Black Friday Madness

Today I embarked on my first ever Black Friday shopping. I sat my alarm for 4am, got my sleepy behind out of the bed. After a cup-o-coffee I then shot out the door in search of a digital camera on sale at the local Hell-Mart.

When I arrived it didn't look that bad. Sure it had more cars than should be out at 4:45 in the morning but still. I found a spot and began walking in. As soon as I hit the doors I was greeted by a police officer. I smiled at him and started thinking to myself, now this is some serious shopping they got going on here!! But it didn't stop there, oh no. Then I was given a map! A map to help me on my shopping adventure! All right!

.

I passed the carts, then made the pass from the registers and BOOM. People all over the place. Each strategically placed in front of loading docks with items covered over with black plastic. The only way a person could know what was inside was by the white paper that labeled each thing (or by reading those incredibly nifty treasure maps!). I passed those camping out the $10 mixers, crock pots and toasters. Then I passed those at the $5 DVD's and then the $25 food processor. Finally I was at the home stretch, almost at electronics! I rounded the corner...

and OMFG. Oh my good god. There were people everywhere. It took 5 minutes or so of asking which line for the cameras before I got into one. Only, as soon as 5am hit, there were no lines, only absolute chaos. People were pushing each other, acting like wild animals. It was a sight! Apparently several of them were after the $50 portable DVD players and the $199 camcorder.

I watched some of the people grabbed for their friends way back in line, pissing off those directly behind them who were afraid they would run out of goodies. Bickering started back and forth and my line stalled out.

As I stood in awe I looked toward the counter, to where they were keeping the precious cameras and camcorders that had to be paid for there. I strained and my eyes found exactly what I was looking for. My heart dropped.

There were only 6 of the Kodak easy share cameras on the rack. Shit.

I immediately decide to change tactics. I suppose if you can't beat em', join em'. I'd been waiting at that point 30 minutes and the new line was moving faster and off was going all the good stuff. I swapped lines and crossed my fingers.

After another 15 minutes, I made it to the counter and looked at the two Kodaks left and got my camera. It was the most nerve wracking experience in the world. I paid and held it close. But I quickly moved on, I wasn't finished just yet! Time for the other bargains circled in my ad!

I rushed to the toys first, scored the 120 piece blocks set for 10 smackers. Found the extra large care bear for 10 as well. Hurried to the barbies for 5 bucks and got a couple and finally rounded off the kiddo shopping with the large 10 set packs of Hot Wheels for $5.

Then I hurried to the sheets. This would be the thing we needed but don't absolutely have to have. Luxurious 400 count cotton sheets. I got there and asked if they had any of my size and they said they were long gone. But I had a hunch and started to dig, I found the very last two in the entire display. Score.

Then on the way out the door, I found a CD for my kiddos, full of all the good Christmas classics. The Chipmunk Song, All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, I ain't getting Nuthin' for Christmas, and Frosty the Snowman are just a few of the gems included on the tracks.

So all in all, not so bad. But I'll tell you, I kept waiting for someone to break out into a fight. You could sense the tension in the air. I guess they call it black Friday for a reason.