Sleepless Nights

How many nights can a person successfully sustain themselves with little to no sleep?

I'm on 15 months and counting.

No wonder I put the milk into the cabinet this morning instead of the fridge.

You know when...

You know you're life is chaotic when your 6 year wedding anniversary is fast approaching and you completely forgot about it until yesterday.

We figure we'll take in a movie and maybe go out for dinner. It's amazing how time, and more importantly children, change those "plans". We always swore we'd go on a trip for our 5 year anniversary and maybe even venture to Italy or some other dream locale for our 10. But thus far it's been: Us, dinner and a movie.

Cousin "It"

Tonight, while at Hell-Mart, I noticed a teenage boy with his parents. Why did I notice this one boy in particular in the midst of all these strangers? The truth is - his hair.

His face was completely covered, from forehead to chin, with thin and greasy strands.

I watched him with his family as they walked the aisle, wondering how in the hell he could see, staring even though it was wrong.

I once told my Mom I'd prefer to have an emo child rather than rear a football player or cheerleader (weird? maybe. But I was a 'dark side' kinda gal in High School myself) but after seeing cousin IT...I think cheering on the sports team isn't so bad.

Wedding Ring Exchange Fail

Now that's something I'd never forget!

Dennis Leary

You've got to love AN IDIOT AT HIS BEST.

To summarize, Dennis Leary has published a new book which I confess I have not read (and I also admit I will not be reading) in which he says:

"There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically."

Of course now he is clarifying "what he meant" by that remark and he says he has nothing but respect for families that have autistic children. Hey Dennis, while you're at it, why don't you go out and bash the comedians that have no fucking concept of what the hell they are talking about - as evidenced by a well known one that recently opened his mouth, shoved his foot inside and tried to explain afterward what he meant.

It's not humor if it's not funny - it's just tacky and sad. So is resorting to insulting children by calling them "dumb-asses". Good luck with that best seller brother, I'm sure you don't need the support of the autistic community to make it a winner!

Mom Confession of the Week

I will not lie to my children and give them the false hope that pimples miraculously vanish into the acne oblivion when you 'get older'. Thanks for lying to me Mom. Did you think I wouldn't find out?

The "Wilderness"

Only in Redneckville would you come outside to wait for the bus and see Bambi standing in your front yard. It was pretty surreal but also pretty damned cool. If I do say so myself.

So what if I can't make a run to the border for some Taco Hell. I have deers and shit at my casa!!

Look what "I" made Mommy!!

My dear sweet Annabel is - beautiful, funny, and lovable. She is also cranky, sleepless and clingy. There is give and take, it's to be expected. So it really should have come as no surprise when she unveiled her new favorite "thing" - if you will.

My sweet baby girl loves to play with her poop. The first few times I figured: dirty diaper + too small = hands in poop. But I got smart to her game when I saw her grunting and reaching into her diaper.

What started out as something we all laughed about has now turned into the most repulsive game of cat and mouse. Now I hawk eye her with one thought churning in my brain -

Must.Not.Let.Baby.Play.With.Poop.

My husband, of course, thinks it's funny, reminding me she is just sharing what she so proudly "made herself". I think this weekend I'll leave him for a few hours alone with her. I don't think he'll find it so funny when it's his shirt, hands and potentially face, covered in steaming shit.

Annabel, so adorable, so sweet...so disgusting.

I never thought I'd hear...

Vincent and Logan : MOMMY! There's a french fry in the toilet!

**LOUD FLUSH**

Vincent and Logan: Bye bye, french fry!!

Seriously, I never thought I'd ever hear that. As for the real world. My PC finally just went ka-plow and we had to order a new one. The one one arrived and I just have to get my email back up and running. I hope no one has emailed me and I've not responded, if so, you know why. Now I will be back to speed and blogging more often (2 weeks for an entry, blasphemy!!)

I survived fall break but I'm sure some new gray hair is forming under my impressive Feria dye job. I also found out my thyroid issues have returned. At first I thought I needed to lay off the food, but now I know no dieting in this world will help.

And to all you husbands out there (and wives too). If your spouse has snot spread across their shirts from your offspring, gaping at him/her with mouth wide isn't exactly helping. Just lift your jaw and curb your disgust and tell us "hey, you have snot all over you!" Then we can go change and not feel like a total douche when the FedEx guy arrives and stares like we're the most disgusting creature since Smeagol.

And finally, a picture of the baby girl. She's growing so fast!!