Reach out and smack someone

Logan's party went very smoothly (aside from the sickness that still lingered). We picked up his spongebob cupcake cake and I had the place decorated. Family arrived, we had cake and ice cream, he got tons of toys.

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It's amazing to witness each and every "birthday" of my children. I am reminded of the day I held them first in my arms and love to pull out pictures each time and reminisce on the experience and all that has happened to bring us where we are today as a family. I truly live for each and every one.

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But as is the norm in my house, nothing goes by without some sort of problem or "hitch". I've become accustomed to this and just prepare myself that something can and will probably happen. It's easier to accept than if you are expecting a wonderful day with no drama.

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My husbands relatives showed up for the party (none of mine did but that's a story for another blog). I didn't mind and sat down with them to talk just prior to cake and ice cream. Problem is...Jim's cousin Jay showed up with is wife Lorie and their two boys, Caleb and JJ.

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I'd been told of Lorie's desire to have a girl while she was pregnant with Caleb (he is about 8 months old now). When she found out she was carrying a boy she was very sad and I felt for her. I understood how it feels to want one sex but I also remembered that no matter what you have the love is no different afterward. After Caleb's birth she had a tubal ligation. Jay is 46 years old and does not want more children, Lorie is 36 and did. Jay has already said once in the presence of family that he didn't want to tell Lorie about Annabel's birth (she was two weeks old before Lorie found out we had a girl, we'd waited to find out sex until the birth) due to the fact "she might want to reverse her tubal".

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So as I sit with Annabel, Lorie points to her and prods Jay. "Look at her!" and Jay completely ignores Lorie and my daughter. Then Lorie asks to hold her, this grabs Jays attention. "Don't hold that baby, you might losen your tubes". Thinking he is joking I almost laugh until he continues "if you wanted another you shouldn't have gotten your tubes tied". My smile vanished and the urge to reach out and slap the hell out of this man overtook me! I was so fracking pissed!!!

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How dare he address his wife and mother of his children in such a cold, hateful way? In front of family no less! Had that been Jimbo I'd have given it right back but Lorie just sat there and said nothing. A part of me feels badly for her yet another part feels that you are only a doormat if you allow yourself to become one. I feel for her and her desire to have a daughter but I also realize that even had she gotten pregnant one more time she may have had a boy again. It's a 50% lottery each time.

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Once Jay and his crew left (immediately after cake and ice cream, they didn't even stay to allow JJ time to play with the children) things returned to normal. We all chatted while the kids destroyed my wonderfully clean house. I was so angry I brought up Jays behavior (he completely ignored Annabel before and I was still angry about that brush off) and was happily surprised to have his mother and sister both agree his behavior was out of line and rude. I told them that next time, I'm calling him out on it. I won't ruin my sons birthday but on a regular day all bets are off.

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After everyone left, I tucked my newly minted 4 year old boy into bed and told him how much I loved him and about the day he was born. I kissed him and hugged him tightly and made a memory I can hold on the days when I need them most.