Addiction

I made my way to the local Wally World today for my bi-weekly shopping excursion. I dodged fellow shoppers, quickly made my selections and rushed to the check out. I have a love hate relationship with Wally World but I digress.

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I looked for and was happy to find my Aunt. I don't get to see her often and take every hellish Wally world visit to catch up if she is working that day. She asked the usual, how are the kids, school, etc.

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When I inquired about her life she took a deep breath and informed me that my uncle isn't doing so well. He is still unemployed but finally received medicaid so he can begin seeking help for his "sickness".

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Since neither he or his wife have gainful employment and are raising my 6 year old cousin, my aunt picked up extra shifts in an effort to help them out financially. The problem is Hell-Mart is her second job for supplemental income so she doesn't really have the money either. So, she explained, "your Mom, Dad, Grandpa and Ma have been chipping in to help them out, it's very stressful for everyone right now. We are all so worried about him."

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I listened to her talk about the toll this is taking on everyone, how worried they all are, how upset it is making my family. Then I asked about his wife and what she was doing as their son is in school and she wasn't working the last time I heard.

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"Oh well, she's...you know...her! but the one thing that just pisses me off! Her family hasn't lifted ONE finger to help! Not one!" As she spoke her face turned red and her voice lifted. She became so agitated she told me she had to go and gave a fast hug before walking away.

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I watched her go and the same thing repeated over and over in my mind. "Why would they want to help him?"

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This "sickness" my Aunt so cleverly tries to disguise as something else is in fact drug addiction. My Uncle has been actively doing drugs, all sorts of them, for years. He has been in and out of rehab for addiction to narcotics, alcohol, cocaine, you name it. My family always kept his arrests and mistakes "hush hush". He would promise to get sober, they would band together to pool money to pay his fines and things would go back to normal. No one ever discussed the huge elephant sitting in the room.

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Unfortunately, my family can no longer hide behind the facade that everything is ok. This time my uncle is addicted to a drug that is merciless and takes people down hard and fast. He is addicted to the drug spreading itself across our nation. A drug that takes piece by piece of you until there is nothing left. This drug I refer to is called crystal meth.

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When I saw him this past Christmas I had a pretty good guess as to his drug of choice that holiday season. He was missing more teeth (years of abuse had taken a few of them), his skin was patchy and yellow and he had dropped a massive amount of weight. At 6"4' he weighed less than I do. He looked like death. I asked my Aunt (when he was well out of ear shot), "what's wrong with Uncle?? he's so freaking skinny!" and was told, "oh! he was diagnosed with diabetes and it's made him so sick! but he's getting better and has found a great doctor!".

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I can't tell you why she said that. I assume she imagined I was still a child and would take everything told to me at face value. I nodded and walked away. Since then things have steadily went downhill fast for him and consequently, his wife and son. Meth doesn't take long to manifest itself in your everyday life after it's teeth have settled in, or at least that's what I've been told.
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I watched my Aunt walk away today and felt a mixture of emotions but one stood out among them. Anger. I'm so angry at this person and his addictions over the years. I'm angry that my Mom and Dad, Aunt and Grandparents have to suffer and stress over this year after year. But at the same time that anger leads to frustration. Frustration that my family won't cut him off and make him stand on his own two feet. Frustrated that this has been allowed to go on for so long and probably won't end until his addictions kill him. And I'm sad. Sad that a 6 year old little boy won't ever know what it means to have a real father, just one that sits around high in his presence.
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It's heartbreaking.