Crappy Global Warmed Day

My day has sucked. I got into bed at 4am last night. The boys were up (Logan is sick) and I finally broke down and placed a television into their room to get a few precious hours of sleep.

Today they have ran me ragged. Logan has been throwing again, and hitting. Vincent has been whining. Annabel, thank the good lord, has been happy. Then to top it all off, it's fucking 70 degrees outside. I'm sorry for the language but I'm so angry and HOT right now. How can it be 70 degrees in DECEMBER?? If that doesn't scream global warming! I don't know what else does.

I just attempted to put the boys down but I can tell its going to be a struggle. I'm going to have to sit on the edge of one of the beds til they sleep. I just don't get it. They force me (literally) to be a evil bitch to them before they will listen. I hate that, I truly do. I always try so hard to be nice and never spank or lose my temper. I always walk away if I get angry and try to take a moment but on some days they won't allow me any respite.

Last night they started up and Jimbo got so angry he told me to put on my headphones and to go into another room away from them. He said he's sick of the way they treat me. Other than spanking I have no idea what to do. I'm dealing with a special needs child and time outs don't work, nor does taking things. Vincent is much the same because he imitates his brother. The only way the two of them ever listen is if I raise my voice and yell so loud my throat cracks. But afterward I always feel terrible and usually will spend the rest of the afternoon trying to make it up to them.

It's a narrow, hard line Mothers walk. On days like today I'm reminded that it's not all love and hugs. And speak of the devils, they are jumping on their beds, time to get tough.

*edited to add. Logan is sick but only in the form of a nagging low degree 99.4 fever. Otherwise he's climbing the walls and going nuts, acting like the heathen he sometimes is for the most part.