Anatomy of a Gallbladder Attack

Heated pressure in my abdomen. My eyes flutter and my pupils dilate as the wall of my room comes into focus. I look to my left and watch Annabel as she sleeps, the bathroom light casts a soft glow in the dark. Her little face is peaceful and I find myself wishing I had the same restful sleep she is experiencing. The pressure in my abdomen grows, reminding me what is coming.

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Gently, I pull the comforter away from my body. I lift myself from the bed, using my arms and legs to keep the bed from shifting and waking the baby. I cover Annabel and caress her tummy before walking to Jimbo's side of the bed. I shake his arm softly.

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"I'm having an attack, please take care of the baby." The words come out hushed but I'm close to his ear, to make sure he hears me.

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He opens his eyes, looking as if he's still in a dream and nods. I know that nod, it means to come and get him if I need him and he has the baby. As I walk out of the room I hear the bed shift, he is turning to face the baby and keep an eye on her.

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I walk downstairs and make my way to the medicine cabinet. I down my pain medication first, I say a small prayer that the strong narcotic will have time to absorb into my system before the vomiting starts. I reach for the tums next and make sure to chew several. The pain changes from dull to sharp and I begin pacing back and forth in the basement. I keep the TV off, the only light to illuminate my basement path comes from the hallway.

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Within minutes, the attack truly begins. I feel pain radiating through my stomach, out of my back. My shoulder gets sharp stabbing pains and I walk faster in my little basement circle. I try to keep my breathing slow and not to tense up as it only makes it worse. This goes on for 10 minutes but it feels like an hour.

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Soon I have to make my way into the bathroom, this is where things go from bad to worse. Each time I manage to empty my stomach, the pain increases. It feels as if I've been impaled upon a huge stake and with each heave that stake is being twisted. I feel trickles of perspiration on my brow and I start to shake violently. I try to keep quiet but can't help myself, I always break and begin saying over and over "oh please god, please".

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I rise and try to return to pacing. The pain makes me want to lay on the floor and cry but I know from past experience that the pain is actually made worse by laying down, so I make myself walk. My thoughts become incoherent as my body is immersed in pain, my mind refuses to focus on anything else.

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Thus begins a rotation. Pacing the floor, returning to the bathroom, writhing on the floor, couch or chair. I rock quickly back and forth, arms firmly wrapped around my self as if it will minimize the agony. I've heard other people have suffered an attack for up to 8 hours before. My personal experience has seen 5 hours but it seemed a lifetime.

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Three hours later, the attack finally ends. I am physically and emotionally spent. My entire body aches, my hair is wet and tangled, my throat burns and my right side is sore. I'm also very sleepy from the large dosage of narcotics used to help ease but not diminish the attack.

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I pray none of you ever have gallstones. I can honestly say that apart from the 3rd degree tear I received from having Vincent, this is the worst pain I've ever experienced. I could slap myself for eating that casserole for dinner but I think I've been punished enough for one night.

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I've decided to set up the meeting with a surgeon. I've been preparing for it for the last couple of weeks by pumping for Annabel. After tonight I know I can't keep doing this.