Thursday, May 1, 2008


Trouble is brewing in the family and it's unexpectedly from my husband's side (which in and of itself is strange). This trouble comes in the form of a 13 year old boy who just happens to be Jimbo's cousin. First a little back story.

Samuel's Mother was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease when he was 1 or so. She fought a hard battle but didn't make it. Her only son was 2 years old when she passed. She'd wanted her Mother to take him but her Mom (for reasons that I could devote several blog entries to) declined and instead her sister, Jill, took on the role of single parent.

When I met Jimbo, Samuel visited often. He loved it here for obvious reasons. Jimbo is great with kids and at the time the house was a bachelor pad. Then after Jimbo and I had children and started our family together Samuel's visits became less frequent. He was just too 'rough' with the children, even pushing them as toddlers out of the way if they dared walk in front of the television. He didn't like being reprimanded or sharing the attention.

The last few years have seen an increase in 'problems' with this kid. He's been fighting with Jill for years, got kicked from his private school, failed a grade, and threatened suicide. He's got severe emotional problems and has been seeing a psychologist for years. Yet nothing seems to be working and the downward spiral continues.

The last I'd heard Jill had finally decided to take the most drastic of steps - to send him to a military type school. It wouldn't be easy, she would be required to take Samuel to group meetings with therapists where he would be evaluated before he would get the help he so desperately needs. But for some reason she changed her mind. She didn't take him to the meetings and she didn't proceed with her plans. So he's been left to continue on his already plummeting path.

I found out this week he was suspended again from his new school. This makes the second time this semester. He vandalized the chalk board by taking a sharp object and carving his name into it and the faculty was none too pleased.

I feel for Jill. She didn't ask to lose her sister or to become a single Mom. She never married and enjoys her life and lifestyle as a single. But ultimately she did agree to take this responsibility. She needs to give up that job that calls for so many hours and she needs to get him help now, if it's not already too late.

Things are so bad she had to place a lock on her bedroom to keep him from stealing her things. If she can't trust him not to steal from her, what about others? And who does she think will be responsible for his actions when he really does something bad?

The entire thing is just awful. There are no winners.

(forgot to mention, his Father doesn't want to have anything to do with him and hasn't since his Mother died. He should be shot.)