to revisit the glory days but I already have pictures that cement each moment in stone. Your Mom made sure of that.

We don't need those board games that are missing pieces, or the old notebooks and manuals from college. We don't need old calendars that are 5 years old or boxes from items we purchased 5 years ago (I'm pretty sure that warranty is gone by now).

It's nice your Mom saved your baby blankets, jackets and toys but unless our children can actually play with them, what's the point? Why pass them on if they will only stay in a box in our closet? We also don't need all of those holey t-shirts in the closet or shorts you no longer wear. Let these things go for the sake of forgoing all the clutter!

I'm not looking forward to cleaning out this space, not at all. I have a feeling all I'm going to do is move things around my home. Maybe I should just chunk some of this crap and not ask. I'm pretty sure he won't even notice it's gone. I can't tell you the last time he grabbed his old trophies and did whatever it is he does with them. Our attic is so full of old junk that we no longer have any room up there.

You know you have too much junk when you can't even fit the kids Santa presents into the attic without moving boxes around. I'm in desperate need of a pack rat intervention!

State Languages

Surprise, surprise. I was watching the news this morning and was really surprised to see a segment on English v/s Spanish speaking. It was pretty educating. I found out that our county is working on training emergency response workers to be Spanish speaking.

Then I found out about THIS. It appears that while the United States in general does not have an official language, the state of Alabama does.

Pretty interesting huh?

Mom confession of the Week

I confess, I've purchase pre-cooked food before and totally tried to play it off as homemade.

A Suddenly Sad Mood

Maybe it's the rainy weather, I'm sure it adds to it. Maybe it's the cold. Or Maybe it's because if watching about Baby Grace aka Baby Riley followed by watching segments of Schindler's list. Irregardless of reason, I'm suddenly in a sad mood.

I cannot for the life of me understand someone who can knowingly hurt a person, especially a child. I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. I think about Riley. A innocent little girl, just starting out her life. Only to be abused, beaten and killed by her own Mother no less.

When I think about children in the past, such as those in the holocaust, I try not to think of my own children in this situation. But I'd be lying if I said I don't. I imagine someone hurting them and I grow angry, upset and shut my brain off quickly. But some women don't have that option. Some women are currently dealing with rape, torture and murder in other parts of the globe.

While I am thankful to live where I do, in the land of the free, my heart still aches for those that suffer.

Sorry for the ramble, it's just gotten to me today I suppose.

Dwts 10th Week - Marie Osmond - Free Sytle

Wow, do any of you agree with me that this is NOT dancing? What was she thinking?

This is why I stopped watching (I did check in last night to see this though).

Jeezus.

Champagne Wishes & Trailer Park Dreams

Today I was thinking about my childhood and then Jolene Sugarbaker, the trailer park Queen.

I lived in a park for many years. Mom and Dad were struggling to make ends meet and forge a career for themselves (which they both have, they recently built their own house, which is totally paid for, GO Mom and Dad!).

I have zero regrets and I remember a happy childhood. But today I was thinking of the funny things about trailer parks and wanted to share just a few that popped into mind.

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Dumpster divers aka garbage diggers aka trash hounds. They will dig through your trash but usually are discreet and only do so if you place what might be considered "treasure" to them. Placing any large piece of furniture outside near the trash can and will illicit a visit.

There is always, without fail, a cat woman aka "The Cat Lady". This woman will horde all the stray cats she can get her hands on. These cats live both outside and inside her home. You can always tell when you near such a home because the porch, front yard, or car will be covered in lounging cats.

There is always, without fail, a dog person aka "The Mountain Woman". This person hordes dogs but not to the extent of the Cat Lady. She is generally more burley in stature and sports plaid flannel shirts.

Usually she has 4-8 smaller dogs inside and 4-8 large german shepard mixes outside. Some of the outside dogs will be chained to stakes in the ground, near doghouses. You can tell when you are near her home (if the dogs barking widly doesn't tip you off first) when you see a fenced in trailer but the dogs are chained inside the fence. The chain is for safety as these dogs are usually "biters" and she's been threatened or sued before.

You will always see at least one car on concrete blocks on the road. Most of these cars will sit for months like this. The "wash me please!" written in children's handwriting on the bumper or back windshield attest to this truth.

If you live in a trailer park, at some point, you will be asked for sugar, eggs, bread, ketchup or any other such items. It's called communal living.

There is always a gossip queen. She can tell you who is having affairs, who is on welfare and who is pregnant again. She's kind of hard to pinpoint at first but after she's stabbed you in the back you'll never forget her.

There is always the thieving child. We had several where I grew up. They will steal dolls, cars, bikes, you name it. And the worst part? They deny stealing it, even if your name is clearly marked over with permanent marker.

You will always see some, if not all children, sporting some sort of mullet. And if they don't have a mullet they did have one at some point prior.

They might not have a will or a retirement savings. But you can bet their double-wide, they have a tornado escape/safety route planned.

There is also "true trash". These are the people that really give trailer park living a bad name. They do stupid things like:

Put garbage atop their trailers because they "couldn't afford the trash bill".

Secretly hook their water hose to your faucet outdoors so they can avoid paying the water bill to wash their hooptie ride.

Have a path of junk and trash that forms a path to their doorstep and a sign on the door that reads, "Screw the dog, beware of owner!" with a picture of a very large handgun.

Have added onto their home with plywood or better yet, have made a porch with all the spare wood and plywood they could find, thus upping their trashiness level.

Keep all cars, even if they don't run. These are the people that also love to chain their dogs up to the tires and then say "the dog's fine, it can crawl under that there car."

And lastly, the one cardinal rule for the true trailer park trash lifestyle. . .

You absolutely have to steal your cable. I can't tell you how many times our cable box got checked because someone had tapped into our line.

~~~~~

I'll also add, just for clarification. There are actually clean and decent trailer parks and really really slummy ones. I should drive to a few and take some pictures. Redneckville is a haven of the trailer park lifestyle, both good and bad!

Pain

How can something so tiny hurt so bad. I don't want to imagine the pain burn victims experience.

I did this tonight while preparing ravioli with homemade spaghetti sauce. I accidentally slipped the top of my middle finger into the sauce boiling on the stove.

**My oh my. Talk about nasty. This morning my finger looks and aches something terrible, it's blistered and yucky.

No Means NO!

For the most part, I always check my caller ID when the phone rings. This helps me weed out telemarketers and such. But on some days, I'm too busy and my hands are literally too full to take a look before I hit the talk button. Today was one of those days.

As soon as I answered my belly tightened. I heard the same spill.

"Hello! I'm from *insert company here* . How are you today?"

"I'm fine."

"That's wonderful. I'm calling today because our company is offering this *insert special here* and we'd like to extend an invitation for you to *insert invitation here* . The price is *insert price* . I just need your address to go ahead and sign you up."

"No thank you," I say.

"Oh but ma'am! This is a *insert one time offer here* ! Let me get your information so I can get this out to you today!"

"No," I start to say but am interrupted.

"I'd really love to,"

"No, I'm not interested!" I say over the person. I usually don't shout but it's close and I quickly hit the end button to cut off the connection.

Now first things first. When did people that want to sell YOU something begin making the decision to spend your money for you? When did people stop asking? Back when I did tele-marketing, I actually asked and I also took no for an answer (subsequently, I quit shortly after and they were glad to see me go).

.

If you want me to consider making a purchase from you, ask me. Telling me what I will do only pisses me off. I have children bossing me about all day, I don't need you adding to it.

When I say no, I mean no. Nothing you say is going to change my mind. I realize that you can break the resolve of those kind hearted people out there. I know this because I used to be one of them. Thankfully, after I married my husband he trained me on how to stop being a pushover. And let me tell you, if he answers the phone and not myself, brace yourself.

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I realize this is your employment. This is how the bills get paid. But you have to realize that you are calling into peoples home, interrupting their busy lives. Don't go complaining to family about how rude and hateful people are you call up. Keep in mind, you often disturb dinner, family time or homework. You break up intimate moments between lovers/spouses/partners.

.

If I'm getting my groove on (which is a rare treat for me) and you interrupt that, there is going to be hell to pay. And worse yet, if you call while I am getting my groove on, while all of my children are away, I'm liable to lay the phone down and modesty be damned. Consider yourself warned.

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If I had any suggestions for those tele-marketing now, I'd offer this advice:

Begin the search for a better and more gainful employment opportunity first and foremost.

Make your offer one time and don't interrupt when the person responds.

If someone is polite and says, "no thank you", accept that answer and move on. If you continue to push me, then don't have the audacity to act offended when I tell you to shove it up your pie hole.

If you are asked nicely to remove a person from your calling list, do it. There is nothing worse than repeat calls from the same place. I'm not positive but I imagine the people that hang up on you immediately, yell at you or curse you out are victims of constant phone calls made with that particular offer.

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Treat people the way you want to be treated. Imagine you are the person that is cooking dinner and the phone rings.

And for the love of god. Do NOT call my cell phone. I don't like using it and keep it only in cases of emergency as far as my children are concerned. If you call my cell phone I will curse you out and hang up on you. I'm not wasting my minutes so you can tell me you have an offer I'm going to buy.

Small Changes when you become a Mom

I was talking to a friend the other day about how becoming a Mom changes you and I started thinking about the little things a person takes for granted (or at least, little things a person can do prior to having children). I decided to list a few of them.

Taking a drive to the gas station to get a coke. This is no longer something that takes 10 minutes. Instead you must pack up child, put child into car, drive to location, get child out of car, purchase coke, get child back into car, drive home, unpack child and remove child from car. So much for that quick spin to grab a drink.

Going to the movies. I'm not one of those rude parents who bring along my toddlers to harass movie patrons. Instead I have to plan weeks in advance for a sitter. No more just taking in a last minute show.

So much for the potty mouth. Long gone are the days when you just blurt out whatever expletive that comes to mind. Instead you are left using words like "frack" and "son of a buck".

No more take out or fast food. I used to eat out at least 3 times a week. Now with a tight budget and little mouths to feed, it can cost upwards of 25 dollars for one trip to McDonald's or Chik-fil-A.

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No more running to check on a meal or run to the bathroom. Things can and will happen in the 5 minutes you are gone.

Forget about a full nights sleep. You might get lucky from time to time but for the most part, sleep is a myth you only dream about. No pun intended.

No more losing your temper. You have to learn absolute patience and control. You're dealing with a small person who thinks the world revolves around you.

No more displaying those things you love or are oh so proud of (unless they are put together by your little ones loving hands). Put away the breakables unless you are willing to risk the possibility they might get broken. That's one lesson I learned the hard way.

A trip to the video store isn't just for the weekends you have no plans. A trip to the video store BECOMES your plans.

A shower is a luxury. Especially one that lasts longer than 10 minutes. No more lingering until the hot water runs out.

No longer do you talk over hair color choices and selections with your stylist. Instead your Mom, Sister, or Mom in Law become your consultants and color applicators and Sally's Beauty Supply becomes your palette.
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That dirt you used to hate so much? It's just dirt, will wash away, and offers a free distraction. A little hurt never hurt anyone.

That poison control sticker from the phone book is placed neatly on the fridge, instead of thrown away. That number has come in handy on many an occassion.

and finally, the 5 second rule that used to gross you out? Well it doesn't anymore and if the floor is freshly mopped, you can stretch it to 10.

Because I said So

This was on television this morning. Logan is home sick (asthma again) and I've been up since 5am and need a serious reprieve from Thomas the Train. Little did just what Thomas and my sons were saving me from.

I got about 45 minutes into the movie and changed it. Diane Keaton drove me absolutely nuts. It wasn't funny so much as it was annoying. If my Mother had been like that, I probably would have serious mental issues now as an adult. Seriously.

If the movie got better and you think I should finish it up, let me know. Otherwise it will stay one of the few movies I never finished.

Exhausted but Content

I've put up decorations, put away boxes, cleaned, scrubbed, mopped, dusted, washed, and did the bathrooms. I've been working on my house all weekend and at 11:47pm on a Sunday night, I'm exhausted.

BUT, at least now I can sit back, cut on some Christmas music and relax. All while looking at my beautiful Christmas tree. I really need to get the Josh Groban Christmas CD, then all would be right with the world...at least for a few stolen moments.

Jolene Sugarbaker Talks About Trailer Park Life

As my hubs says, if you can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of?

I introduce to you, Ms. Jolene Sugarbaker, the Trailer Park Queen. This is her missions statement. You can find more of the Trailer park Queen at www.Jolenesugarbaker.com

*I don't live in a trailer but did as a child. We've moved on up to the Pottery Barn living lifestyle, sorry Jolene!

Just the right one...

The Tree Farm...

Feeding the reindeer...

And now the search!

Mission Accomplished!

And when we arrived home, some snuggle time...

And some pick-a-boo, while digging through all the decorations.

Ahh decorating!

Here I am, with the trusty reindeer headband.

Christmas Time!!!!

I'm a christmas JUNKIE. Last year I was too ill to get into the holiday spirit. My tree went up late, my decorations never made it out of the attic. I was a sad sad Mommy.

But not this year! I feel better than I have in a year and I'm starting out the holidays today. I've pulled out the decorations and this afternoon we are going to cut our tree and feed the reindeer. Our family tradition that I missed so very much last year.

I'm breaking out the hot chocolate, taking some pictures and taking my children hunting for the perfect tree! God it feels so good to be back to normal.

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**I'll be taking pictures, if you'd like to see me post any of them, leave a comment and let me know!

Black Friday Chaos!

Just a taste of what black friday is like. But in some ways, I'm excited about next year...crazy I know.

Black Friday Madness

Today I embarked on my first ever Black Friday shopping. I sat my alarm for 4am, got my sleepy behind out of the bed. After a cup-o-coffee I then shot out the door in search of a digital camera on sale at the local Hell-Mart.

When I arrived it didn't look that bad. Sure it had more cars than should be out at 4:45 in the morning but still. I found a spot and began walking in. As soon as I hit the doors I was greeted by a police officer. I smiled at him and started thinking to myself, now this is some serious shopping they got going on here!! But it didn't stop there, oh no. Then I was given a map! A map to help me on my shopping adventure! All right!

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I passed the carts, then made the pass from the registers and BOOM. People all over the place. Each strategically placed in front of loading docks with items covered over with black plastic. The only way a person could know what was inside was by the white paper that labeled each thing (or by reading those incredibly nifty treasure maps!). I passed those camping out the $10 mixers, crock pots and toasters. Then I passed those at the $5 DVD's and then the $25 food processor. Finally I was at the home stretch, almost at electronics! I rounded the corner...

and OMFG. Oh my good god. There were people everywhere. It took 5 minutes or so of asking which line for the cameras before I got into one. Only, as soon as 5am hit, there were no lines, only absolute chaos. People were pushing each other, acting like wild animals. It was a sight! Apparently several of them were after the $50 portable DVD players and the $199 camcorder.

I watched some of the people grabbed for their friends way back in line, pissing off those directly behind them who were afraid they would run out of goodies. Bickering started back and forth and my line stalled out.

As I stood in awe I looked toward the counter, to where they were keeping the precious cameras and camcorders that had to be paid for there. I strained and my eyes found exactly what I was looking for. My heart dropped.

There were only 6 of the Kodak easy share cameras on the rack. Shit.

I immediately decide to change tactics. I suppose if you can't beat em', join em'. I'd been waiting at that point 30 minutes and the new line was moving faster and off was going all the good stuff. I swapped lines and crossed my fingers.

After another 15 minutes, I made it to the counter and looked at the two Kodaks left and got my camera. It was the most nerve wracking experience in the world. I paid and held it close. But I quickly moved on, I wasn't finished just yet! Time for the other bargains circled in my ad!

I rushed to the toys first, scored the 120 piece blocks set for 10 smackers. Found the extra large care bear for 10 as well. Hurried to the barbies for 5 bucks and got a couple and finally rounded off the kiddo shopping with the large 10 set packs of Hot Wheels for $5.

Then I hurried to the sheets. This would be the thing we needed but don't absolutely have to have. Luxurious 400 count cotton sheets. I got there and asked if they had any of my size and they said they were long gone. But I had a hunch and started to dig, I found the very last two in the entire display. Score.

Then on the way out the door, I found a CD for my kiddos, full of all the good Christmas classics. The Chipmunk Song, All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, I ain't getting Nuthin' for Christmas, and Frosty the Snowman are just a few of the gems included on the tracks.

So all in all, not so bad. But I'll tell you, I kept waiting for someone to break out into a fight. You could sense the tension in the air. I guess they call it black Friday for a reason.

Thanksgiving with Napoleon Dynamite

Happy Turkey Day!! Dynamite Style!

Holy Drama Asian Salona Batman!!

Wow, I come down from a nap and see I have a comment about my Asian Salon Rudeness post.

To start, I said I might step on toes when I blogged Hell-Mart Invasion, Mexicana Style. In general, a person cannot bring race or nationality into any forums without someone feeling offended. This is why I said it was very un-pc of me. However, I wrote about an experience I had in my local Wal-Mart. That is the sole purpose of this blog. As my creative and personal outlet. There was no intention to offend, hence the disclaimer.

Then today I was treated very rudely at the salon and posted about it on my blog. I post about licking my childrens hair down and sniffing kiddo butt among other things. I've also blogged about my wretched drug abusing family members and the rednecks in my state, not to mention meth labs down the road. I'm an equal opportunity pisser offer.

If there is a "tone" to any of my blogs, in regard to race, it is completely unintentional. Trust me, if I have something to say about it I'll say it. Why beat around the bush. What would be the point? I've already made it clear how I feel about popularity contests on blogs previous and I'm not out to win hearts or awards. I'm just here to write about my experiences as a stay at home Mom, as a woman and as a person.

I live in a rural area, surrounded by all sorts of different ethnicity's. In fact, I'm 25% Cherokee indian, my fathers side is Irish and my husbands side is Italian. So there is diversity in my own family. There is the language barrier as I am not fluent in Italian but on the same token, we also have religious issues. My husband and his family are Catholic, I am baptist. Yet we all strive to get along because in the long scheme of things it really doesn't matter.

So there you go, in a nutshell. I just saw another comment on the Asian Salon entry by Ant. Which goes to show me I have readers I wasn't even aware of. I suppose I could take that into consideration when I write, that there are people reading my blog that might be influenced by what message it sends. But if I changed how I write, or my opinions on things, that would be censoring myself. Something I'm not even going to consider.

So thank you to the visitors here that enjoy my blog. Keep coming by to see me, I enjoy hearing from you and checking out all of your blogs in turn! However, I'll continue to write my experiences and won't apologize if I step on toes in the process. If in the reading of my entries you find yourself upset or experiencing anxiety, then I can only suggest perhaps my blog isn't for you. Blogging is something that is meant to be enjoyed by all sides, as both a writer and a reader. I mean that in the most sincere way possible.

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**Edited to add: I could have ended my explanation in the comments on the original post but after seeing the conflict this issue seems to have the ability to cause (and already has caused) felt it necessary to make an individual entry.

Today

Today I read an This entry by Will's Dad. I instantly felt ashamed for my rant about something as non-important as nail polish. I then had to remind myself it is only human to vent. But in an effort to move on and pass his wonderful message forward, I'm blogging again while the boys nap.

During the holidays some families have a set routine and gathering, others don't. I'll be honest, I've never much put thought into just how much you should cherish each gathering with your loved ones. I've always thought I'd just see that person next year, isn't that the normal way of thinking for most?

But families that have family members with terminal illnesses don't have this luxury. Each day is precious. Each holiday might be the last one celebrated in their presence. These families truly appreciate just how sacred time shared with your loved ones is.

On this Thanksgiving, I'd like to ask that each of you enjoy your family. Spread kisses and hugs and words of love to them and make sure they know just how much having this day with them means. Take it all in, absorb the memories into your mind and heart.

Remember, tomorrow is never promised.

Asian Nail Salon Rudeness

Today I went in for my post-surgery exam. Afterward I hurried over to the mall to see if Trade Secret had gotten some OPI's LE Kris Kringle Makes me Tingle. I was disappointed to find out that they didn't have any and made my way out of the mall, toward the exit.

On my way I saw a asian nail salon. A big sign sat atop a nail rack. "GET YOUR OPI POLISH HERE!" So I shifted Annabel's car seat (she was warmly snuggled inside) on my arm and went in. I was immediately accosted.

"You want manicure?" some young man asked.

"No thank you, can I look at your polish please?"

"You look at polish, ok, let me know if you want to see" and off he goes.

Thank.God.

Let me explain a bit about polish. If you're a junkie like myself there are polishes you'll want so badly but will never own. This is because if stored properly lacquer can have a very very long shelf life. I'm talking 10+ years. So when I hit up a store, I always look for those polishes I've always wanted, hoping to find one amongst the racks, forgotten and needing to be loved.

As finished with the counter and moved to the rack. I gently grabbed each bottle that stood out and flipped it over to check the label. I found one bottle I wanted and sat it on the glass counter. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement so I look up. It's another employee.

"What you want?" she says.

"I'm looking at polish."

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"You want to buy? what color you look for?" she keeps staring right through me. I get the distinct impression she thinks I'm a thief.

"I'm not sure," I reply and keep looking, trying to ignore her. "I'm looking to see if you might have something I want."

"How many you want? What you look for?"

I stop and look up at her again and repeat my previous response before returning to the task of looking over the bottles. And I'll be damned, the hussy stands over me. I keep waiting, hoping she will back off. I look over at Annabel who is nestled in her car seat directly at my side but when I look back, psycho asian woman is still there.

I finally have had enough and stand. I give her the eat shit and die look before telling her I'll take the one bottle.

"8 dolla," she says and just stares at me. I refrain from asking, "Me love you long time?" and instead reach into my pocket book and pull out the money and hand it to her. Even then she stands staring at me.

"WHAT?" I say rather harshly. And sensing I'm now pissed she saunters off. I grab Annabel and my bottle of polish, somewhat regretting making a purchase from the witch.

So I'm sitting her stewing over this. This isn't the first time this has happened. I don't know what it is about asian nail salons. Every time I've went shopping for rare polishes the same thing happens. They hawk eye me, stand over me or refuse to allow me to look over the polishes for sale. I've even went to salons with polishes locked up and I will have to call out and point to individual bottles in order to inspect them. Then the people become openly annoyed with me and act like I'm wasting their time.

I wish I could speak their language. That way, the next time I go to one of their salons, I can say:

"I'm not a thief, I'm just looking over items you clearly have labeled "FOR SALE". If you don't like it, take down the damned sign! And don't worry, I'm not risking going to jail to steal a bottle of nail polish from you, I'm not an idiot."

I mean seriously, can you see me swiping a few bottles and trying to make it out of the mall while carrying a large infant car seat with a baby inside? Sure it makes a funny mental image but jeezus.

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**The "Me Love you Long Time" thing was thought in my mind, as a JOKE. I won't be editing anymore posts about this issue, only to say that anything written versus spoken can be taken in the wrong context. If you took me seriously when I said this, then I do apologize for that. In all honesty, it was my sort of potty humor. .

4 Months Old!

Happy Birthday my sweet little one. Four months ago you blessed our family and melted my heart.

She is growing so fast. I can't believe I ever doubted god's wisdom when I became pregnant. It just goes to show, never look a gift horse in the mouth. The best gifts are the ones least expected.

Mom 101

A few things to share with other Moms

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Mom Health 101

You can sustain yourself on as little as 1-2 hours of sleep per night. Just don't extend past a week or you'll begin to hallucinate.

If you want to eat a hot meal, munch and test the food while cooking. Otherwise you're sure to eat cold food after your family is finished.

Set aside 15 minutes per day for YOU. And this doesn’t include any naps you may take.

A tablespoon of peanut butter will give you energy. Eat a spoonful on those days when you’re just busy busy busy.

Helpful Hints 101

You can remove alot of stuff with fingernail polish remover, even permanent marker if you spot it in time (this won't work for cloth surfaces I'm sad to say).

A steaming bathroom caused by a hot shower is just as good as a cough medicine for a coughing child.

Purchase two calendars. One for the wall and one for the desk, table or wherever. Get into the habit of checking each week ahead of time. This will keep you on track for appointments and things you need to get done.

If you have an appointment and no time to iron that shirt of yours or pants, bring it into the bathroom with you when you shower. The steam will help remove some of the wrinkles if not all of them.

Cleaning 101

Save those plastic grocery bags, they come in very handy when you have a stinky beyond reason poopie diaper.

Wet wipes can clean so much. I purchase the generic bulk box and keep them in a labeled box for spills and the like. I use the more expensive brand for delicate bottoms.

Purchase fleece blankets and use them to cover the couch cushions. These are easily removeable, come in many colors and keep your couch from getting sticky and dirty. Your couch will last longer and this will save you from purchasing a new one each year.

Knock a candle over and get wax on your carpet? No problem. Let the wax dry and get your iron and a towel. Cut away away excess wax on the top that is loose. Place the towel on top of the wax, iron over the top for a minute. Lift the towel and no more wax in the carpet.

Do laundry daily. As much as it sucks it prevents the 'pile-up' from occurring. You do not want to deal with the 'pile-up', trust me on this one.

Shout liquid gel is your best friend. Always keep it on hand. And for the love of god, do not dry a stained piece of clothing, ever. Drying a stain = setting it into the cloth, FOREVER.

You can wash tennis shoes in the washer and tumble dry them, I do this all the time. To help regulate the BOOM, BOOM, insert a towel into the dryer along with the shoes.

Mr. Clean pads are my favorite thing in the world for cleaning. They do it ALL. Test one out on your bathtub sometime, AWESOME I tell you.

For those terrible, soap scum showers. Purchase Lysol scrubbing bubbles and a bristle toilet brush. Allow the bubbles to sit for 5 minutes then scrub with the brush. You will be amazed at home much easier cleaning your shower is, and you don't have to get your hands dirty.

You can bleach the plastic clear shower curtain to remove grime. Just put the curtain into your washer, add bleach, wash on delicate and air dry. Wah-La, like new curtain and zero moola spent.

Change the sheets on all the beds each week. There really are bed bugs. Dry your pillows (if not down) in the dryer for 10 minutes on high heat to kill off any pests. I also recommend washing comforters every other week.

Shopping 101

Vaseline works better than any desitin, diaper rash product and it's cheaper and easier to apply. And don't purchase the "Baby" Vaseline products versus the regular, if you check the ingredients they are the exact same thing but the smaller "baby" version costs on average 50-75 cents more.

Generic Tylenol and Motrin are just as good as the name brand.Generic foods, are not as good as the name brands (in many cases).

Grocery lists will help you save money. Sit and write the household items you need and then decide what meals you will cook, purchase in bulk and stick to the list.

Coupons are smart and thrifty, they are not stupid and cheap.

Go shopping early in the week and hit up the meat section for great deals. Remember the expiration date is the time something should be eaten or frozen by. Purchase and freeze and save a bundle. Buying in bulk and freezing will also save you cash.

The Dollar General, Big Lots, Freds and the Dollar Store have some great deals. If you haven't shopped there before, please do.

Ebay has a lot of bargains. Consider making purchases from there. I save a ton on my favorite hobby (reading) by making purchases there and from half.com.

Cooking 101

You don’t have to be a great cook or love cooking to do it. Invest in a crock pot, large pan and a fry daddy. Those three things will save you on the days you just don’t feel like a lot of effort.

You can find many recipes online for free. Just do a search, allrecipes.com is one of my personal favorites.

Buy frozen vegetables versus canned for most of your cooking needs. The frozen have less sodium, more vitamins and cost less on average. You can also purchase frozen in bulk.

Keep pasta on-hand. Pasta fills you up, is easy to prepare and is inexpensive.

If you must have cola’s, try different generic brands. There are decent ones out there and again, it will save you money.

If you give your children juice, add a little water to it. Juice is very concentrated and full of calories.

If your child absolutely will not drink water, try crystal light or make Kool-Aid.

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I’m not sure if any of these will help and there are things I’m not thinking of off the top of my head. Do you have Mom 101’s to share?

Mom confession of the Week

Yes, I confess. I've done the "lick". I've done the lick to straighten a stray hair on my childs head and I've done the lick on a piece of paper to wipe down a mess on my childs face.

When you're in public and you're desperate, you do what you gotta do.

Being a horrible person

I feel horrible, terrible, awful, wretched. You name it, I probably feel it, here's why.

I have a cousin, he's mentally handicap. That in an of itself isn't bad but there are reasons I cannot have him around my children. He is too rough, too strong and won't listen. At Christmas when my Mom's side of the family gathers Jim and I hawk eye him. He has a horrible habit of hugging too hard (he would crush a child) and loves to punch people in the arm and stomach (he thinks it's all in fun). He's hurt people before and has been reprimanded, even yelled at harshly but his behavior doesn't change. He just doesn't understand, his brain just doesn't function on that high a level.

He calls the house from time to time. I try to humor him and talk a while but unfortunately he asks things I have no answers for. Do I know of any women? Can I go hang out and shoot pool with him (right then or that very night)? Can I find out this persons number? Etc, etc. The list is very long.

Then today he called me. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of months. His sister is apparently snubbing him and he's upset. He said that she doesn't want to hang out with him and is embarrassed to be seen with him. I sat in silence, only soothing him with "I'm sorry, that is very wrong of her" over and over. Yet at the same time I couldn't invite him to my home for support. He could very well kill one of my children.

So here I am feeling like a horrible person. He means well and is a good person at heart, he's just a big kid that can't wrap his mind around the harm he is capable of. And I have to be safe rather than sorry. Especially when it comes to my children.

Missing my Ty

I'm curious to see if he still reads the blog.

I've missed you Ty, pick up that phone and call me. I need some best friend talk. It's not fair you called and talked to Jim and not to me!

Keeping up with the Jones

So I took AB (it's what she wants to be called now, don't ask me why) to a birthday party Friday. I was mortified to be 20 minutes late but this was due to getting lost in 4pm traffic.

As we arrived I grabbed the present, AB and my purse and camera. The house looked nice from the outside but nothing too fancy. A brick rancher with a small porch and garage. But boy oh boy, when I stepped inside I felt so self conscious.

The house was so carefully decorated. The walls in each room were painted to compliment the lighting. Pictures and paintings were scattered among the walls. At the front door a beautiful antique looking desk with a mirror. As I made my way from the formal dining room which was attached to a small study (complete with a desk and piano) I came into the living room. The furniture was a dark wood, beautiful and earthy and straight ahead was the kitchen. I fell in love instantly.

The kitchen wasn't even big but it didn't need to be. A wrap around counter hosted the sink, stove (one of the new ones I'd love to have, with the invisible eyes) and fridge. On the opposite wall was a built in booth, complete with overhead cabinets and class doors. All painted in white, offset with ivory ceramic tile. Underneath the couter tops, facing the living room, were shelves for books. Each nook was filled, some spaces holding framed photos.

I told the lady of the house how beautiful her home is. The fireplace in the living room was also lovely but understated to match the kitchen. She thanked me and told me she's lived in the home for 17 years and that is why it's come along, not because she is a good decorator. I'd beg to differ.

So now I'm looking at my own home, feeling very inadequate. The truth is, the only room that is really decorated (as far as living spaces, not bathrooms) is the formal dining room. My kitchen and living room are blah, same for the family room. I've decided to get my ass into gear and finally fix up the living room. It is past time to paint over the numerous crayola drawings and ink on the wall.

I want to do the back wall, where the couch usually is placed, with a textured cream/brown/tan wallpaper. Then to bring that out I'll be painting the rest of the room in a light cream to go along with it. I've already decided where to put new pictures and how to do some frames with photo collages through out. The plan is taking shape and I'm planning it out. Now to wait for the money.

That is the crappy thing about making your home look nice, the price. It's crazy. Just to paint our family room (which I'll admit is rather large) we forked out 80+ dollars in kilz and then paint alone. This didn't include extra brushes or rollers.

After this is complete it will be on to my daughters room. She has begged Santa for Butterscotch. For those of you who are not aware of what Butterscotch (the link will take you to a youtube video that shows Butterscotch in motion and it is pretty awesome, I've seen her in person and AB is so excited) is, see above. She is a pretty creature but an expensive one. I've decided to decorate AB's room with a fenced area, plush or turf grass and some flowers. I'm also going to purchase a few buckets and materials to make a hackamore for her new pony.

I just wish we had more money to spend. Usually taxes are where we get money to decorate a new room each year but that is already gone, being used to reside the house. I'm not even getting into all of that mess, home maintenance is a bitch. Especially when money is tight.