Migraine Hell

I've had a migraine since the moment I opened my eyes this morning. I tried to 'work' it off by moving about but it continued to increase in severity until I finally took some medicine and hit the bed the minute Jimbo walked in the door.

I woke up maybe an hour ago and it's still here. GRRR. I hate headaches and migraines even more. There is nothing that can ruin a perfectly great day like one.

I had to miss my Neuro appointment last week when I ran over the dog. I can't wait to get back in to see her.

How's that for a bargain?

It was past time. My New Balance shoes were purchased when I found out I was pregnant with Vincent and while still in decent shape they were starting to take a turn. I'd looked around here and there as I shopped for the kids but I just couldn't fathom spending $30+ for another pair. Especially since I wasn't in dire need...yet.

So I was on my bi-weekly excursion when I decided to step into Shoe Carnival. I also need a pair of sandals terribly and I'd hoped to find some on sale. As I shopped the sale racks I noticed some Sketchers sneakers. I immediately loved the color and style. They were a mix of sneaker and ballerina flats with an intricate colorful pattern. Problem was they were all small sizes and none of them would fit me.

As I moved along I came to the larger sizes and I found one pair of Sketchers exactly like the ones at the front of the store. I got excited until I saw the price tag. The shoes in front were on sale for $10 but these were $39, marked down from $60. Just as I was going to put them back I decided I was going to ask why the one pair was so much cheaper. I grabbed the boxes and made my way to the front.

The girl at the register said the prices were different because they had more of the smaller sizes and they were trying to move them. I thanked her and was about to walk away when the manager walked up. I remembered him from the last time I'd purchased the kids school shoes. He asked what was the problem and the girl relayed what she'd told me. The manager took a look at both boxes, then at me and asked to see them. After I handed them over he looked at each of them, grabbed a black marker and marked the larger ones (in my size) down to $10!

I thanked him and paid up before he could change his mind. I'm totally rocking these shoes by the way. I love the way they look and boy are they comfie but I love the price tag even more. I checked online and they run $60 retail.

How's that for a bargain?

Fool me Twice, Shame on Me

My Mother and I have always had our little quirks. I suppose that's natural considering we were at one another's throats as soon as I hit the ripe ole age of 18. I quickly moved out of her place and into my own with my high school sweetheart and thus began my emancipation into adulthood.

Over the years the ride has continued in a tempest. We get along and then we don't. We see eye to eye but only on certain things. One of those things is my Mom's mouth writing checks her ass can't cash. It often comes in the form of her saying she will do things but she never does. The list is a long one. Ranging from...

Telling us when she purchased another car she was going to "give" us her current one. Since we only then had the truck and my old Toyota that was falling apart. Eventually we bought my Camry, we had no choice when the Toyo went bust.

Telling us we could have her and my Father's old van. We were told this when I discovered my pregnancy with Annabel. We waited until I'd given birth to realize this too was a pipe dream and bit the bullet and went Van shopping. We made the purchase and got a great deal so it wasn't all bad. (That van promised to us by the way was given to another family member shortly after. The addicted Uncle to be exact)

Telling us she wanted to buy the children's back to school shoes. We waited until days before school started and just did it ourselves.

So it's no shock to me that recently she has reneged on something yet again. As you may recall (if not, I have an entry somewhere about our heating/air issues) our upstairs room is a furnace. It's always hot. We'd decided this year to install decent Hunter fans into the kids rooms to help reduce some of the heat. Upon hearing this my Mother...

"I'll buy them some fans!" she offered quickly over the phone.

"I've already found the girls one," I tell her. "It's one sale too, it's only $90, down from $200."

"Oh," she stammers. I know her idea was to purchase cheap Wal-Mart fans but I have been there and done that. I do not want something cheap that will last 1 year before falling apart.

"It's fine," I tell her. "We'll get them."

"No, I can get them, where are they? Are they at *insert store here*? I have a credit card there you know."

"No." I answer. "But it's ok, we will get them."

This banter goes back and forth for several minutes before I tell her if she really wants to get the fan it's here and it costs this much.

That was 3 weeks ago.

Then today she calls and I tell her I've found the fan on sale at Home Depot for $79 this week only. She just sits there. Immediately I know I need to make an emergency trip this weekend to procure this fan (hopefully, I'm crossing my fingers one is left).

I don't understand why she constantly does this. I never ask for anything, it is she who offers. And instead of it making me happy or thinking she's so generous, it just pisses me off because she never comes through. It's gotten to the point where I don't even listen to her now. To me it's just more of the same. Promises, promises and more promises. All of them empty.

Maybe in some way this makes her feel good. But I wish she'd just stop already. It's not that I mind her offering so much as I mind the long wait until we realize it's not happening and just go make the purchase when we could have done it long ago and have been done with it.

Miley, Miley, Miley

As many of you already know, I'm not a huge fan of Miley Cyrus. I don't understand her appeal. Maybe it's because I'm an old foggie or maybe it's because my children are not at the age (nor watch enough TV) to be into her. But even as a non-fan I hear about her.

First it was the provocative sleepover pictures of her posing with a friend that caught attention. Then it was the Libby Lu ticket scandal. After that it was the stand-in at her concerts. Shortly thereafter it was the new pictures of her exposing her bra and now it's about her photo shoot for Vanity Fair magazine.

I just have to say, do we really need to read about the above news stories on CNN.com? Isn't CNN about worldwide news? Since when is reading about a 15 year olds poor choices (not to mention what appears to be poor choices by her parents!) considered important news from around the globe? And it's not just CNN either, The NY Times is running an article today about it as well.

There are two pictures on my blog located above. The first was released by Vanity Fair to show the location and how it looked when the picture was shot. The second is of the actual photo in question. The famed photographer, Annie Leibovitz, did the shoot. She shoots digitally and shares each image with the celebrity before saving it for the magazine.

Now, from my stand point, it doesn't appear from that first picture there is any way possible Annie could have tricked Miley or her parents (who were on hand for the shoot, Billy Ray is actually in one of the photo's with his daughter). It looks pretty cut and dry to me. She posed in a sheet, with her back showing. Annie took the picture and wa~la. It's not rocket science people!

I remember seeing Miley when Barbara Walters did her most fascinating people thing before the Oscars. I wasn't at all impressed with the girl. But what really hit a nerve with me was Miley discussing her own "wing" of the house she shares with her parents. No fifteen year old needs to live in their own 'home' and to me a wing is pretty much that. At her age she is on the cusp of becoming either a responsible young woman or a reckless one. I just don't think that much freedom at fifteen is a good thing.

What do you all think about this story?

Big Decisions

It was a hard decision for us. We had to make the choice to send Logan to Kindergarten or to keep him where he is. He's right on the line and ultimately we had to choose if we feel he is 'ready' yet to move forward.

A huge part of the problem is not only the autism but also his youth. He would be a very young Kindergartener at only 5 years old (he will turn 5 during the year). But if we didn't place him there this year he will be an older one next year.

In the end the teachers, Jimbo and I think he would best benefit best from one last year in his class. It's going to be hard, he will be the oldest in the group now and we worry he will fall behind without that challenge from older children. So instead of taking cues from those around him, he will be the leader and it stinks in a way because it means he will get the required work but not that stimulation he's experienced these last two years.

I'm glad he's come so far, and I'm not stupid or selfish enough to dare want for more. Hopefully this last year will see him ready to take that next step in 2009. Of all my children, Logan never ceases to amaze me. He truly is my wonder boy.

Busted my Ass

Ouch.

I think I've broken my bootie bone. Last night while climbing over one of many child gates in our home my leg got caught. I tried to retain my balance but couldn't which ended in the gate breaking from it's hinge and since it broke it caused my leg to stay caught. I flew upwards and had no way to brace for the fall. So I landed directly on my tailbone.

I'm going to be walking little old lady style at the local Hell-Mart today.

Weight Loss Secret

You all want to know how I manage to keep the weight off? In fact, I'm slimmer now than my senior year in high school and it's all thanks to my children.

Each time I prepare anything to eat for myself, be it veggies and dip, reheats, breakfast, lunch or dinner, my children always want some.

Today I chopped up some cauliflower and made a side of dip. It was 3:00 and I hadn't eaten all day long. I sit in my chair and take a bite, my mouth sighs in delight when I hear my oldest child walk into the room. Even though she just finished off a two scoop bowl of ice cream, I know two things immediately. One, she knows I have food and two, she will come up to me acting like she wishes to chat in an effort to get my food.

"Hey Mommy, I love you."

"I love you too," I say and eat another piece.

"Oh you have cauliflower, can I try some?" She reaches over and grabs a chunk. I don't say anything because I know what's going to happen and sure enough, she begins to quickly eat down my food. By the time she is done she's eaten over 3/4 of it all and I'm left hungry and the cauliflower is all gone.

I haven't had an uninterrupted meal or snack with the exception of the nights they are at Mimi's in years. So there is my diet secret. My children are slowly starving to me to death.

What happened to me?

I've always been a tomboy. When I was a child I preferred G.I. Joes to Barbies, Cowboys and Indians to Dolls and playing war instead of playing house. I never wore dresses or skirts, hated wearing make-up and rebelled when I started growing breasts.

As time moved on I slowly embraced my feminine side but I retained old habits. I always wore blue jeans and make-up was always minimal. The two things I concentrated on were my nails and hair.

Recently however another person has emerged. Something is happening I NEVER imagined possible for me, starting with clothing. I finally purchased a skirt and liked it so much I bought another. After that I realized every girl needs a good pair of Spanx to rock skirts so I got a set. Shortly after this I purchased my first pair of heels and my attention then turned to make-up.

I knew it wasn't cheap but dear god, I never knew it was this expensive. I'd always bought my meager make-up in Wal-Mart since all of my skin care needs are purchased there as well. I use Neutrogena base, Physician's Formula blushes and powder and to cleanse I use J&J's Purpose soap and moisturizer. This has worked well for me over the years but admittedly, I never look like I'm wearing any make-up at all. It's natural taken to the extreme with me.

So lately I've been dibbling in eye shadows, eye liners, and brushes. I haven't made it to the foundations, concealers or bronzers just yet and it's a good thing because I can't afford the stuff I want right now. I've been watching tutorials for these amazing looks on Youtube and the products they use are outrageous.

M.A.C. stuff looks amazing. In each video I've watched this is usually the make-up of choice. I looked it up since I wanted to duplicate the looks and I literally could not believe my eyes. In order to recreate just one look I really liked I'd have to spend close to $300. Let me write that out, just to make sure you realize I didn't type that wrong - THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

That is just insane. Ultimately I did some research and ordered some pigments online from another company in sample sizes. This way I can get an idea of what I like and order accordingly. I still want some of the M.A.C stuff and I hope to get a few things but it'll have to wait. I've read that if you make a purchase at the counter the representative will give you up to 3 samples of pigment. So if this is true I'll just pick up a few samples and buy something once per paycheck until I have the things I really want.

I've been living under a rock because I seriously never imagined how expensive it could be. I suppose I should have when you fork out $15 dollars for a bottle of their polish. Jeezus.

Nuff said.

Drives me Crazy

Riiiinngggggg...Rinnnnngggggg...RIIIIINNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

"Damn it!" I growl as I climb out of the bed. I walk to the stairs and hear Jimbo grab the phone.

"Uhh, I think you just woke her up...yeah here she is..."

I round the corner and give Jimbo the evil eye, "Hello?" I ask.

"Hay! It's Mom, I'm at Wal-Mart, what was those chips you said Logan liked?"

Count to ten, I say to myself before answering, "He likes the pringles in the mini bags."

"Mom," I hear her say, "he likes the pringles. Ok, where are they?"

"Toward the end, on the left side." I sit down and hope to get off the phone.

"Cheetos, Doritoes, Pretzels..." she prattles on each bag she sees while keeping me on the phone.

"I'll call you back!" she tells me and I gratefully hang up the phone. I hurry upstairs to the restroom. I sit upon the throne, ready to do my business.

Riiiiinngggg...Riiinnnngggg...RIIIINNGGG!!!!

By this point I'm cursing.

"HELLO!?"

"Hay! Ok, I'm at the end of the aisle...little mini bags you said, I see a bag of other..." I begin my countdown to 10 again. Keep it together I tell myself. It's too early to blow your top.

"I'll call you back," she says again.

I hang up and wait for it. Fool me once and all of that. Good thing because within two minutes the phone starts talking again.

"Helloooooooooooo," I answer.

"We found them! Ok what was that other thing you said you needed to get, while I'm here?"

"That's all," the words rush out. "I have to go to the store tomorrow anyway."

"Are you sure?" she starts rustling through something at the store and it echo's through her phone mic.

"Positive." I say.

"Ok, we'll be there soon." She hangs up.

Great. Nothing better than unexpected visitors. And nothing better than unexpected visitors that call you and wake you on Sunday morning, your only day to sleep in.

Thanks Mom.

Full Circle

You know those moments when something suddenly hits you?

Vincent and Logan are at Mimi's for the night so it was just Daddy and the girls. We'd decided to watch Alvin and the chipmunks together so I made the popcorn and we piled onto the couch. At some point Arwen was laughing and cuddled close to me and I flashed back to my own childhood. Some of my fondest memories are of taking in a movie with my Mom and Dad. I loved listening to them laugh, it made my heart flutter and at times I felt it brim over. I didn't enjoy the movie as much as I enjoyed being with them and just listening to them laugh. I didn't watch the movie, I watched them.

As Arwen watched me laugh and laughed all the harder because of it I knew my life had come full circle. I'm not just her Mother, I am to her what my own Mother was to me ... the world. I hugged her tightly to me and made sure to laugh a little harder, a little longer, at the screen.

I have a feeling my parents weren't just watching the movie when I was a kid either.

Yard Work

Today was spent tidying up the yard. This is a huge chore for the entire family as our 'yard' is close to 1 acre. We managed to get the front finished but have to return tomorrow for the back. This is the one thing I loved so much about living an apartment; free landscaping. But then again, being so close to nature is worth the labor. I think it's more than a fair trade off.

I'm so sore and exhausted right now but in a good way.

Feeling the Pinch

Prices have been going up for some time now but honestly I'd just tried to continue on, business as usual. Sadly, I'm not going to be able to continue on in wonderland, thinking happy thoughts about a upward shift in the economy.

Last night I talked to Jimbo about ways to start cutting corners. With the rising gas costs alone (and from what I hear, it's only going to get worse) we have to prepare a counter offensive.

The thing that really bothers me are the people out there much worse off than we are. I just don't know how they do it and will be able to continue to do it. I'm talking about the girl in Wal-Mart who told me about working late shifts for extra cash only to put half into her car tank to get back and forth to work. I understand her frustration as I wanted to get a part-time weekend job myself but gave the idea up when I realized I'd barely break even after transportation costs.

I've been thinking about selling off Vincent's clothing he's outgrown on ebay. He has some really nice stuff that is very gently worn. Usually I sent that along to the Women's and Children's Ranch in the area, maybe I still will. I don't know.

I hope something shifts here soon. That little economy stimulus package the government is sending out won't be doing any stimulating anytime soon. We've already decided it's going into savings for christmas. The rest will be used as all of our money is - for bills.

6:30

Have you ever had mornings when you think, "6:30 came just too damned early!"? Well I do and it's today.

I woke up to Jimbo's voice, I was in a deep haze and I drifted off again. What seemed like seconds was in fact minutes when he returned and said, "Jaime, get up, it's almost 6:50!" The inner bitch, deprived of her much needed sleep, roared back. "Can't YOU do lunch for once??"

I crawled out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen. After Arwen was set I tried to sit and wake only to have Annabel start up, immediately followed by Logan. And now Vincent is on the warpath.

Damn you mornings, I will never like you, EVER.

Fairy Princess Angels

This is Arwen's interpretation of what "Fairy Princess Angel's" look like. I never knew make-up could be so much fun.

Small World

I saw this little guy and rushed to take a few shots.

I've entitled them, "It's a Small World".

Kiddos

Just random shots of the kiddos, Arwen is still at school or she'd be in them. I love the ones of Vincent most. I saw him crying as the bus was arriving and when I asked what's wrong he pushed out his bum and pointed.

Sometimes the unexpected moments are the absolute best part of being a Mom. I can't stop grinning when I picture him with bootie extended.

Got Milk?

"Mom, when you eat chocolate does that mean Annabel gets chocolate milk?"

Awkward.

The Final Good-Bye

Jimbo finally told me today we can walk away from Final Fantasy. I'm sad but more happy than anything, I'll take the good memories with me.

Thanks to everyone I met along the way. Gideon, Arn, Tytus, Marvus, it was a blast. And thanks Jamie for all your advice, it really helped a lot.

On the Mend

He's home and he's ok. The x-rays don't show any signs of damage. Other than some discomfort he should be fine. Right now he is chilling in the living room, relaxing in style on his bed. The only clue to his ordeal is the green band around his stubby forearm from his IV.

This is one of those times when money just didn't matter. We hit up savings without thinking twice. Sure he drives me nuts sometimes but so do the children. I'm just relieved he's going to be fine. It hit me in the gut while I was waiting for Logan to arrive home on the bus. It would get pretty dang lonely waiting for that bus all alone each day.

Animal Cruelty = Art?

Guillermo Habacuc Vargas do you recognize that name?

This idiot paid two children for a dog which he placed into his art museum, tied to the wall, without food or water until the dog eventually died. Then he had the nerve to call it art.

But wait, it gets better. Someone from a different gallery has asked him to do another exhibit like the first with another dog and there is a petition online to stop it from occurring. You can find it HERE.

Tantrum

He fell asleep on the sofa while I was sorting laundry and I knew the moment he woke because of his angry screams. Vincent hates waking up and because he hates it so much he makes sure I hate it too.

I tried to change his focus by asking what he wanted for lunch. I let him pick from the fridge and started making him two cheese dogs upon request. Only as soon as I started cooking he began to scream again, this time running into the other room to cry on the floor. I finished up and hurried his food to him. Of course in total Vincent style, he no longer wants the hotdogs and instead wants junk (aka candy). Telling him no meant another melt down and again I had to listen as he screamed and wailed.

The tantrum phase is one I can say I will certainly not miss. No sir.

Doomed

First I stubbed my toe when I woke, then I spilled coke all over my keyboard and finally while pulling out of the driveway to go to the doctor I backed over the dog.

The toe is fine.

The keyboard still sticks.

The dog is at the pet hospital.

I'm not leaving the house again today. I can't risk it.

It's Only a Game

I try not to blog about Final Fantasy too often. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's because I'm uncomfortable with it, even after years of playing. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not embarrassed that I play it's more of I'm uncomfortable having such strong emotions tied directly to something that is meant to be recreational and more importantly, is just a game.

Unfortunately for me, I have to blog about it, as blogging is my outlet to vent and express my anger, hurt and happiness. Recently for me the blogging in regard to it has been more from negative feelings than good and that made me truly question why it is I continue to play at all.

Back when I started, it was strange. A part of me enjoyed playing but another part of me felt so silly telling my friends or family about this other reality. When I'd make plans online and would have to decline offers to go visit or go out I could sense that little 'weirdness' people thought. But over time my family just accepted this as a part of our life and slowly it became less 'odd' so to speak. We played pretty seriously there for quite sometime, only in the past couple of years has our interest and enjoyment waned.

I suppose part of the change for us has been the people. That is the one aspect of MMORPG's I don't think many will ever truly understand unless they immerse themselves into the lifestyle. It's not just something you log into that you turn off as easily as hitting an off switch. The relationships and friendships take on their own life, just like they would if you meet someone in reality. And normally this would be awesome. It's a wonderful thing to meet and make new friends.

But there is a huge flaw, a flaw that makes it impossible to truly ever get to know anyone online. It's what I like to call the "behind the screen fearless persona". For people who have unhappy lives at home, who are depressed, sad, angry or jealous, for people who want to hurt others to build themselves up, online venues are just the right ticket. Here they can be whomever they want to be and no one, other than those they might know in real life, will ever know if it's the 'real' them or not.

Online these kinds of people can be vocal instead of quiet, angry instead of compliant, soft instead of hard or better still, hard instead of soft. They can do and say anything without fear of repercussions. There are no rules, no penalties, no moral codes. There is only you, the computer, the keyboard and the screen. What you choose to do is totally up to you. You decide how this story goes.

These past few months I've been struggling with one person in particular and as you can see from my entry below, it's about to come to heads. This woman who plays online is very manipulative, very cunning and she knows it. She plays a cool game and while I see her exactly for who and what she is, others have the blinds on and either cannot or will not see what is right in front of them. She plays a good game of manipulation. She is an emotional vampire as Lawfrog would say.

She has something to complain about each day. It ranges from her total failure of a husband who never helps her with their children, to having another migraine, to being totally stressed, to 'needing a break'. Yet she is online, each and everyday, for hours on end and she's a stay at home Mom who's youngest child is older than my oldest. I can be as symphathic as the next person but I realized long ago that people don't pay their money to hear my tales of stressful family woe. They don't care about my children, my heartburn or my lazy ass husband.

Still, each day she tells everyone her tragic stories, whether they want to hear it or not, whether you're a complete stranger or someone she actually speaks to. She also loves to play the 'one up' game too. So if you have a story, prepare yourself to be 'one upped' because she has something that was harder, sadder and more difficult than you could ever come to understand.

Her life you see, is pain.

I made the decision to stay clear of her when I found out about her many online 'relationships'. I know many people find love and happiness over the net but when you're a married woman with children it just seems wrong to me to play the field. I never told her this because she made a comment one day comparing her children to my own that put me so totally off I just avoided her completely thereafter. But if you've ever played and shared a linkshell or guild with someone, you know this is easier said than done.

Fast forward months later and now we absolutely hate one another. While I've never personally done anything to her months of not kissing her ass has made her resentful. She's one of those women that takes things one of two ways: You are for or you are against her. There is no middle ground.

I'm struggling with what to do about this. It's obvious I cannot continue to just let it go and hope for the best. There is no reason whatsoever for me to be unhappy doing something that is meant solely for the purposes of entertainment but at the same time I don't fork out our monthly fees to take it up the ass from this psycho bitch either.

I'll sum this person up with one example. There is a thread with members of our linkshell and their pictures. She posted a recent picture with 3 other women in which her hair was in a ponytail, she was blurry and in a very large t-shirt. She looked rather heavy in the picture and posted above it, "I've lost a lot of weight since then."

Then directly below that photo she posted a picture taken from her high school yearbook with her in 70's/80's western wear. She then said that she looked "like the older picture" just her "hair was different". She laughed that "I really need to take a new picture soon".

That alone tells me all I need to know about this person. How can she take responsibility for how badly her life has become or how unhappy she is if she cannot even move out of the past? And more importantly this tells me that nothing I say or do will ultimately mean shit because anything I say will trickle through one ear and flow right out the other. No one is going to make her comfortable in her own skin until SHE is comfortable in her own skin. Her own insecurities are going to be the cause of her inevitable downfall.

So it's only a game, a game with real people on the other side, or at least real people pretending to be 'real' people. Or better still, real people who wish they still looked like old glamour shots photo's.

(LOL The picture above is not of this woman, I suppose I could have been cruel and made it up to impose her character model on top of that high school shot of hers but I'm not that petty. This is just a random google'd shot I came across)

Dear 2 faced B*tch

Dear 2-Face,

I realize that you enjoy the world of MMORPG because it allows you the opportunity to become someone else. In this fantasy world you are not homely, your have men who think you are sweet and attractive and you consider yourself a "good" person. I'm glad the games you play behind a computer screen build you up so.

But have you considered your real life is shit because you play so much? That husband that treats you like shit that you complain about, maybe he treats you like that because you sit on your ass all day playing online and he knows as well as you know this is as good as it gets? Could it be that you realize your options are few and far and so you simply settle for what you get instead of getting a fucking clue and moving forward in your real life?

People like you make me physically ill. While I try not to judge others, for you, I'll make an exception. When you cross that fine line between starting shit with other people to make your life seem better and acting like the poor innocent victim, you hit my shit list and boy is your name right up on the top.

So to you I say this. I won't be playing FFXI forever. Soon my husband will feel tired of the drama and will want to leave. And when he does, all of these things no one will tell you but you so desperately need to hear I will impart.

So wait for it, it's coming. But bring some kleenex because a cleansing has begun.

Sincerely,

Gonna Ream it down your Throat

Vanity

The wrinkles have officially begun. I noticed this last year on my forehead in the space between my eyebrows. I'm a terrible "frowner" and years of the habit have made long creases that run from my forehead down. I'm also showing lines around my eyes from years of smiling big and laughing hard.

A part of me is sad and selfishly upset. Seeing the physical proof that I am no longer some hot young 20 something is oftentimes difficult to accept. I don't often feel my age and it was hard for me to remember when asked "how old are you" to answer "30" when I hit the big one. And it wasn't necessarily because I'm ashamed of my age rather than the transition wasn't instantaneous. Come to think of it, I'm fairly sure I'm not alone. I just didn't think of myself in terms of a 30-something instead of a 20-something. Just as I'm sure I won't think of myself as a 40-something if, and god willing when, the time comes.

Until then, these little marks that signify the changing of my life and the passing by of years will remain firmly a part of me. I suppose I could look at them as a road map of all the twists and turns my life has taken so far.

Poor Jimbo and I. He's losing his hair, I'm turning into a prune. What a pair we are.

Barbershop Rocks!

I've seen the shop many times during my trips to the drugstore and today I decided to take a chance. I walked Vincent inside and told the barber I needed a cut for him. To my delight Vincent was a total angel. He didn't cry or fuss and his hair looks so much better. (I'm sure it has to feel better too)

For all of the boy's future haircare needs this is the place I'm using and since his hair clippers had this little vacuum attachment the hair didn't fall all over Vincent's face. It was so much better than the last time I took him in for a trim.

I'm also pretty excited about a recent closet find of mine. Several months ago my aunt told me she was packing up stuff to give to the Good Will. She had shoes, purses and some clothing and asked me if I wanted to take a look at what she had. Since she usually has very nice things I asked for dibs on the purses and she handed them over. Unfortunately it was around Christmas and I wound up putting the bag into the closet and totally forgot about it...until today!

I found this gorgeous leather Dooney and Bourke doctor's satchel inside. This purse is so nice and better still, it's FREE. I need to ask her when she's purging her closet again!

Judgement

There is one thing about women that drives me insane...their judgement of others. More specifically their judgement of other women, especially other Mothers. I'm not sure why some women feel the need to bash or belittle the choices or paths others take. Perhaps they are justified in some of their thoughts but oftentimes I question the necessity to say harsh, mean or downright nasty things to another person who is trying to live life the best way she can.

Case in point. I read CNN.com each morning. Today there was an article about rising costs and i.report asked for contributions for ways to save money. Intrigued, I decided to submit my own story and what do you know, within an hour it was up. The first couple of comments were supportive and I was excited about writing something that got over 500 hits in an hours time. But then it happened...

"My husband and I did not have a "date night" when we were young and raising children, and why rent a moving every week, again we actually SACRIFICED when our children were babies, I don't think i saw a movie until it came on tv for 6 years.....

thats what is wrong with young adults these days, you don't know what sacrfice is........"

I was a bit shocked as my entry was only meant to offer helpful hints to save here and there. I responded to this comment of course and tried to maintain my composure. This person wasn't satisfied however and went on to comment more, even going so far as to tell me:

"We lived on a budget and planned, we did the things that you are doing now, nothing you are doing is new, you are not this great mom because you can freeze, been there done that. "

I sat dumbfounded at first at this venom coming from this total stranger who was lashing out at me from an anonymous name on a news website. Why in the world did she feel the need to berate me when I only hoped to share what information I had with others?

I responded to her one last time and I figure if she responds again it's best just to let it all go. I just cannot fathom why some people receive so much pleasure from degrading others. It's beyond my capacity to understand and I suppose I should be glad of it.

You can read my entry HERE. If just so happen to speak up on my behalf please feel free but I'd like to ask that you not mention this blog there. I purposely left out all information concerning this venue and I'd prefer to keep it as such.

Bang my Head Against the Wall

Please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT call me and ask me about anything computer or internet related over the phone. Chances are if you cannot figure the shit out I cannot help you and if I give you the internet address and "it isn't coming up" then politely thank me for my time and hang up the damned phone. Don't keep me on the line to suffer as you tell me over and over, "it isn't there!?!" And no, I don't "know what you're saying" I'm in another location, lest you forget.

My Mother drives me absolutely ape shit doing this. She called tonight wanting to locate an article online. I lead her to the website itself but "it doesn't have that bar you're talking about here, it just has blah blah blah" so I gave her the direct URL but "I only has a map here that says blah blah blah..."

After several agonizing minutes I began to lose my fucking mind and told her I had to pee and I'd call her right back. I then walked to the nearest wall and proceeded to bang my head up against it over and over until the sound of her voice was no longer echoing inside my brain.

Jimbo was kind enough to capture the moment below.

Finish the Sentence

taken from Anne over at Bun in the Oven. Sassy as she is wonderful!

finish the sentence.

maybe i should finish the laundry.
i love the smell of Annabel's baby hair.
people would say that I'm a loyal friend.
i don’t understand why gas costs are so insane.
i lost my mind for a brief time.
life is chaotic but rewarding.
my past is my past, I cannot change it nor would I want to.
i get annoyed when confronted with idiots.
my idea of a good time going out for the night with Jimbo to shoot pool while the kids are safe and sound here with Mom.
i wish Annabel didn't have ezcema.
Twins look fun but I'm glad to have my singles.
Dust Bunnies make me sneeze.
tomorrow i’m going to enjoy my children and ignore the chores that can wait.
i have low tolerance for rudeness.
i’m totally terrified of evil people that do harm upon children.
i wonder why I can't seem to get healthy.
never in my life have i eaten indian food.
high school was terrible for me, I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
when i’m nervous I chew on my lips and can't sit still.
one time at a family gathering I spilled coffee all over myself and had to borrow sweat pants from Uncle Jer to wear home.
take my advice: Live. Laugh. Love. Cherish.
Taking a good picture impresses me beyond belief.
i’m almost always thinking about one of my children.
i’m addicted to youtube.
i want someone to learn more about Neuroblastoma and/or Autism and donate.

Your Turn.

Feel the Bite, Bug Fright

I'm in pain. Annabel has started to bite me when she nurses. I knew it was coming. All of the children did this to me at some point BUT all of my children other than Miss Annabel lacked teeth until 1 year of age. I keep waiting for her to break the skin. It's hard to relax and let her nurse freely now because when I let my guard down and don't focus on her (rubbing her face or making eye contact) she bites down. She is too young to grasp "NO" very well and of course I'd never punish her physically. So I guess this is just a phase I'll have to grin and bear.

This season we have TONS of bloodthirsty mosquitoes. They are all over the house. I've killed at least 20 in the last week or so and they just keep coming in. That picture I took that looked like a dragonfly? I'm pretty sure it was one of the bloodsuckers in action.

Aside from being totally disgusting the bugs pose another issue. My children, especially Vincent, are terrified of them. Anytime Vincent spies a bug he will cry out in fear and come running to me, "BUG, BUGGG!" I feel badly as they got this from me I'm sure. I don't cope well with any type of insect or pest.

Otherwise this Monday has been pretty tame. The shingles are so gross though. They had begun to ooze, then dry and now they are doing both and the itch is unimaginable. I try to leave it alone but it's so hard. At least it's not so painful anymore.

One ring to rule them all...

OH!

MY!

GOD!

I adore my husband. Not just because he is the absolute BOMB but because his gifts are truly one of a kind and the absolute BEST. Well today he surprised me with this little beauty. Don't adjust your screen, it is a ring!

Jimbo, I have to hand it to you, you have taste (it doesn't hurt I direct him to places but still...)

*Sigh*

I've never considered myself a 'shoe' person but the other day I saw these shoes featured in my Instyle Magazine and then again on Angie Harmon on a fashion site. I've never ever wanted a pair of shoes so badly!

I realize of course I will never own these, not unless there is a massive sell of some sort. I've never paid more than $100 dollar for a pair of shoes and even then that was in high school on a pair of tennis shoes to be "cool". These will set you back a cool *gulp* $750 dollars.

I wonder if they make designer imposter shoes???

Wiggle Worm

Don't you love that first picture? She looks so sad when in actuality she was about to break into a smile. She's getting harder to photograph since she's such a wiggle worm!

Drowned Cat

That was me tonight. You should have seen it. I made my first trip into Hell-Mart to get the cokes, chips and snacks and as soon as I walked outside...the flood came crashing down. No matter how fast I put the things into the van I was still drenched.

I made my way back inside sopping wet and literally had to wring water out of my hair. I finished up my shopping and went outside to unpack in even more rain.

Even now as I type this my clothes are damp, so much for that good hair day.

Married Life

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men.

That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they will meet up for lunch to discuss.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, "you are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my Mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stocking, stilettos, and mask over my eyes. As soon as he came into the door and saw me he said:

"What's for dinner Batwoman?"

Waiting for the Bus

And he's here~!!