I feel horrible, terrible, awful, wretched. You name it, I probably feel it, here's why.
I have a cousin, he's mentally handicap. That in an of itself isn't bad but there are reasons I cannot have him around my children. He is too rough, too strong and won't listen. At Christmas when my Mom's side of the family gathers Jim and I hawk eye him. He has a horrible habit of hugging too hard (he would crush a child) and loves to punch people in the arm and stomach (he thinks it's all in fun). He's hurt people before and has been reprimanded, even yelled at harshly but his behavior doesn't change. He just doesn't understand, his brain just doesn't function on that high a level.
He calls the house from time to time. I try to humor him and talk a while but unfortunately he asks things I have no answers for. Do I know of any women? Can I go hang out and shoot pool with him (right then or that very night)? Can I find out this persons number? Etc, etc. The list is very long.
Then today he called me. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of months. His sister is apparently snubbing him and he's upset. He said that she doesn't want to hang out with him and is embarrassed to be seen with him. I sat in silence, only soothing him with "I'm sorry, that is very wrong of her" over and over. Yet at the same time I couldn't invite him to my home for support. He could very well kill one of my children.
So here I am feeling like a horrible person. He means well and is a good person at heart, he's just a big kid that can't wrap his mind around the harm he is capable of. And I have to be safe rather than sorry. Especially when it comes to my children.
2 comments:
This is such a difficult situation. I have no idea if I would do anything differently.
I don't have a problem with mentally handicapped people EXCEPT the issue you brought up. Some of them are not only very rough but they are very strong as well. I was bullied by a few mentally handicapped kids as a child...in kindergarten on the playground one little girl a couple years older than me would hug me so tight I literally felt like my ribs were breaking and I couldn't breathe. And she would grab my coat and swing me around and around and around and then let go. Over the years I've just learned to steer clear because of that ONE aspect. It's a tough situation, but in the end you have to do what's best for your kids. By talking to him on the phone you're still giving him support in some way. :o)
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