Monday, April 21, 2008

Bang my Head Against the Wall

Please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT call me and ask me about anything computer or internet related over the phone. Chances are if you cannot figure the shit out I cannot help you and if I give you the internet address and "it isn't coming up" then politely thank me for my time and hang up the damned phone. Don't keep me on the line to suffer as you tell me over and over, "it isn't there!?!" And no, I don't "know what you're saying" I'm in another location, lest you forget.

My Mother drives me absolutely ape shit doing this. She called tonight wanting to locate an article online. I lead her to the website itself but "it doesn't have that bar you're talking about here, it just has blah blah blah" so I gave her the direct URL but "I only has a map here that says blah blah blah..."

After several agonizing minutes I began to lose my fucking mind and told her I had to pee and I'd call her right back. I then walked to the nearest wall and proceeded to bang my head up against it over and over until the sound of her voice was no longer echoing inside my brain.

Jimbo was kind enough to capture the moment below.


Lawfrog said...

I can relate big time. Seriously, as soon as you hear the word "computer" on the phone, make that pretend static noise and say something like "must be cutting out" and then hang up.

It never goes anywhere good or sane when someone wants help over the phone with computer troubles. My sympathies.

Oh...and don't bother to bang your own head against the wall. Find the offensive computer moron and bang THEIR head repeatedly against any solid surface.