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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Lunch Police



Sending your toddler to school for the first time is like dangling your heart out in the open when you fall in love. You hope your dreams will come true but worry about what could happen and that your heart might be broken.
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I sobbed terribly the first day I dropped Arwen off at pre-school. I had to pull the car over to calm myself. Dropping Logan off his first day was equally difficult. Sure he only attended half a day but his being away from me was hard to swallow at first. I would eagerly anticipate the clock hitting 10:45 so we could rush out the door and pick him up.
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I knew the notebook in his bag would inform me on his progress but one day I got quite the shock. The note informed me that I "need to please feed Logan before you bring him into school, he is very hungry when he arrives". At first I was embarrassed and totally confused. Each and every morning I gave Logan cereal, waffles or pop tarts to eat, so I wasn't exactly sure why he would be "very hungry". Then it dawned on me. He wasn't used to eating that early in the morning, instead he was reverting to our schedule at home, breakfast between 8-9am.
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I sent back a note of my own explaining why this was happening and that I would do my
best to try and get him to eat in the morning. I also requested they be patient as I work on changing his set schedule. Imagine my surprise when I received yet another letter, this one more firm, stating the very same thing. So again I wrote the teachers and explained he had not gotten his schedule changed yet and I cannot force him to eat.
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This went on until the teacher finally called my home. She said she felt I was "insulted" by the tone in my letters and that wasn't her intention. I explained I was somewhat upset as I would never withhold food from my children but that it is out of my hands if my son refuses to eat his breakfast. I can place him at the plate but I cannot force him to eat.
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It took at least a month or more for this to resolve and I was finally able to enjoy his being in school. Then I got ill with my pregnancy and shortly after school was dismissed for the summer.
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Logan recently started his program again, only now he is a full time student. Initially I thought we'd buy Logan's lunch from the school but one look at their menu stopped that idea cold. You see, Logan is one of the most picky eaters I've ever met. I'm not sure if his autism compacts the matter but no matter the cause, he will only eat certain foods. As annoying as it may be, I've been preparing separate items for his dinner and supplementing his diet with vitamins, milk and yogurt at every turn.
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When faced with this lunch delima, I had no idea what to do. I finally made the decision to pack what he would eat (chips, milk, snack cake and yogurt or pudding cup) for lunch and would make up for it nutrition wise at dinner (to the best of my ability). I hated that first day. I was so embarrassed to send out a lunch like that but at the same time, I don't want to waste food and sending a sandwich would result in just that. I would send cheese on the days I packed his lunch and he seemed agreeable to eating it.
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Low and behold, I had a note ready for me in his bag today. I was informed that they are "required to offer proper nutrition" and could I "please send a sandwich, meat or cheese. He might not eat it but we will offer it."
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Of course I will send the food, I just hate the idea of it being thrown away after it sits untouched in the cafeteria. It's really hard sometimes dealing with these sorts of issues. Being confronted makes me feel as if I'm doing a bad job as a Mother. I've tried making different foods, making foods in shapes to make them more interesting, nothing works. I'm pretty sure I can't send him what he will eat for lunch like spaghetti, ravioli or his mushroom rice since it requires having a microwave to heat it.
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I've been hit up by the lunch police.
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Score:
Mom=0
Teachers=1
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1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jaime... this must be so hard. i taught a child with autism last year and his mom packed the same kinds of snacks. So don't worry, you're not alone. She was like you and just didn't want her son to freak out at school when he was forced to eat something he didn't like. She thought she'd fight that battle at home. Hopefully the teachers will see that you are only trying to help them. **hugs**