Birthday Party Bonding

I took Arwen to her first ever birthday party that was not held by a family member. We got dressed in our finest and set out for a Mother/Daughter milestone. I was embarrassed that I didn't know the location of the store and therefore relied on my Mother's wisdom. It caused me to be 8 minutes late (thank god others were much later than myself but still).

We gathered at the Build A Bear workshop. I'm not against build a bear honestly, just freaked out a bit by the concept of it. I will admit this however, the little routine they do with the hearts is cute. Basically, the kids get in a circle, play a few rounds of duck duck goose and finally are given 2 velvety red hearts. To these hearts they do things like rubbing their heads to make their bear smart, rubbing their tummies to keep the bear full, you get the drift. Then when they are done they place one heart into their bear and the other into the birthday girls bear.

So we get there, Arwen gets into the circle and I listen to as the girl writing her name onto a sticker says repeatedly, "Arwen from Lord of the Rings! I love that name, you're named after that elvaan princess!" (that is a topic for another day, yes I named my child after the character from the BOOK I read in high school. The movie happened to come out 3 weeks before her birth, a complete coincidence, trust me.)

When all kids are set, they march off toward the back. I follow and am left standing there. It's obvious which Mom's know one another. They are in a group, chatting away. It makes me uncomfortable but I'm there for my child, so I make faces at her and smile when she gets excited and says "look Mommy!" and tries to include me.

Then a woman approaches. "Which girl is yours?" She is flanked by another Mom. These women are a good 10 years older than myself. I begin wondering if I'm dressed appropriately. I have on my tank sweater, jeans, sandals and vamp nails. "Arwen." I responded, smiling at Arwen in the circle, taking her turn as the "goose".

"I knew that!" the smaller woman responds. "She looks just like you." I ask which children are theirs, they tell me. Then the larger woman (as in very tall) begins to ask about my other children. Upon finding out if I have 4, asks if I have "help" that comes out to the house. I smile politely and answer their questions. Tell them no, that I have one child in a special needs program for autism. The smaller woman listens and then announces "I want coffee! do you need some?" I thank her but say no, she walks away leaving me with the green giant.

We continue to make small talk, she brings up adoption/fostering. She tells me her two oldest children were foster-adopts and how it works. She begins getting tears in her eyes. I apologize for making her upset, she tells me it's blocked tear ducts and once it starts it won't stop, I let it go.

As the kids finish at build a bear, Arwen is having a blast, she runs to me, gives me hugs and kisses and says she loves me. I notice she is the ONLY child that holds their Mother's hand as we make our way out of the store to the food area. I smile to myself and think how lucky I am we share such a close bond.

The giant sits next to me, I notice she doesn't talk so I try to strike up a conversation. Then a child comes up and blows the birthday whistle at me, in play I jump back, gasp, and say "you scared me!" The little girl laughs but I see the face of the giant. She isn't amused. So when the little girl does the same thing again to me, I yell in fear even louder, the little girl squeals in delight.

When it's time to leave, I look for the giant, thinking perhaps we'd made nice enough that I could tell her it was nice to meet her and such. To my dismay, she is gone, nary a word to me. I don't know if I should feel disappointed or snubbed. I shrug it off and find the birthday girl and her Mother, I thank them for inviting us.

As we walk away, Arwen requests a ice cream cone, so we head over to Ben and Jerry's. I end up forking over 3 dollars (freaking 3 dollars for a small cone!) and then we head over and get my coffee. Arwen wants to ride the bungee thing they have set up, it's 6 bucks a ride. I tell her ok. As I squat down to grab my purse coffee shoots down my arm from the overfull cup. I see no napkins so I stare at my arm for a second, pondering what in the world to do with the droplets. I can't wipe it on my pants or my shirt.

I must have sat like that for 30 seconds before making my decision. I quickly licked my arm, it takes several swipes to get most of it. As I look up, I see the woman at a counter (in the beauty store no less) staring straight at me. I can't read her face but decide it's best to mosey on to the ride for Arwen than to step in and explore their polish racks. My face is red.

I take Arwen to her ride and fork over the 6 dollars for 3 minutes. These people are making a killing. I yell to Arwen as she flies in the air and absorb her laughter into my mind and heart, making a memory I'll store for a bad day. She twists her little body, trying to perform a flip. I cheer her on and a woman next to me says "that little girl is fearless!" I nod, but don't think she's talking to anyone in general.

When the ride is over my little girl runs to me and I sit her down to place her sandels on her tiny feet. I notice she will need new shoes soon, her feet have grown again. I look into her flushed face and lean forward and plant a kiss on her cheek. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me to her. "I love you Mommy! you're the best Mom ever!" I feel myself melt into the hug and I tell her I love her so much.

As we stand to walk away I'm grateful for this "first" we conquered together. I'm even more blessed to share it with this little girl, MY little girl. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Can we do this again Mom?" she asks.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world sweets."