Monday, May 5, 2008

Caving In

The stress has become too much. Tonight after much research and soul searching I have decided to contact my Doctor tomorrow to be placed back on an antidepressant (Zoloft = heartburn for me so it will have to be Paxil which is safe while nursing). This also means I will be placed temporarily on something to alleviate this extreme anxiety (which will also be safe while nursing) which has taken such a strong hold on me.

The truth is, I can't take the stress with my health anymore, and I'm sure being off my medication has only added to the strain I'm experiencing. I'd hoped to be able to wait until Annabel weaned but as she still refuses solids or anything other than the breast I have to do this. She is older now and the amounts she'll get are very slim to none, so that is reassuring.

I've also spoken to Jimbo and Mom (Jim's Mom) and I am going to schedule my biopsy asap tomorrow (thanks Katherine). I hope this will prove to be nothing and if anything my mind will finally be at ease.

I'm seeing my Neurologist and giving the go ahead as well for the nerve blocks on each side of my neck Friday. I'm nervous but excited too. Anything to remove these migraines from my life is a plus.

Thanks everyone for your support, comments and just bearing with me as I rant. I know I've been angry and ventful recently but it's been due to these circumstances beyond my control. I hate feeling as if my life isn't being decided by me. Hopefully that is all about to change.

I'll keep you updated.


Anonymous said...


Katherine said...

I am so glad you're getting this checked out! I totally wasn't trying to be mean or anything, I just had something similar happed to me in January. I'm hopeful everything will come back fine or minor fixable issues!!

Without being too graphic, when I went to the bathroom, I was bleeding were I wasn't supposed to be. Kind of a lot. I had to go for an emergency colonoscopy, which still took a week to schedule. The specialist, was saying that I was the second young person (early 30's) she'd done one on that month, and the other girl had waited for 6 months, and hers turned out really bad. Which wasn't reassuring, except in "since young people don't usually have this happen and the dr's already seen one case, two's unlikely" way.

Anyway, Tim couldn't afford to take off to, he was in the middle of bar prep, so he dropped me off, and my brother came a few hours later to pick me up. Totally sucked being there alone, but the result (a small internal blemish, which will cause some bleeding from time to time but doesn't need surgery), more than makes up for it.

Thankfully, i was only out of commission one day.

Now I'm having abdominal pain, which they think is endometriosis, and the only way supposedly to definitively diagnose that is surgery, but they're sure there are no masses, and all surgery will do at this point is confirm the diagnosis and relieve the pain. I figure as long as there's no other health reason to have the surgery, i will wait until the pain is to bad. I can't see doing that just for the pain I have now.

Tania said...


I'm glad you're taking action by getting that biopsy scheduled and I hope everything works out in the end. (((hugs)))

Lawfrog said...

Glad to hear you're getting the biopsy scheduled. I'm with the other ladies, I was worried about you.

I'm also glad you're going back on the meds for the anxiety. As a fellow anxiety sufferer (Zoloft is the stuff of Gods IMO), I know how bad that can be.