Friday, August 8, 2008

When Grandma goes to Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness.

"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why yes, I know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy and quite frankly, you are a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you."

The lawyer was stunned, not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked:

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice said:

"If either of you idiots ask her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."