Today was the annual cookie bake at my Mom's (Mother in Law's). All the girls gathered and sat together eating cookies, talking to one another and trying to relax in the stifling kitchen. Total awesomeness.
Then it happened. Jay was brought up. Now for those of you not in the know about Jay and Lori, I blogged about them a while back. After Annabel was born Jay acted the consummate ass and totally blew her off. He refused to look at her and acted as if she had the plague. His reason for being such a dick? He's upset we had a girl and he didn't. He is treating us and our baby like outcasts because he had two sons.
At first I tried to be understanding. I have two of each sex. I might take it hard had I only boys or girls. After Arwen all I wanted were girls. If someone even mentioned how sweet boys are, how adorable, sweet and how they bond to their Moms (all very true!) I would get pissed off. How dare someone tell me what I wanted and didn't. Then an amazing thing happened. Logan was born, placed into my arms, and I put my entire foot in my mouth. I was a fool for ever saying I didn't want a baby that was a boy.
Anyhow, today it was brought up. Apparently he has said that he still doesn't want to see or be near Annabel because (get this) it, "hurts him" to see her and "she is a painful reminder of what we don't have".
I sat clinching my jaw tightly. This is totally out of hand at this point. My daughter isn't going anywhere and he needs to grow the hell up. My sympathy has been replaced instead by anger and frustration. This is my child and she deserves to be acknowledged. She is here, she is a blessing and he is an asshole.
I told everyone the truth. If he treats her the way he did before at Christmas, I'm calling him out in front of the entire family. My daughter is cooing and smiling. If he turns from her if she locks onto him and smiles I know my rope will break.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive but he treated me and Annabel terribly at the party. He even chewed his wife out. The way I see it is if he truly wanted more children he should have had them. He shouldn't treat me or mine badly because of his choices and what god chose to give him.
Perhaps I should mention the thousands of childless parents that would give the world for just ONE child. Irregardless of the sex.
2 comments:
What an ass. We're (really, me) having issues conceiving a sibling for my stepdaughter. One of my ex-coworkers just had a baby girl. It was so sad for me to see her, but what did I say to her mom? "Congratulations, she's beautiful."
It's totally hard to be around babies now, and where I used to hold and play with them as much as possible (before I was ttc), I can't do that anymore. But I can still smile and coo and wave, and occasionally hold them.
The only new parents I had a problem with to the point where I can't be around them are the couple who didn't really want another child and had an accident. The baby's here and she's still complaining. I just choose not to go to functions where they'll be. If we end up at the same function, I suck it up, or leave early. I'd never take it out on them or the baby.
He doesn't have to be Annabel's new best friend and babysit and all that jazz, but he shouldn't be rude either. His issue is his issue and not your problem. He's a jerk for even bringing it up.
He should have never brought up his 'issue', unless you were endlessly calling him to hang out, or something!
Hey Katherine,
I'm really sorry to hear about the issues you are having. I hope everything works out.
I actually was very understanding the first time with Jay. We don't see him often. But at Logan's bday his attitude was really obvious.
I've never been the kind of parent to ask if someone wants to hold my child or if someone wants a baby I keep my distance. I know if they want to see the baby they will ask. I never hound.
He's just an arrogant jerk. I suppose it just upsets me because my daughter is here to stay and the sooner he gets used to it the better. That or he can stop coming to see the family on holidays ;)
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