It's called Autism!

It started out innocently enough. As a baby Logan didn't cry to be held, he didn't cry much at all in fact. He loved to be in his bouncer, a combination of a travel bassinet that raised up so he could see around. When his father or I would hold him he would become fussy after a short time and when we placed him back in his bouncer, he was happy again.

As he grew and became a toddler, he smiled and laughed. I became pregnant very early on with his younger brother, so perhaps I missed something along the way, I'm not sure. But by the time Vincent arrived, Logan had began to change somewhat, yet we didn't become alarmed. He enjoyed playing with his cars and we just figured he didn't want to play dolls with his sister. Then we noticed he stopped making eye contact, began keeping to himself and wouldn't respond when we called out to him.

At first my husband and I assumed he might have hearing issues (we thought he was actually deaf). We could stand directly behind him and yell his name and it would get zero response. We took him to a NET Dr. They sent us to have his hearing checked in a very hi-tech booth (which is VERY hard to do with a 2 year old) and it came back totally fine. We were at a loss, what was wrong with our child?

My mother in law saw a commercial around this time about autism and asked me if I'd seen it. She told me the child made her think of Logan. It took some time but I finally was referred (I wish I could recall by whom, I think it was my friend Kelly) to a program called Early Intervention. Their program deals with childhood developmental delays until the age of 3 and then helps place children in programs to help them with their needs. Our care coordinator and two workers came out to evaluate Logan. It didn't take long to discover he has high functioning autism.

At first I beat myself up. Was this my fault? Why didn't I catch it sooner? But eventually we got him into the program and shortly after he began a school like program part-time. The change was drastic. He began to speak (he still only uses 1 two 2 word commands, sometimes we get lucky and he will place 2 to 3 words together, such as "where are you?") socialize with the family and show affection again. It took some time but as a parent I am so grateful to see my child be a part of our family and not sit to the outside any longer.

Which brings me to the point of my blog. For some reason, there are still people in my family that function under the thinking that my child is mentally retarded. I've explained to these people time and again that Logan doesn't have any form of retardation, that he has a social and speech developmental delay caused by his autism. They shrug me off and the next time we speak they will ask how he is doing in "slow school". It's infuriating!

One of the main offenders is my very own Grandmother. I try to keep my cool and remember that she is getting on in age and is somewhat senile but it's very difficult. She constantly compares my son to her grandchild Jessica that was born with mild mental retardation. The two are nothing alike.

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It's hard for me as it is without worrying over people assuming my child is "retarded". (and for the record, even if he were, it wouldn't be ok say it so lightly) I already have to deal with the stares I get from parents standing waiting to eat lunch with their children and watching as my tiny toddler comes down the hall from his class (he is so small compared to the regular school children).

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I adore my Son. Hearing things like this or watching people in the family stare at him during get togethers when he softly (he speaks VERY softly) gives a one word command irritate me to no end. He isn't slow, stupid, or retarded people! It's called Autism!!!

I realize that in our society nowadays, anything goes and this is probably something I need to just get used to and move on. Everyone views things differently I suppose...like my father for example. To this very day he swears nothing is wrong with my son...since he spent the weekend with them months ago and my son followed a young boy visiting them around and mimicked what he said. I've tried to explain that copying behavior isn't a sign that he can do things on his own unprompted but my own father shrugs this off too.

Maybe it's a generational thing? Who knows (I wish I did).